Survivors (WIP DEMO)


#1

Hey everybody! I’m new to this board, but I’ve been working to make my own Choice of Game for quite a while now.

After a few throw-away plots I think I’ve found a winner.

If you could tell me if the writing could use work (it’s the rough draft, so be as mean as you like :wink: ), or notify me on any inconsistencies or glitches, that’d be awesome.

Here’s the link:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/61269810/web/index.html

Thanks a lot!

GreenRover


#2

@GreenRover Nice game so far! Only one or two things that bugged me really: Sometimes you switched from present tense to past tense, and back again. It seems the majority of the game is in the past tense. Also, when Michael asks your name, there isn’t any prompt telling you if you should put a first name, or last name, or both. Perhaps (if I could make a suggestion) you could have Michael just give his first name, to which you give yours; then later, when you’re safe from the Dragon, you can sort of reflect back on who you are - giving a last name, profession, et cetera.


#3

Might want to rename it and write (WIP) at the end of your discussions name, the flow could use work at the start, it’s a little bit too fast, slow it down with being more discriptive.
and the choice of words is good. Enjoyed it so far


#4

The PC seems to be a rather heavy sleeper.


#5

@Prototype what’s wrong with the name? That’s actually what attracted me to it in the first place


#6

no the name is fine he should just add WIP on the end to let people know that its a work in progress and that it is a game not a random discussion


#7

Ohhh gotcha!


#8

I like it a was just wondering what could have destroyed the city, aliens?, a robot?, military. But a dragon… Good choice.
Also with entering your name, it might be good to add if you must write your first or alst name or both


#9

@FortunesFaded
Thanks for the advice! I’ll go over the writing before getting too far into the game.

@Prototype
Is it possible to change the title of your discussion?
You’re right: I do need to slow down the pace. Thanks!


#10

If you want the title of your discussion changed I can do it. It’s in the WIP topic area mind you, so if you want WIP DEMO in the title too that’s optional. It can help give you feedback for people to know that the post has a demo in it though, since lots of folk like playing things.


#11

@FairyGodfeather
Thanks a lot!

If you could change it to “Survivors (WIP DEMO)” that’d be awesome.

Thanks again,
GreenRover


#12

So I will we be able to chose the MCs appearance and or gender and if not it might be a good idea to give us a clearer picture of the mc


#13

There you go!


#14

@FairyGodfeather
Thanks!

@All
Thanks for the tips!

GreenRover


#15

Great game so far. I thought it was going to be another zombie game until I was happily surprised by a dragon :slight_smile: keep up the good work your doing great.


#16

Yup agreed @storm
@Greenrover glad to see that you stayed off the mainstreams


#17

Dragon did not see that coming. So is it fantasy meets modern day, or just dragons?
@Storm I wasn’t thinking zombies since there was a huge emphasis in fire.


#18

Plot twist: the dragon is a zombie


#19

@ninja6398, and @Prototype I was thinking that because of the name, the fire, and the dude trapped screaming help me who could have easily been bitten by a zombie. But of course because I’m so nice I helped him before asking what happened.

@PORT3R two words: mind blown :open_mouth:


#20

Great now we have zombie dragons. We’re all going to die in the game now.