Blood Moon Prophecy (WIP)


#1

Hello, I made this game for the CScomp . The competition is finished and you can check the winners. There is an open discussion about the games passed for the CScomp. You can make general comments there about the games if the game has no open topics yet from the authors “CScomp discussion thread

I was told that the game was very interesting and because some people were showing interest I decided to continue this game. This is not my first game, my first game is called Drágóneer you can check that if you want.


Game synopsis: It was discovered that people who possess strange mental powers are called Psyconic. These individuals suffered nightmares and were attuned to the negative emotions of the people around them, as a result they unconsciously harm the people around them.

As part of the special task force Psyconic Investigation and Removal Agents, your job is to contain or eliminate Psyconic individuals to stop them from harming people.


@Aera and @M-D-M are the only people who can post updates and/or changes with my game/s. They are my co-author, partner and anything they say goes. Thanks everyone.

Working game link: Blood Moon Prophecy


I’ll post an update about two weeks from now…


Best WIPs - 2015
Tall tale of Draigs (WIP) formerly known as Drágóneer (WIP)
#2

The demo is great so far.


#3

Really good demo, keep it up


#4

I like the premise. Here’s a few thoughts:

’ …a man with light brown hair and dark brown eyes wearing a pair of dark green cargo pants and a dark blue T-shirt holding a clipboard intercepted you as you entered the building.’

I might lay off describing the color of something unless it’s important to the story. I think this may be weighing your prose down a bit. In general, I think there’s just a bit too much description going on here. Your readers don’t strictly need to know what he’s wearing in this scene. (though sometimes its important to mention, for setting a scene or whatever.) At least, not to this extent.

oOo

’ …the Psyconic Investigation and Removal Agents.’

It’s a bit of a mouthfull. I think this needs a witty acronym.

… ‘PI-RA’? Maybe not. I dunno, I’d just play with, see what you can come up with.

oOo

Drake smiled. “Oh forgot to tell you my full name.” He chuckled. “Drake Reed at your service.” He stood. “Follow and I’ll take you to your boss.”

I think you meant to put ‘follow me’ instead of just ‘follow’

oOo

“See that man?” Drake pointed to a man who was talking to another man. “That man is your boss.

I’m noticing a lot of repetition in your prose. I’d be careful about that. You’ve got 4 used of the word ‘man’ in fairly quick succession. I don’t believe constantly looking up different words to use is always the right thing, but a little variety never hurt. I’d play with these sentences to see if you can find a way to avoid saying ‘man’ so much.

oOo

Steve didn’t comment, but glared at Garret. “Ace, you file here says you don’t know how to use a gun.”

You probably meant ‘your’ instead of ‘you’ there.

oOo

“What is a muzzle?” You asked as you watch Tyler grabbing some guns.

Earlier in the story I picked the option that suggested my character at least knew the basics of guns. Shouldn’t he know that?

oOo

“You can’t eat inside my office.” “Okay, your mission for today is simple.”

These sentences are side by side. They shouldn’t be given separate quotes.

oOo

That’s all I got on this play through. It’s an interesting setup, though I’m disappointed I didn’t get to see more of what these psychic(?) people are. I think the prose could use a little work. I saw a lot of repetition with words, and sentences didn’t always sound totally natural, but you could still easily patch all that up during editing.


#5

@Shawnheatherly @Damille_Peace Thanks

@OdicHastings Thanks for the suggestion.


I have added something for the first game link and the second link is pending. It’s not the update yet, but some reminders. Thank you.


#6

Just started the game, because of your mini bio in the begining for a second I thought we were playing as you and I was like “well that’s an interesting concept that I’ve never seen or thought of before” :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Thought you guys might get a kick out of my stupidity


#7

Well this is an interesting premise, while I’m also curious on which direction you’ll take it.


#8

@alliebee That would be funny, me as the main character.

@ninja6398 The direction that I’ll take is the right direction, I hope.


#9

Allure… This stat confuses me. Like, the Nurse has a decent amount, the vet has a HUGE amount… and no one else has any worth mentioning… Why exactly are domesticated animal doctors so alluring? :stuck_out_tongue:


#10

@Shoelip Mwahaha my twisted logic? Lols, Nah, I did that because animals
are more sensitive to humans and well vets has this allure to animals that
the animals feel secure with them. Nurses are slightly because not all
nurses have that allure factor. Sometimes instead of feeling secure you
actually fear the nurse. I’m thinking of adding more professions, but I’m
not sure what to add at this point.


#11

As Yakko and Wakko would say, “Hello Nurse!” :slight_smile:


#12

That’s definitely an exceptionally subjective reasoning there. :stuck_out_tongue: I feel like you must not have had many pets, or many vets. It all depends on the pet and the vet. Just like how the bedside manner of nurses varies along with patients’ reaction to them. Maybe I just don’t understand it though, I mean, does Allure actually do?


#13

@Grapefruit if the nurse really is a buxom blonde as Yakko and Wakko says
then feel free to say “Hello Nurse”

@Shoelip I have primarily my guide dogs and I only visit one vet that I got
used too. Nurses are a hit and miss for me. Some seem nice while others are
just annoyed that you’re sick. Allure is used to attract or enticement
someone, it can also be used to make other people give you what you want if
you charm them lols.


#14

I like what you have so far. I wish there was more.


#15

Huh… Guide dogs? Are you blind?


#16

@Silverstone Thanks the update is on July 20, I’ll add more content and
other stuff.

@Shoelip Yes, I am partly blind.


#17

Ah, man I see. It’s cool how much modern technology has advanced access to stuff for people with impaired senses. I was watching Daredevil on Netflix and he had this cool thing for reading stuff off his computer where he’d select a line to read and a bunch of nubs would pop out to form the letters in braille. At the time I was like “Oh wow, that’s so cool!” Although it seems obvious now that someone would make something like that.


#18

@Shoelip yup, there are options for text readers for easy navigation.
Still, it’s still not the same as people who aren’t visually impaired.
There are things that I can never really understand with a description or a
touch.

Well anyway guys, suggestions on how I can abbreviate or any suggested
abbreviated name for the “Psyconic Investigation and Removal Agents” I’ve
hit a wall on this one hehehe thanks guys.


#19

I think the acronym PIRA sounds and looks fine. I mean, it might remind some people of pirate, but that’s not really a problem.


#20

I guess PIRA sounds okay, thanks for the suggestion.