Hello everyone, this is just an update for everyone who were wondering what the hey’ck ever happened to this thread. This is also for those who sent/asked me via DM / PM / email / etc.
This game is a fantasy game about the care of some dragon lizards.
Here was my previous post regarding the game’s status. (Please read the posts thank you and you all have a good day)
The game status is complete in a sense which is why I have removed the game’s demo from the public. It is currently on a hiatus until I am able to save the funds I need to pay for the editor.
“The house is surrounded by bushes and a large tree with a swing is on the front lawn.”
There is a mistake in this sentence, the ‘is’ and ‘on’.
I suggest:
“The house is surrounded by bushes and a large tree with a swing that sat on the front lawn.”
Or…
“The house is surrounded by bushes and a large tree with a swing on the front lawn.”
If you want to be more creative then…
“The house is surrounded by these prickly bushes and a large tree attached with a basic old looking swing nestled in the front yard, as they swayed along with the howling night winds.” Or a least something along those lines. But it is up to you.
Note: I am not a professional author
The house looked like a small dome with a dark wood door that has a circular clear glass in the center. The windows are shaped like portholes without the metal ring. The surface of the house looked like it’s made of gravel. The house is surrounded by bushes and a large tree with a swing is on the front lawn.
I suggest:
" “Hi,” Logan cautiously greeted with a yawn."
Or
" “Hi,” Logan cautiously greeted as a yawn followed after. "
Or along those lines, up to you.
Found this bit of repetitiveness. It occurred after I defended Bastian in class, all the interactions with him after that were him defending MC, so I’m assuming the former line of dialogue is correct rather than the latter.
Then later
finally, I got an error after meeting the elder in the classroom when Bastien asked about other races: phase_4 line 370: Non-existent variable ‘d_shift_g’
That said, I like it so far. The world and characters are interesting. Hope to see more of this project in the future
Thanks for the vote of confidence for the game. @RedRoses
Everything is still a draft so do expect wording or spelling errors from time to time, but I really appreciate the wording errors you’ve encountered. @Dan_Mane I’ll ask my partner in crime to fix those.
@Owlet I drew it myself, but surfed the net to find some dragon models. Until my partner can make a cover art, that cover is only a temporary thing.
Those are error thanks for locating them @Bootsykk. I’m glad you’re enjoying the world we created.
@Elimajor I was afraid of that scene actually, I’m glad @Aera was the one who made it and glad you’ve enjoyed the game so far.
Oh, I can only mention two users because I’m a new member whoops.
Fixed that because it sounds annoying. If you want help trying to recall the name of your last account just holler. (There’s a handy search feature though so if you can even remember any threads you posted on or whatnot.)
The game sounds fun. Good luck with it. I can’t play it in case I end up stealing all of the ideas.
Anyway, this is a great interactive story. It has potential, much potential, I hope to see your progress in the future. I will actually keep an eye on this. Hope you do good and justice to this mighty interactive story.
There are a bit of repetitiveness in the story and such.
Hope you have an awesome day and best hopes to your future works!
Suggestion:
-When asking questions, I wish to know how much we can ask and what question that could make the chat end completely and switch to a new one in the story.
@FairyGodfeather So much has changed, I’ve been here from 2012, but stopped. I forgot what threads or what user name I previously used. I’m sorry. I don’t mind if you steal some ideas since @Aera was a little touchy when we we’re creating this, she did mention a baby dragon game already here that she booked marked it. I played it and am very addicted to it, but didn’t necro it because it might get closed even if I’m dying for the smelly baby dragon. I begged her and threatened her with chocolates to make this game with me.
@Dan_Mane Thank you, thank you. I’ll have to re-read them and send the corrected ones. Oh, the questions are intended to stop at a certain number because it limits the time when you’re traveling. Like when you talked with your brother Logan about your first day in school, you’ll eventually reach the school so it has a limit. While talking with Amber, you only have thirty minutes before Yusef and Logan gets you.
Lols Are you saying that I’m dead? Yeah just send me what you want fixed and I’ll fix it. Bah, I thought we made a deal not to release this yet until one of us finds an available editor?
My excuse is that I was controlled by evil forces to post it! @Aera I love you!
@JTAL Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed the game though I would need to re-read before the update.
@Kronos I missed choice of dragons, so I’ve decided to make one even if I had to annoy someone to code for me hehehe. Happy to hear you’re having fun with this.
"Bastian didn’t sneer at you as you pass him. You hear him tell your other classmates to stop harassing you and Amber. Surprised you tried to talk to him, but he quickly walks away. Bastian also sneered at you as you pass him, he told your other classmates to stay away from you and Amber or they could catch your stupidity. Angered you tried to talk to him, but he quickly walks away. Beatrice frowned as she passed by you. You hear her tell your other classmates to avoid you because you’re dirty. Laughing with her friends, she quickly walks away. "
It says Bastian doesn’t sneer, but later on it says he does sneer. Is this a mistake or intentional?
Keep up the great work! ^^ @honeymichie, i really enjoyed playing as a girl.
Of course with a secret crush on her non real brother/ Lougan. Will he be a RO option? In the future? since their not even blood related and all which I am soooooo glad for.
Either way excellent work And i cant wait for more.
