Title changed from Life With ESP to The Gift:Uprising (Working Title)
Hi community
My first WIP is about Life With Extra Sensory Powers. Yes I know the P actually stands for perception but for my WIP its powers.
Brief outline of the story.
In the past the world government decided to fix a disease problem by blasting everything to kingdom come. The aftermath leaves the world in ruins. Around a hundred years later life has returned. (Yes I have heard, it sounds similar to Fallout. I’ve never actually played it or heard of it until I posted up my WIP so no, idea did not come from there). Anyway this is how you’ve been born with ESP. You choose to either grow up in a laboratory or with your family. The story branches out a bit for me to get to descriptive so please check it out and leave me some constructive feedback.
Thanks
UPDATE 12.APRIL.15
Continuing parts of age 10.
Added a few other achievements.
Fixed some grammar.
Fixed the training page at the beginning of age 10.
Moved relationship page back to stat screen.
UPDATE 10.MAR.15
Here’s what’s been updated so far.
Added more to the story for age 5.
Added a jargon page, a page listing mutated creatures and moved skills page within the stat menu.
I’ve added an unlock password that allows 2 extra ESP types to be picked in the beginning instead of just 3. (Total of 5).
It’s really interesting so far. Two suggestions, though -
I found the story much easier to get into once I was past the prologue. The prologue felt like a lot of information thrown at me at once, which wasn’t immersive and didn’t relate to me yet. You could work that background into the story, or hide the link to it in the stat screen, and it would feel like less of an overload.
I am a fan of the occult, etc. but had to look up what Psychometry meant. For people not familiar with these powers, a short description in the option would be great. As it is, you choose the power before knowing what it does. When I chose telepathy I didn’t know whether I’d be able to read minds or just send brain-to-brain voicemails (it has a wider range of meanings than I think of for precognition.)
Enjoyed the intro, looking forward to the rest. This setting is really vivid - I can see what you’re describing. Oh, and Layla Harlow is the best preset name I’ve seen in awhile, this is the first time I’ve gone with the first preset option for a character name.
As I went through it, I caught a mistake. One was the button that said “Your Gifted?”. I think you meant “You’re Gifted?”
Also, when we had to choose what ESP power we had, you immediately gave us choices. You did not inform me what each power did, so I had to random guess. I think you should put some kind of option to learn what kind of power each one is, and see if we want it or not.
Liked it so far, I want to see where it’s going since it is for now too short to guess or judge. (although “watcher” games, where you are more like a spectator then in skin of MC aren’t my favorite, but hey, everyone has there tastes. )
I like ESP. Though I would like it if we had a possibility to use our powers sooner. Feels like you showed us a cake, said it, we can have it, and then put it on the top shelf were we can’t reach it and we are forced to eat a regular cookie. LOL
In place of just choosing our powers maybe include a scene were we first discover them? That would be a nice touch. And I agree with others that descriptions would be nice for choices or a are this your powers Yes(move one)/No(back to choosing) or something.
Okay, first thing I thought when I started playing: Oh look, Fallout 3.
Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but be prepared that people are gonna notice it.
Firstly, thanks to everyone who took the time to check it out and leave feedback.
@Abyss I had originally wanted to make other types available on a second play through. I thought everyone might be inclined to only pick telekinesis on a first play through for exactly that reason. Except im thinking more like pyrokinesis or electrokinesis as extended options.
@Sashira Thanks for that. I’ve expanded the stats menu to include the prologue instead along with other things. I’ve also added a brief description covering what each esp does now.
@lightdrago3 lol, thanks for picking up on that, I missed it. I’ve edited it now it reads “You’re”.
@dreamdragonhatchling I like that idea of adding in a scene as part of choosing your powers so I’ll see if I can plan out some good scenarios.
Love it can’t wait can’t wait for more. I like how you took something with a base like esp and expanding in it and making it your own in a way. Like the power options that we have so far. Can’t wait till we get to explore them more
This setting is really vivid - I can see what you’re describing. Oh, and Layla Harlow is the best preset name I’ve seen in awhile, this is the first time I’ve gone with the first preset option for a character name.
