One tip I learned is “show not tell”. That means you show what happens instead of telling the reader. That makes scenes more engaging. I’ve found it works well for me. At first it feels tedious, but after a while, it becomes a habit!
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Characters taking long enough to talk about something to resolve a problem that they go around in circles about it, especially when the PC isn’t given the chance to contribute or respond meaningfully; regularly being given pages without choices, especially if they have several clicks without them.
On a prose level: descriptions that are so exhaustive that they become exhausting.
An example: “[character’s] forehead wrinkles questioningly as they tilt their head and their lips part in confusion. Drawing a brief breath, they say in a baffled but friendly voice, “was that a coffee you wanted?” You nod your head and their mouth widens to give you back a returning smile. They lift up their bag in their hands, put it on the wooden table, and get out their phone to pay at the till.”
There’s a place for lingering descriptions but it works best with moments that are substantial. The details here are inconsequential and uninteresting - maybe note the brand of bag or something about the table if it’s worth mentioning, but there’s no need to say the table is wooden if that’s not notable for the setting or the PC. And this description makes a mountain out of the NPC’s molehill behaviour; this amount of lingering is fine if it’s less repetitive and it matters to the characters, but if every interaction is equally weighty it becomes hard to gauge what we should care about and focus on. Similarly if every environmental description is focused on equally, and is equally lengthy, it becomes tiring and raises questions of why the PC is focusing on everything to this degree. These details are also all very visual, so it feels flat - it’s better to ground descriptions in other senses as well.
Perspective is a really powerful tool in guiding player feelings and showing things about the PC - don’t neglect it by overloading the player with every detail.
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By the way, time has caught up with me - give me a shout if anyone wants to create the July support thread. If I don’t hear anything I’ll make one mid-morning UK time on the 1st.
Edit: Havenstone has volunteered, much appreciated!
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I can’t help picturing the MC in that example is just glazing over and staring the NPC blankly.
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I think they are both staring at each other too long.
Which is totally fine if that’s what the writer’s going for! But it’s an easy thing to fall into unintentionally, especially if you’re wanting to create a full detailed picture.
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I actually have difficulties when it comes to creating a full detailed picture. My mind have a hard time to come up with right words. For someone who has a limited understanding in this langauge(English), what’s your best advice guys. All you who have experience and are wise because of, please share. I have read many Choicescript games and I find myself thinking if I will ever be able to be that good.
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I like thinking about different senses, and what the MC might focus on consciously or notice unconsciously. It can be fun to practise by writing down what you see/hear/smell/feel when in a scene yourself, like sitting in a cafe or a park or something. How does the air feel, what’s the mood of the people around if they are, etc.
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Practice. An exercise I’ve done before is to write in layers. Pick something around you to describe. Then, just state what you see. Don’t worry about being especially detailed or anything.
A coffee mug on a coaster
Then, for the second layer, get more specific. What color is the mug? How full is it? etc.
A brown coffee mug, with a splash of mother-of-pearl blue on one side, sits off-center on a stone coaster.
For the next layer, describe the same thing, but add even more details. Try to add at least one more sense.
A warm-to-the-touch, natural brown coffee mug, with a splash of mother-of-pearl on the side – dark brown-violet on the edges and burning to a creamy-blue in the center – sits off-center and half-full of sweet coffee on a stone coaster.
Honestly, keep going, layer by layer, until you cannot think of anything else to add. Going by layers helps because you’re not trying to think of everything at once. Other layers to consider:
- different ways to share the same detail (e.g., a splash of irridescence)
- using similes and metaphors (e.g., brown like river clay)
Then, when you can’t think of another layer to add, you start pruning (again with layers). This time, you’re adding a point-of-view. Who is describing the mug? What do they care about?
Maybe the pov is a detective at a crime scene. In that case, the key details are probably that the mug is half-full and warm are most important.
Maybe the pov is a woman filing for divorce and the mug is from a set she got as a wedding present. In that case, the color and shape of the mug are most important.
