In this case I think it’s OK since the author himself has said that he’ll change it if there’s enough interest (so presumably it’s good feedback to make that interest known), but it pays to be aware that generally, there’s a rule against discussing gender-locking in WIP threads. 
As for feedback for the game itself, I agree that unfortunately it’s a bit difficult to read as it is now. I don’t really think there’s a quick fix here, but you might find it helpful to run the text through an online spellchecker and grammar editor, which should at least take care of the typos, unnecessary spaces after punctuation, etc.
The history seems a little all over the place, as well — it’s the year 1713 (the Age of Exploration is generally regarded as lasting from the 15th to 17th centuries, by the way) but Elizabeth is queen? Shouldn’t it be Anne?
Finally, one bit about game design: here, you give the player the choice to run away, but if they choose this it turns out that they can’t do it after all. This is very frustrating and I recommend you avoid doing this sort of thing with choices (moreover, the narration nearly seems to be critcizing the player’s choice — “what, you thought of running away? What are you, a monster?”).
In general, it’s better to not have any choice at all rather than to choose Option B only to find out that nope, we’re doing Option A instead.
I do think this concept has a lot of potential, and I certainly hope you’ll develop the idea into a great game. 
Good luck!