[WIP]Bleed(Superpowered Antihero Crime-Thriller) [Updated 6/29/25, 40k words]

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A gritty, neo-noir superhero thriller where you don the mask of a tortured antihero carving your own bloody justice through a city drowning in corruption.

:performing_arts: Features:

  • :crossed_swords: Brutal hand-to-hand combat, tactical decisions, and power showcases.

  • :performing_arts: Maintain your double life as Rakerhills PD Detective by day, and the masked vigilante by night.

  • :black_heart: Build dynamic relationships with characters like introverted nurse , sharp-tongued reporter , idealistic meta human, a diner sweetheart and your complicated superior.

  • :crown: Navigate a deep conspiracy between the Legion, Black Mantis, and a terrifying new power rising in the shadows.

Premise

In a metropolis ruled by shadow cartels and corporate-sponsored superheroes, you — a rogue meta-human with a brutal past — fight a secret war. Hunted by the Legion, pursued by the Black Mantis crime syndicate, and haunted by the experiments that made you, your choices will forge the legend of Bleed, for better or worse.

Play here

180 Likes
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I love the raw emotion from every text, and the whole ‘grim and dank’ noir you’ve got here. Very much dig the vibes.

You don’t need theatrics. You’re not here to impress. You’re here to end people.

I also love how when street macho shoulder checks you there’s an option to not give a fuck. Kill criminals, give no fucks about posturing or proving anything.

14 Likes
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May be the best there is at the moment, big love

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Finally, the greatest role we could ever play

Red Hood

14 Likes
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Good story so with good world building to back it up. It reminds of fallen hero like living a double life. A normal life when needed and the rogue when things need to be done with a mask. Same agency kind of thing for the MC backstory.

I think it should taken a bit of time first to figure out who the new kid on block is first instead knowing right away. It kind of ruined it a bit. The only bug I found is the reporters pronouns. It either switching gender or using the wrong one for the sentence.

2 Likes
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Can the bold for dialogues be removed, it looks weird. Just keep it normal like other text

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Its fine to have it but it does need to be consistent. Like either keep it only in dialogue or emphasize important words and statements/questions.

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Even though I chose the female option every dialog referenced my character as male kinda really took me out of it alot. good writing tho and the world building is great. looking forward to where this goes!

19 Likes
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This story is amazing, I love that we can be kind but still cool and intimidating :laughing: I would like to make a suggestion, can we have friendship points with our RO’s, too? I don’t like to flirt with all of them. I want to have a bit of a friendship with them without getting all mushy and flirty with them :laughing:
One thing made me sad these were the pronouns for the RO’s (he, she), they were all over the place. my male RO’s were one time male than in another sentence female :laughing:

2 Likes
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Just what we needed a grounded, gritty vigilante story!!!

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I’ll definitely be keeping an interested eye on this amazing IF the last one with a similar (but more pseudo futuristic) anti hero theme died off and this one is right up my alley with the noir gritty vigilante/ anti hero aspect.

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Hi @Kaya ,
Huh, it was a read! Interesting promise, competent/badass MC, can have soft side or full psycho ruthless. Well, we are kicking asses here, nice! :slight_smile:
Some bug report, nothing gamebreaking, only substitutions are missed here and there:

  • the pronouns/genders of both the older detective and journalist (especially at the end) is off sometimes (seems hardcoded females - see monologue of detective, journalist scene during Kraken fight).
  • especially at the endish Valor refers to the mask name of MC as Bleed and earlier someone as Mask.

Thank you, Kaya! Have a nice day! :slight_smile:
endy

2 Likes
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wow, this wip is amazing. the fight scenes Are top notch :ok_hand:. can’t wait for the next update. amazing job :100::clap:

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I found this, too. It was really off-putting. Every character I interacted with referred to me as “man,” “guy,” “boy,” or even “son-of-a…” Literally every character. There were descriptions where I saw a five-o’clock shadow in a reflection. It became very clear, very early, that this wasn’t an issue with mis-tagged code, this was the case of an author writing with a particular protagonist in mind.

That’s fine – it really is – but I think at this point I’d recommend switching the game to a genderlocked-male descriptor and just removing the gender selection from the available options. It won’t be a game for everyone, but at least readers will know what to expect going in, rather than discovering it wasn’t a story written with them in mind after they’ve invested their time in it. Additionally, the author will get to write the progonist they wanted to write.

The other option probably involves not just a fair amount of rewriting and tagging, but a slightly more gender-neutral reimagining of the protagonist. That would open the story up to more readers (myself included.)

Really, though, I don’t know if that’s the best option. While there are certainly women and non-binary readers out there who may enjoy hyper-violent antiheroes, the whole narrative felt pretty heavily skewed towards young male readers. I don’t mean that in a critical or judgemental way, I simply mean it as a descriptor for whom the presumed audience seems to be. If that’s accurate, then you might as well embrace it.

I’d also second the recommendation to remove the bold type from dialogue and descriptions unless you have specific reasons for using it. It’s not something that’s typically used in any case I’ve encountered, and it has the effect (in my opinion) of breaking the story flow.

Anyway, this was probably more criticism than any author wants to see in a WIP post for their story, but I hope it’s read as constructive. I do think that the noir feel was consistent and well-executed and the writing generally felt quite good (few errors with grammar or usage, good variation of sentence structure, etc.)

22 Likes
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I really love the tone here. The writing and story are great. The only bug i noticed is that the genders, pronouns, and descriptive language regarding gender flip flop a lot. So much so that taking screenshots was too much. That said i really love how this is written and the descriptive writing based on your chosen looks is a great touch.

8 Likes
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Love the game very much, but I pick male for all the characters and they are called she instead of her especially the bold black texts

5 Likes
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A MC who is actually a BADASS and a ALPHA, now That’s what i like! This MC give off a Batman like aura but a tad bit more darker and griity. Keep up the good work.

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I have to give props man, its a good concept and already being executed amazingly well, MC being Moon Knight + Punisher is just right up my alley

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I am working on the gender fix and yeah i wrote it down as a male protagonist later changed the code to add more gender

1 Like
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Personally, MC is cringe. Learning there’s a homicide then grinning because you hate when your not working. Seems like something a jobless teen would think off.
Maybe this behavior of theirs could be explained later on.

7 Likes