WIP Tales of the Deep


#1

Hi all, I’ve uploaded a demo of my game. It’s still very much a work in progress and would appreciate any feedback or grammar correction anyone would like to give me. I’ve written more but it starts to get messy after this as some choices will be written and some wont so I haven’t included it in the demo so far. It should work up to the part where the chieftan asks you to make a choice. I hope the link works (tried to follow the dropbox instructions on the site) If not just let me know :slight_smile: Thanks in advance!

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/encnice6ec388f7/Tales%20of%20the%20Deep(2).html?dl=0

(Edited for new link)


Bad reviews and moving forward or getting out
#2

hello!
(ill update this as i play through what you have so far )
-“Couldn’t load scene ‘intoweather’ The file doesn’t exist.” when choosing to continue on instead of going out to sea
-"Couldn’t load scene ‘enddead’ The file doesn’t exist. when choosing to head on
-“choicescript_stats line 4: Non-existent variable ‘leadership’” when trying to go to the stat screen


#3

Oh no sorry must be something wrong with how I’ve compiled the story. Sorry about that, will let you know when I can work out why it’s not working. (works when saved on the computer but you’re right as soon as it tries to skip to another file it’s jamming).


#4

Ok I think this has it working now (I hope!)

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/encnice6ec388f7/Tales%20of%20the%20Deep(2).html?dl=0


#5

(By the way the stats button still wont work as I’m not using stats in this story. Not sure how to get rid of the button though. Anyone know?)


#6

Try deleting the choicescript_stats.txt from the scenes folder.


#7

Nice game so far. I actually haven’t played through every available part yet. I think I died / got a bad end. >_>; Anyway. There were a few grammatical errors and spelling errors. Well, only one spelling error that I could see.

At the summary / page 1 / paragraph 1: I would read over the paragraph a few times, as it may need some commas.

Paragraph 3, line 7: Is it supposed to be “into the first rays of dawn”? ouo

Paragraph 4, line 2: “casing” is spelled “caseing”.

It seems interesting, so I’ll play the rest later. Good job, and good luck. c:


#8

So far the story seems to branch a lot. Is this going to continue like this (lots of work)?
Also, will there be PC customization or will it be more à la “For rent: haunted House”?


#9

I love your writing style and the story so far. Can’t wait for more Tales of the Deep. :smile:


#10

Thanks everyone for the feedback, help and encouragement!
Rock Whisperer: Unfortunately for me, this is turning out to be a lot more work than I was originally planning, it has a fair bit of branching and yep is lots of work. (Probably should have started with something a bit simpler but too late now. It should get there eventually I hope :slight_smile: )
Sorry I’m a bit new to this I’m not quite sure what the PC customization is?


Which game do you like more? Ensign Redshirt, Tales of the deep, dragon based sequel to Wizardry Level C
#11

Careful not to tire yourself out then!
and PC= Player Character, so it’d be stuff like gender, name, or stats, and if you’re feeling extra fancy, race/looks (as in Tin Star or Choice of the Vampire)


#12

Oh right thanks!
I wasn’t planning on it at the moment (haven’t accounted for it in the script so far, started writing it in the style of the choose your own adventure books I used to read when I was younger). I’ve written more of the story than it currently in the demo. I think it might be tricky to add it in at this stage unless it’s just at a very superficial level at the start which I’m not sure will add to the story much. I noticed a lot of games do include it though that makes it quite fun, if not in this one I might have a go at including it in another game in the future.
The amount of story line branches may not have been the best idea for a first project. I’ve been working on it on and off for quite a while with a few breaks when I get a bit stuck or busy, but it’ll get there eventually :slight_smile: Thanks again for the help