If this isn’t for a project, go ahead do this layer multiple times, each with a different pov. For pov, think both about the character and the context. The detective who is looking through notes while drinking coffee will describe that mug differently than the detective who notices a mug at a crime scene, after all.
On a coaster by the computer sits a mug, half-full of still-warm coffee.
or
Her coffee mug is one of the river-clay brown ones with that irridescent splash of pale blue and violet dripping down one side.
And, for another layer, if relevant add in emotional context.
Her mug, she realizes, is part of her wedding set. She’d loved the natural brown with the unexpected splash of irridescent blue back then. Now, only the warm coffee remaining in the mug keeps her from throwing it against the wall.
The writing doesn’t have to be stellar. Just do at least one image per day. (Describing something multiple ways, such as points-of-view or genres or using different senses, is another exercise I’ve done and one I like to use as a warm-up when words are hard or when I’m bored). It is just about practicing. The right words aren’t the fanciest or biggest words. The right words are the ones that are right for the point-of-view, moment, and genre.
Another thing you can do is read, but read with intent. When you find a descriptive passage you like, pause and think about why you like it. What does the author do to help you be in the scene? How does the description relate to the rest of the story? How does it make you feel in general, about the plot, or about the characters? How does it build or ease tension?
Consider making a scrapbook, copy book, photo album, etc of your favorite passages. Or, try re-writing the passages from a different point-of-view or in a different genre.
You can also just be more aware. When you’re out walking, take time to think about what you hear, smell, feel, see, or taste. Try to notice at least one thing that surprises you or that seems out-of-place. Later, consider writing down what you remember.
So, in sum, practice writing and being more aware, both of what makes writing effective and what is in the world around you.
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I’ve been mulling over my pre-apocalyptic detective story idea (where the reality is already breaking apart, but the world hasn’t really ended yet, from these characters’ point of view anyway) and I’m trying to decide if it should be the MC or their grumpy off-towner coworker who’s secretly (and unknowingly) an ancient amnesiac elder god reality warper who was accidentally summoned by a TTRPG group.
This is how the world ends
Not with a bang but a nat 20
It would fit the coworker, but I think the MC would be funnier. Maybe the coworker as a red herring?
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Here’s my digest for the new releases and updates for June! Let me know if I’ve missed anything.
June Releases
- The Last Scion by DGP Rector (Choice of Games)
- Eternal Affairs by Jamie Maurer (Heart’s Choice)
- The Soul Stone War by Morgan Vane (Hosted Games)
- In the Halls of Asgard by Eleanor Cooke (Hosted Games)
Estimated Releases Next Month
- Spire, Surge, and Sea by Stewart Baker (Choice of Games)
- WW2 Armored Recon by Allen Gies (Hosted Games)
- To Ashes You Shall Return by Kaitlyn Grube (Hosted Games)
Author Interviews
- DGP Rector for The Last Scion (Choice of Games)
- Jamie Maurer for Eternal Affairs (Heart’s Choice)
Current Full Game Beta Testing
- Games of the Monarch’s Eye by Saffron Kuo
New HG/Hobby WIPs
- Autumn Winds by @yamato1
- Bleed by @Kaya
- Blue Dominion by @Max_Ferran
- Dog Days: The Battle For Huế by @RedizE
- Fate of the Undead by @Miznie
- KAMEHAMEHA - The Archipelago Regent by @Nahim_Kerman
- Life As A Ruler: Nexus Island: Story Mode by @LibtechMK
- Love’s Choice by @ShayWrites
- Surviving Another World by @Kaoru
- Tales of Blood by @Auragreedia
- The Cruel Palace by @DeadEnd
- The Empty Chairs by @Julian_Grant
- The Hollow Man by @Francis_CM
- Throne of Blood and Roses by @Simskidd0
- Transcended Awakening by @Daibu
- Trial of the Demon Hunter update by @Samuel_H_Young
- When the Stars Aligned by @Keira
CoG WIP Update
HG/Hobby WIP Updates
- After Dark by @Daleko
- Agents of Lucifer by @PrismaticOdyssey
- Ashenmaw - Dragons of Marrowoods by @Meltingpenguins
- Below the Skyline by @dozendietcokesaday
