Children of the Gods (Important poll #12306)

young-adult-fiction
heroic-fantasy
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#1

Hello! I started working on this story a few months ago, etching out the major plot lines/branches and details. It’s been more of a passion project than anything else. Here’s the basic stuff:

The premise:
You are a Demigod, the child of a member of the Trinity (Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades) and a mortal woman named Priscilla Angelis. You are also the reincarnation of the Essence, the most absolute and violent source of power in the Universe (or, in short: you are the Big Bang itself).

Just months shy of your 18th birthday, you are taken to the legendary Mount Olympus after years of being on the run from a mysterious organizaiton of hunters hell bent on catching you. Upon arrival, you realize that there’s more to the story than you had though; the Gods want you to help them in the battle against an ancient evil…but history repeats itself, and some members of the pantheon have a great distrust toward you. To appease the naysayers, you will participate in the Hero Trials, a series sof physical, mental, and moral obstacles that determines who is most worthy of the title Hero. If you succeed, you will be named a Hero of Olympus, like those before you (Hercules, Odysseus, Perseus, Achilles, etc) and be granted immortality by the Gods. If you succeed, you will also be the head of the Greek army in the effort to stop an unknown evil that threatens to conquer the world.

Along the way, you must learn invaluable skills, gain intel, form relationships, make moral choices, and uncover the mystery behind your origins.

The game is very character driven but also centered around your skills and relationships. I plan to give the MC a wide array of customization regarding appearance, personality and intelligence. Personality, especially, will impact your reactions to several situations.

What I need:
What I’m looking for are any questions (continuation wise or content-wise) that you have about the plot, the characters, the game itself. I know there’s a whole lot of information given in the first few chapters, so if you need further clarification, don’t hesitate to ask.

Playtest:
Link as of b:[/b] https://dashingdon.com/play/rohie/children-of-the-gods/mygame/

FAQ:


Older development thread (The Aegis Saga - Blood)
Choice of Rebels Part 1 WIP thread
Destiny of the Exile (WIP with Demo Updated Nov 24)
A Witch's Path (WIP)
Any recommended WIP interactive novels?
#2

TOO MUCH TEXT. NOT ENOUGH CHOICE. Which, for an intro, is OK, I guess, but I just skipped over it. Annoyed the Underworld out of me. :wink:


#3

@Rohie
I'm definitely going to have to second what Just_Because said. I would recommend putting some more of that intro into a reference, or otherwise optional section in the stats screen.


#4

@Just_Because @TheHund I was afraid of that. The history is in the stats screen, so I'l trim it out.

Edit:The history portion is now in the Status screen.


#5

I. Love. It! :smile:
I've just finished the Percy Jackson series and I'm just craving some more Greek god drama! You couldn't have more perfect timing!


#6

I really enjoyed this! As mentioned by others, there was a lot of text in between choices but I thought that was ok for the first chapter.

I liked how Poseidon acted towards the baby, it was...sweet? And I can tell that I'm gonna love/hate Athena; she seems like she would be a formidable opponent if we get on her bad side.
I can't wait to read more of this; it reminds me of the Percy Jackson books.
BTW, will there be any romance options?


#7

I'm working on trimming some of the text down, I see what you guys mean. Yikes.

The relationships with the Gods, especially Poseidon and Athena, will be so much fun to write and develop, mostly because they're both very complex characters. And I love the Percy Jackson series, it's what got me so intrigued by Greek Gods.

As for romance options, there will be three central ones that impact the plot in a huge way, and two hidden ones. I'm really excited to introduce them all. You've already met Avery, but in the next chapter I hope to introduce Calypso and Adonis.


#8

Ran into an error in the Stats page.

choicescript_stats line 5: Non-existent variable 'magician'

Haven't finished the intro yet though but looks pretty decent enough.


#9

Thank you! And I think the stats page should be working now.


#10

@Rohie - It is neat that you are bringing this forward. Since we are working on similar (yet different in key ways) projects, feel free to shoot me a pm or whatever to bounce things off or whatever.

I purposefully am avoiding reading your work at the moment because I do not want to be unduly influenced or for it to seem so in my work; this does not mean I don't like what your doing - I'm excited that another sees the same complexities and potential I do.

It appears your work is staying centered on the Greek mythology, whereas mine incorporates others such as Finish, and Persian but your enthusiasm for the subject material mirrors my own. Once our works are both more established I look forward to giving you direct feedback.

Athena is such a complex goddess with so many different aspects, it will be great seeing how you bring her to life.


#11

LOL, yeah, that’s forever gonna be my fav Greek god series of all time. Followed by the “Heros of Olympus” ones.


#12

I have to comment on this. Growing up I had a guardian and she was my Aunt Alice. :joy:


#13

I can't wait to play the full game.


#14

I really enjoyed what you have so far.


#15

I was wondering if the mc is gender locked or will we be able to choose our own gender


#16

Since it has already been mentioned about the walls of text, I will skip over that. Hmm but I will point out due to the nature of what you are presenting some information dump is needed.

You have a strong narrative and after the introduction the story does pick up pace and pulls you in. You actually got me anticipating your next update (I tend to be on the fence with Greek mythos, but you did a bang up job).

And yus! Phoenix as origin city /win

part3 line 89: Illegal mixing of spaces and tabs; this line has a tab, but there were spaces on line 88


#17

"Let us not temp fate."

tempt fate

"When the Gods are angry, they seem to communicate with morals through weather,"

with mortals

You write pretty well :blush: I had fun reading it.

I have the same issue as the others-- a lot of text, not a lot of choice. I'd suggest using page_break to make it easier to read.

Also a lot of people in the forums prefer to choose how their MC's feel about situations, not be told. I, personally, would have liked to be able to decide how I felt about being a demi-god. However, I feel like this game is more narrative based than most. Are you planning on having a set personality for the MC?


#18

It sounds very interesting I hope you stick with it.


#19

@Zeus I had a solid plot with a female MC, but now I plan on adding other genders as well with their own unique plots.

@Pace675 The intro/information that's spoon fed to you definitely needs a lot of work, in my opinion. Thank you for the feedback.

@iris Thank you for the feedback. I'll incorporate more choices into the first chapter and correct those mistakes. And I hadn't thought about the MC's feelings towards the Gods. That could be a really interesting variable to mess around with; especially with the upcoming introduction to the Gods. I don't plan to have a set personality for the MC after the childhood chapters, so I'm trying to incorporate more personality options.

@Misa101 Thank you, I'm very excited to continue.


#20

Am I the only one who wants to murder Saint? :skull:
I know we just met him, and further interaction with him will help us form a better understanding of his character and might make me like him more.
It doesn't help his case that he refers to releasing the mist, or using the mirror to turn invisible as attacking them.


I'm looking forward to getting away from Saints as much as possible in future updates. :slightly_smiling: