World Institute for Superpowered People: Episode One

This game is still on hiatus, but I’m currently converting it to Twine. It can be played here, but there’s no new content yet in comparison to the version that was written on CS.

UPDATE: This game was abandoned. Some of its ideas were brought to Unsupervised.

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So you’re telling me that one of my favourite authors on this site is making a game on one of my favourite genres?

yey.

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I for one am especially excited that you’re focusing a little more on character relationships this time round!

There’s just so much room for us to find out just how these kids will grow along with powers that may be more than what they should handle.

The mysterious aura surrounding certain characters really do intice me. ( Why you so moody Thelma? )

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I really like this. Good job!

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Uploading…
Why is the Temple called that?”
“Even if they were full-fledged criminals, who were you to judge them?”
“You’re the kid I didn’t kill.”

So far, this is really good for a first chapter. I’m hyped as hell. A lot cleaner than War for the West and just as well-written if not more so.

The twist at the end got me good too. It’s just so out of the left field and at the same time hilarious.

My only gripe is there’s not enough potential female ROs which I doubt is actually going to be a problem considering this is only the first chapter.
Also, KC RO hype

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This is good so fare can’t wait for more

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Typo:

on should be own.

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I really like it!

A few spelling errors I forgot to take notes of, there’s also this.
Capture
Called mom’s cell, got dads voicemail, called dads and got moms.

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Error/Mistakes

Then you could hear her worries in your mind, despites the constant and reassuring smiles she gave you.

despite

“Son… Your mother than I need to talk to you about your… abilities.” Said Edgar, struggling with the words.

and

"That’s why we invited a man here. A very smart man whom we once attended to a lecture of during college.

It might just be me but the sentence sounds bit “unpolished” and could be rephrased in a better way…

It would take a while to explain them, but if you choose to accept my invitation you will learn in detail what I can do. I have a tradition of showing the students that their my first class with me."

This one too

"It’s a pretty board term, but it basically describes human beings who manifest abilities beyond the normal capacities of the species.

broad

their?

He did. During the extensive conversation with your parents, Professor Roberto explained that, despise relations with the federal authorities not being on bad terms, it was dangerous to let a vehicle full of superpowered children remain for too long in one place.

despite

“And don’t forget to call us as soon as you arrive to let we know you are okay.” Says your mother.

us

“Move symbol three times to solve the puzzle. Jump the platform. Shoot enemy on the left. Collect bag of gold.” His toughs are fast and unpaused.

thoughts

“Let me help you, then: “Sorry about bothering you, I’ll be leaving now.” Here. Considered it said. Now get lost.”

Ouch! That hurt :laughing: Anyhow here’s correction consider

There are plenty of students, some wearing plain clothes, others showing a wide variation of what appears to be an uniform of the Institute in white and blue.

a and before anyone “corrects” me first please see this link for info :point_down:

https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/4700/is-it-a-uniform-or-an-uniform&ved=0ahUKEwjDvOjgwYbWAhWMKY8KHe-KB4UQFggkMAA&usg=AFQjCNGPuukLDPRSdxfcWHBMVqqlap7w1Q

It’s gives you a strange, disorientating feeling. You can’t tell exactly who are the people the thoughts belong to, and you try to instead focus on the show in order to avoid the confusion.

it

and instead you try to focus on the show

She has a straight ginger hair short on the front and long on the sides, and wears a yellow shirt which says “If you’re reading this, it means my plans failed” in black.

:joy::joy: Does she really have ‘a’ hair!?? Sorry :pray: did not mean to mock your writing but I found it rather amusing anyhow No need for a there hope you won’t be offended :v::sweat_smile:

You look around for a while, but you just see unknown people celebrating, either enjoying the show or and talking amongst themselves in small groups.

or

Umm I think you confused Dad and Mom’s cell voicemails

“First of all, as we are about to talk about powers, I think it’s only fair that I tell you a little about mine.”

It sounds too messy grammatical-y

While he talks, he makes a crude drawing of a figure not managing to avoid the bullets that are going to hit it - even thought they have ripples behind them, simulating that the scene is occurring during a “bullet time” effect.

Though

He had tried to mock K.C. at first, taunting it for it looks, but the creature didn’t even acknowledge him.

it’s

It was only when Bruce got bored and decided to truly attack it that “That Which Slumbers” look at him, its tentacles moving but its mouth unspeaking.

looked/looks

“Excuse me, Professor, but I won’t I fight anyone?”

