Born of Dust: Espien (Small Update 02/11/2017 - Check post 290 )


#1

Title changed from Life With ESP to The Gift:Uprising (Working Title)


Hi community

My first WIP is about Life With Extra Sensory Powers. Yes I know the P actually stands for perception but for my WIP its powers.

Brief outline of the story.
In the past the world government decided to fix a disease problem by blasting everything to kingdom come. The aftermath leaves the world in ruins. Around a hundred years later life has returned. (Yes I have heard, it sounds similar to Fallout. I’ve never actually played it or heard of it until I posted up my WIP so no, idea did not come from there). Anyway this is how you’ve been born with ESP. You choose to either grow up in a laboratory or with your family. The story branches out a bit for me to get to descriptive so please check it out and leave me some constructive feedback.

Thanks


UPDATE 12.APRIL.15
Continuing parts of age 10.
Added a few other achievements.
Fixed some grammar.
Fixed the training page at the beginning of age 10.
Moved relationship page back to stat screen.


UPDATE 10.MAR.15
Here’s what’s been updated so far.
Added more to the story for age 5.
Added a jargon page, a page listing mutated creatures and moved skills page within the stat menu.
I’ve added an unlock password that allows 2 extra ESP types to be picked in the beginning instead of just 3. (Total of 5).


Okay here’s my updated link

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/qtj9e1tnnwfggvd/The%20Gift_%20Uprising.html


Dungeon Crawler - WIP
Light in the Darkness
Which WIP would you bring back from the dead?
#2

This game is very interesting and it has already become one of my favorite games. Keep up the good work.


#3

The story line is cool and enjoyable ,keep it up


#4

Yes! I like this game.


#5

Different. While I am always weary around ESP/PSI-powers, I am OK if it is low-level stuff.

It is certainly different. :relaxed:

Sorry I can give much more helpful feedback, but I like what you have done so far.


#6

But only three powers? I wish to have telekinesis is more useful for a fight.


#7

Nice idea. Great twist about the testing.


#8

It’s really interesting so far. Two suggestions, though -

  1. I found the story much easier to get into once I was past the prologue. The prologue felt like a lot of information thrown at me at once, which wasn’t immersive and didn’t relate to me yet. You could work that background into the story, or hide the link to it in the stat screen, and it would feel like less of an overload.

  2. I am a fan of the occult, etc. but had to look up what Psychometry meant. For people not familiar with these powers, a short description in the option would be great. As it is, you choose the power before knowing what it does. When I chose telepathy I didn’t know whether I’d be able to read minds or just send brain-to-brain voicemails (it has a wider range of meanings than I think of for precognition.)

Enjoyed the intro, looking forward to the rest. :smile: This setting is really vivid - I can see what you’re describing. Oh, and Layla Harlow is the best preset name I’ve seen in awhile, this is the first time I’ve gone with the first preset option for a character name.


#9

As I went through it, I caught a mistake. One was the button that said “Your Gifted?”. I think you meant “You’re Gifted?”

Also, when we had to choose what ESP power we had, you immediately gave us choices. You did not inform me what each power did, so I had to random guess. I think you should put some kind of option to learn what kind of power each one is, and see if we want it or not.


#10

Liked it so far, I want to see where it’s going since it is for now too short to guess or judge. (although “watcher” games, where you are more like a spectator then in skin of MC aren’t my favorite, but hey, everyone has there tastes. )

I like ESP. Though I would like it if we had a possibility to use our powers sooner. Feels like you showed us a cake, said it, we can have it, and then put it on the top shelf were we can’t reach it and we are forced to eat a regular cookie. LOL
In place of just choosing our powers maybe include a scene were we first discover them? That would be a nice touch. And I agree with others that descriptions would be nice for choices or a are this your powers Yes(move one)/No(back to choosing) or something.

Anyway, Keep up the good work!


#11

I know this shouldn’t be my first thought but it is.
When will we get revenge on the coats?

(Faewks, best last name ever)


#12

I like the story so far. It’s interesting to see how it will progress. Begining reminded me of a Fallout :wink:


#13

i love this game its freaking amazing. I hope you will continue writing it. How old is jag and linn when you first meet them at 6.


#14

The idea is completely amazing


#15

Can you tell me the limits of each gift?


#16

Okay, first thing I thought when I started playing: Oh look, Fallout 3.
Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but be prepared that people are gonna notice it.


#17

As soon as you started talking about jumpsuits with an area code I instantly thought of Fallout :smirk:

Really nice introduction so far, looking forward to more! :grinning:


#18

Firstly, thanks to everyone who took the time to check it out and leave feedback. :blush:

@Abyss I had originally wanted to make other types available on a second play through. I thought everyone might be inclined to only pick telekinesis on a first play through for exactly that reason. Except im thinking more like pyrokinesis or electrokinesis as extended options.

@Sashira Thanks for that. I’ve expanded the stats menu to include the prologue instead along with other things. I’ve also added a brief description covering what each esp does now. :smile:

@lightdrago3 lol, thanks for picking up on that, I missed it. I’ve edited it now it reads “You’re”.

@dreamdragonhatchling I like that idea of adding in a scene as part of choosing your powers so I’ll see if I can plan out some good scenarios.

@faewkless patience my friend, revenge is coming :smile:

@eqs189 Jag and Linn are about 12 yrs old when you’re 6.

@ChimeraLord I will add that into the choosing gift section :smile: limitations will change as your skills grow.

@mika_ce, @blackrising and @Flux im going to have to check out what this fallout thing is, I honestly don’t know lol.


#19

I really like what you have so far


#20

Love it can’t wait can’t wait for more. I like how you took something with a base like esp and expanding in it and making it your own in a way. Like the power options that we have so far. Can’t wait till we get to explore them more