Probably would have made more sense story wise if MC was a teen instead of an actual adult detective.
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I mean mc escaped from the labs few years ago he did nt have normal growth like other teens so it is nt surprising he thinks like that
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MC is 21 as well so he isnāt that far off from his teenage years
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True and thereās some very cringey young adults out there.
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I personally very much appreciate you putting in the extra effort to give us a gender selectable protagonist. I know it must be a bit difficult given originally it was male only and honestly you deserve a thousand kudos for it and more.
Really enjoying the story, looking forward to seeing the rest of this awesome story.
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Iād like to second this! I think this project is really fun so far and very promising. I pretty much never play male protags though, so Iād be sad if you chose to go back to a male-only protagonist.
Would it be helpful to have instances of wrong pronouns flagged? Towards the end it seems like you ran out of steam a little because there are more than the earlier demo.
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I like it, and I like what (I assume) is a deliberately over the top edgy tone to the writing. Reminds me of comic books from the 90s.
That said, I think it is a bit overbearing. By the time I got to the police station, I was kinda thinking āOkay, I got it. Protagonist is really hard boiled in a shithole cityā. You might consider toning it down a bit. I donāt think we need a reminder of how much everything sucks on basically every āpageā.
Also, might just be because the city sucks, but being detective at 21 feels unlikely. Being a higher ranking detective at 25 especially so. I think if you bumped both the protagonist and the other detectivesā ages up by about 5 years, that would feel more ānaturalā.
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This was fantastic, it had a real Frank Miller vibe to it. Iām interested in seeing where it goes.
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Currently still on my first read through but very fun gritty setting so far with some nice snappy interactions. :DD
I feel like Iām parroting everyone else but Iād just like to boost the fact that it seems this was initially written as a āmale-mc x female!rosā story so there are quite a few typos (such as Brandon being referred to as ālady copā by the reporter or the use of āhisā instead of āhimā for male-designated ROs since the equivalent for both is āherā or how the ROs only use the female variants of their names in the stats page) when it comes to gendered language. Still, I deeply appreciate that youāre going out of your way to fix these inconsistencies, though some instances where āmanā is used as casual language doesnāt have to be changed to āwomanā if you get what I mean. Also might want to look into marking capitalization of pronoun variables.
I am just a tad curious why the shortest height we can do is 5ā8. Is there a plot reason for the higher range of mc heights or do you think you can skew lower in the future (and put my 5ā1 heart at ease, all these inches scare me!)? Minor stuff though heheh.
All that aside, youāve got a punchy demo right off the bat, so while there are some fixes to be had, I think youāre already in a great starting position to make an awesome game! (And I am NOT just buttering you up so I can smooch Valor no matter how messed up he is and how much I should hate him heheheh) :3
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So far this is straight fire keep it up, I like the fact you make the characters word bold, god it makes so much easier to read lol
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glad you enjoyed it 
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Part of me is still figuring out how to use correct words for each gender so yeah it would take some time to fix but thanks for your insight also about the height i will probably add more customization option for mc also more personalized lines in future
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Damn bruh 
it ended,
I like this alot. Is there a chance for a wolverine/sabortooth branch? This wip is giving me that vibe plus i love bone claws my favorite is sabortoothās claws. Can you add more eye colors like yellow or purple?
awesome so far but krakens whole āif you kill me youll be just like meā speech was a little cheesy and on the nose. yeah, killing a psychopath like him while saving innocent folks means weāll be literally no different sure. if you kill all the killers minus yourself the number of killers dont remain the same do they? i say we shouldnt even get the choice to spare him, this aint the kind of setting where that would result in less death. sparing lesser grunts or people roped into the wrong places at the wrong time sure but we arent the batman type who would spare supervillains for āprinciplesā just so they get to kill tons of innocents when they inevitably breaks free later
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I really like this game!
I agree, his logic is weird and Iām not sure if the writer of the game intended that scene to make us reflect about our decisions.
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The people can complain but the league couldnāt even handle that guy and almost lost their members. He was never gonna change. If u spare him he will just kill more later. We should be able to ask if itās worth their conscience if body keeping dropping by his hands. We already know that we are a not good person but the difference is we only go after his gang. No one is clean in this story. With that guy gone the puppet masters influence has dropped a bit and has one less strong ally
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I think itād be kinda funny if using a cape ended up harming you like in the incredibles lol.
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Lol its the reason I refused a cape. All it takes someone grabbing it or it getting struck on something for things to wrong. Besides weāre not a hero or a villain. Itās just mask to settle the score with the agency that did the sick inhumane experiments on us
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