No need for the bold I

“I store energy inside my body. Then I can burn it, redistributing the excess an enhancing my physique with it.”

and

The dealers, the hired guns, the henchmen, the people looking to prove themselves… I justified by actions by rationalizing that they deserved it because they carried weapons and attacked me, but I did not had the time nor the skills to find the truth about each and every one of them.

my

. It’s strange, because you theoretically are just some kind of astral projection, but this feel as if it were real life, probably because he wants to.

Feels/felt

"They are a natural biologic response. It’s your mind telling your body you’re receiving an unwanted visitor.

Biological

Cool Game you are one of my favorite authors around here and I really loved Highlands :grin:

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Awesome game. I love it so far. All the characters are really interesting and the art-work is rad. Johan in particular is my favorite character by far. I really find him to be interesting. Can’t wait for the next update! I did notice a few errors. When Thelma, beach boy, and radio head get into a fight and I select the “if this is a problem are we in math” option. They say “her” instead of “she” on the next page.

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Can you win the first fight

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Not from what I’ve seen :disappointed:

Great story so far though! :smiley:

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Professor Vincenzo AKA Bruce Wayne AKA Batman

Summary

bcfdcded805b95725adbad11a8704180--profile-pictures-super-batman

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Found some mistakes

Summary

And

Should be won’t I fight

And

Us

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If you read your S.I.D.E.K.I.C.K. during the battle with Metaman, you can read updated ‘spoilery’ information about some of your classmates. And some of my favorite characters so far will die horribly! :anguished::pensive: I’m actually glad you’re planning to go there - and foreshadowing/spoiling character deaths early on is always an interesting strategy. I really like the desperate, last stand feel of that battle. A dark superhero story looks like its going to be really good (I started reading your Highlands, Deep Waters but had to stop 'cause it was 2am and I wasn’t ready to be that spooked…). I like how you’re weaving in the mind-reading ability and the little extra snippets I’ve gotten from that so far (I want my private lessons with Lance!)

A bug: When I set the S.I.D.E.K.I.C.K. personality to anti-hero and go to grades, I see the anti-hero description AND the butler description below it. On the butler setting, there’s nothing extra on that page.

Also, I like the idea of having the game assign me a name (that’s how it works irl, and keeps me from naming myself something too similar to another character), but could I suggest a different default female name? As far as I can tell, Adrian is almost always a boy’s name.

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I love the writing style and the names everyone has.

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Snap, now that, that guy’s identity is revealed, will we fight for him to be safe in the institute.
Or will we throw him to the wolves so to speak, and what repucusions will be caused because of our actions.
By the way for some reason I’d like to try to have a romance with venue, I don’t know why maybe it has to do with this rebelious, bad girl attitude that I like. Lol.
:smirk:
That’s all I got for now. Oh I almost forgot how does changing the personality for the SIDEKICK matter, that’s all. Hope that was good fedback for you.

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“You didn’t really had a choice before, so I won’t hold it against you either. I wonder what kind of deviations you will promote now. Things might be interesting.”

“You didn’t really have a choice before”

The glass panel around you descends on its on

descends on it’s own

You lived on an orphanage for the first years of your life.

You lived in an orphanage

from purposely appearing dirty an acting weird in front of the visitors to simply avoiding their view completely.

appearing dirty and acting werid

Then Sister Anne came, took the remote and changed to the educational channel.

and changed it to the educational channel

Mr and Misses…

Mr and Mrs

Then you snook out to the stairs in order to hear their conversation.

Then you snuck out

I have a tradition of showing the students that their my first class with me."

that they’re in my first class

No. It’s the completely opposite, Xavier

It’s the complete opposite

Enroll/Don’t Enroll on the the World Institute for Super-powered Persons

Enroll/Don’t Enroll in

Professor Roberto seems quite happy with your decision, and your parents look both relief and anxious at the same time.

your parents look both relieved and anxious

It has the looks of a state-of-the-art smartphone made from some kind of translucent material. Carved on it you can see a symbol that reminds you of the number eight, but rotated 90 degrees.

Wouldn’t it be better if you said it resembles the infinity symbol rather than a rotated eight?

We have a long trip ahead of us. I’m sure Professor Roberto informed that we must stay on the move."

Professor Roberto informed you that

Professor Roberto explained that, despise relations with the federal authorities not being on bad terms

Professor Roberto explained that, despite relations

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Oh my god, Kid Cthulhu “fwear me and dispwear”

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Found this when I surfed the code:

*if (fireManipulation)
“$!{kid} Who Brings Winter…”
*goto against

Pretty sure it’s supposed to be ice.

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