In New Cronaca’s city streets and back alleys, where corruption and ugly hearts fester and scramble over one another for the prize of innocents’ lives and well-being, in a city where the police prove impotent and private armies pick up the slack, where vice starts to rust minds so deeply that such struggles seem as life should always be. In this city, where life turns a blind eye to death, a vigilante is born.
Naturally, this responsibility falls to you.
Balance two identities as you embark on the journey of becoming an adult whilst spending your free time plunging your fists into the murky waters of New Cronaca’s underworld—where the ripples always seem to come back to you.
Play as male, female, or non-binary. Options to be straight, gay or bi-pan.
Choose your defining attribute and feel it influence your role as a vigilante and all the everydays in between. Are you brain or brawn? The thinker or the bruiser?
Experience a cast of characters from all over the city, control how you interact with them and shape your personality in the process.
Separate your identities. Do you smile behind the mask and frown without it? What top will you wear to work? And, when you fight crime, do you subscribe to the idea of a cape?
Build the beginnings of deep relationships with four featured characters throughout the story. A socially anxious delivery driver, your privileged and haughty co-worker, or a police officer knee deep in their work. And, of course, your best friend.
Wrestle with choice and consequence as you define not only only the story, but also the world’s first meaning of the word hero.
You’ve been burdened by this mask for so long; it’s about time you put it on.
This demo includes the first 155,000 words of the story.
As soon as I (Me, the author, J.J. Dove–Hello) work out how to use Tumblr, I’ll leave a link here.
I’m thinking weekly updates if you want to catch those, and I’ll be around for other activity in the interim.
Just a few things I’d appreciate you looking out for:
The dreaded spelling mistakes, obviously.
Pronoun errors, “she” instead of “he”, etc.
What you think might be formatting errors—sentences or paragraphs glued together when they should have a space, that kind of thing. Even if you’re unsure, don’t worry about sending it in! (I am paranoid)
Pages that you feel go on for too long (E.g without a ‘next button’) that need a break in the middle.
Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy!
[This project does not contain the output of Generative AI]
Woaaaah, already 155,000 words I am at the start but you did such a great job, it has great humor and the description are wonderful I love it (and the Ro’s sound fantastic ) I bookmarked your thread, and favorited your game
Just barely got started lol but wanted to say got a interesting store so far and will continue when i can just a few minor issues thus far with words and the like nothing game breaking though at this moment.
Excellent demo so far, the main character is fun to play and the supporting characters all feel real so well done with that. i did notice a few gender mistakes with a couple of the characters mostly the bestie using she/her instead of he/him. also Bodie is kind of a strange name to me
Won’t lie what really bummed me out is not being able to be a killer-vigilante, it would give room to show how people react to how vicious the vigilante is and create more diverse scenes
Though I am not a fan of first person IFs generally. This was still a good enough read for me to read through. Everyone seemed decently written and your available options were broad enough to where I rarely felt like I was forced to choose something I didn’t want to.
The social stuff was great so far, all the characters we have were great so far. The brief snippets we got to see from Lee and Redfern were great, and I’m definitely looking forward to Foster’s inevitable POV segment. Definitely invested in Foster’s friendship with the Vigilante, regardless of eventual romance or not.
The only criticism I have are moreso around the vigilante sections. The bits we have are great so far, but they also do feel like the least interactive portions of the demo we have so far. Can’t say too much for how focusing on Brawn in the opening will change my opinion, but I didn’t really feel that my character used Brain all that much during my initial playthrough - there was some emphasis on it before a fight, but during it, I kinda felt like most of the scenes boiled down to “punch guy” or “punch guy with surprise”. I didn’t really feel like the Vigilante was doing anything special with their Brain once it actually came time to fight. Maybe the Vigilante will get better at being stealthy as the story goes on, but it was a little disappointing to try and be Batman, only for things to inevitably devolve into just more straight up brute violence both times I attempted it.
I’m so glad to hear about the social stuff Getting the characters right was definitely my priority
As for the action–I want to get across that the MC is still very much amateur, so a lot of the time things quickly devolve into kicking and punching. Less so in the future.
But I will see I can flavour the action more brain or brawn, though.
Thanks for the picture–I hopefully should’ve fixed the formatting. Also I’m happy you were able to enjoy the first person perspective I know some people aren’t a fan but you’ve got to write what feels right, don’t you? haha
I like it! Reminds me of the Swashbuckler IF. Batman but reverse where you don’t have billion of dollars to burn and no bat cave because your just your average working guy.
I don’t know the extent of the Vigilante’s powers beyond bulletproof skin and superstrength, but I wouldn’t be opposed to the Vigilante being less durable/strong in exchange for something like enhanced senses if you chose Brain in the prologue. I think that would allow for more emphasis on the Brawn being a physical powerhouse by them being able to charge headlong into bullets, while the Brain leverages their superior awareness of the surroundings to avoid being shot in the first place. Daredevil vs Luke Cage.
Oh, and I suppose one more minor thing I noticed. The Vigilante doesn’t seem too nervous about either Redfern or Detective Lee recognizing them, despite the only thing protecting their identity being a pair of goggles and a hoodie. Maybe write more emphasis on the Vigilante changing their voice or attempting to hide their face during those scenes?
EDIT: Forgot to mention how much I loved slowly dredging up the Vigilante’s past even over the course of these few chapters. The scene with the comic books was awesome in a heartbreaking way (if such a way exists XD).
Awesome to hear how much you liked the heartbreaking moment lol!
I see where you’re coming from with the powers, and I’ve though about similar adjustments myself, but, unfortunately, the Vigilante having quite a ‘humble’ or basic, I guess, set of powers is quite intrinsic to their character. A scrappy underdog.
My aim is for brain and brawn to be vessles for how the MC applies their powers, rather than them define the powers themselves. And I’ll definitely try to strike some more clear differences for that.
You’re right about the secret idenity–I do want to lean in to the comic book logic of the little mask, but a line or two wouldn’t go amiss, for sure. I think I mentioned them changing their voice during the opening heist.
I’m loving this so much, and I find the quips we get to use hilarious. I’m so excited to see more, and wonder if we’ll get to meet other powered people (or maybe we already have? Dun dun dun)
Very well written and the story is genuinely great. But in the second chapter when you are reading through the contacts stored on the hard drive there is no way to progress the story. The passages loop for ever.
Edit: nevermind I reloaded a save and tried again and then it worked. Probably missed a contact.
I am at the start but you did such a great job, it has great humor and the description are wonderful 
I love it (and the Ro’s sound fantastic 
) I bookmarked your thread, and favorited your game 
Your kind words are very, very appreciated 
Getting the characters right was definitely my priority