- Bright Eyed by @Jonathan_Michaelson
- Chains of Destiny: Book One by @notlev
- College Tennis: Origin Story by @burninglights
- Kingdoms and Empires by @FatedFlame
- Oh Mother, Where Art Thou? by @Fable
- Party of Four by @zozopuff
- Shattered Eagle: Fall of an Empire by @Azan
- Strings of Fate: Origins by @the.normandy
- Suevi by @Bellamy
- Tainted Souls: Fables & Mths - The Bonded Awakening by @Kelse_DeAngelo
- The Eternal Library by @leiatalon
- The Last Witch: Shadows of the Ashwood Trials by @Audrine
- The Mandate of Aurelia by @SamsonJBodney
- The Shadow Society rewrite by @Carawen
- The Sword of Rhivenia by @nutellaqueen
- The Ultimate Magic Student by @ZCometa
- Walls of Natrun by @Omeg
- Weeping Gods by @jcollins
- Westbound Travel by @TheMorrigan
- Weydosa Island by @tyorion10
AletheiaKnights Reviews
- The Hero of Kendrickstone by Paul Wang
- The Luminous Underground by Phoebe Barton
New Steam pages for wishlisting
- Hero of Hoofbeat Hollow by Amy Claire Fontaine
- WW2 Armored Recon by Allen Gies
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In a few months, I’ll be starting college. I ghostwrite on the side and manage a few websites, but Blue Dominion is more of a passion project than anything else right now. I’ve received a few scholarships for my essays, though writing isn’t a part-time job for me (at least not yet, as much as I wish it were).
My hope is to publish Blue Dominion sometime in late 2026 (rough estimate), if it gets accepted for review. Maybe that can help cover some of the costs as I pursue my engineering degree.
It’s always interesting to see how others approach writing, whether it’s a full-time gig or something we fit around everything else.
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Yo, this is cool. I didn’t know we had lists like this. Why don’t these digests have a thread of their own?
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Just that I’m in the habit of dropping them towards the end of the writer support thread at the end of the month really, I can make a separate thread next time if that’d be more visible 
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That’s awesome! Much easier to view other WIPs.
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I don’t know how this one passed me by, until now. It looks awesome.
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I did all of this! I was a bit less diligent about being less online at points though, and noticed the difference.
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It does, doesn’t it? I’m looking forward to when it’s out!
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Hey Jay!
Thanks a ton for the mention with that! I do have an in-game glossary with a section for game mechanics, so that’s a great idea to add that major events may lock out prior progression options. My goal is to build something comprehensive for players. As an example; during Character Creation, when you’re assigning P.R.O.T.O.C.O.L. Stats, you can choose to look at more information about the individual stats. This pulls up that glossary game mechanic page for that specific mechanic, the very same page that can be accessed at anytime through the Stats page.
In general, I’ve created thankfully a decentralized file structure. I wanted everything disconnected from the Choicescript_Stats.txt file so that way everything could be accessed anywhere in the game without any change errors. Overall things are moving up at a great pace. Writing is flying along, structure is shifting into place, and I got a lot that I’m developing. I’m about to create the structural system for management when in your apartment, and I’m about to develop the first profession gameplay loop, in this case for salvaging!
Super excited overall, and I’ve been grateful for everything both you and Harris have said.
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That’s a smart move, updating the choicescript_stat text file can be such a hassle. I’ll definitely check out your work; I’ve heard great things about it!
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I just realized you’re the author, fantastic work! I really like how you made visible stat indicators optional. I can imagine how tedious that must have been to implement across so many choices. I’m trying to do something similar with Blue Dominion.
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