Poisoning the steel mind -a wip


#1

First of all thanks to @AlexCosarca to host my demo and his help. If i have a pc probably will be almost ended but i dont have pc is coded by hand without text editors and auto test. The demo has a lot of errors but i post it with the hope some one like it and want to help to plasm in choicescript because i cant do it alone.
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/95587456/Mara%20SDK/index.html


#2

Why is the hermaphrodite automaticaly a sterile girl and then you die? Why can’t it be a choice between identifying as a male hermaphrodite and then die? Or not die at all by finding a way to escape? Discrimination against the third sex XD. It’s awesome there is finally a herm choice in one of these games though.


#3

I’m afraid English not being your native language will prove to be a terrible disadvantage in this endeavour.


#4

its good the style looked nice how did u change the color of the text???/ i only know how to change the background


#5

yeah there were some mistakes but it made sense to me. i do not care about the spelling and all in a story i just look for a story line so urs is pretty good


#6

Thanks @Drazen for your support? Or critic I do what i can i try to see people who yelling about no natives write a game in another lenguage also i need a editor


#7

Really nobody give me any feedback? Moderators please close this post X(


#8

Give it time.


#9

I like the background of the story, it is a cruel world and it seems that main character will have the option to fit in to that world or to fight against it…what is something that I really appreciate

It’s hard to judge from a short demo, only the future will show how the final game will look like. Your English is a disadvantage but I think you can overcome it. If not by yourself then with help of others.


#10

I agree with @ViliamFiedler
Plus, futuristic worlds always seem to have an interesting catch-some sort of harsh reality or cruel secret-which is always something I like in a game or story.
And what do you mean by editor, as in you want someone to go over your grammar and spelling? I wouldn’t mind helping with that, being a native English speaker myself.


#11

Yes @LOR an editor and maybe someone with a pc to do the autotest i habe to try error by myself all the variables


#12

I agree that some editing by a native English speaker would do a world of good, but that aside, I absolutely love the concept! Is the game going to focus on the test to determine if we live or die, or is there more after that? Either way, it’s a very interesting civilization that you have. I look forward to exploring it more. :slight_smile:


#13

The demo continue before the first exam until the second when you discover your power adquire the inmortality and choose your name.
The game will have 3 principal paths and very long probably 1000 years of Pangea time.


#14

It seems pretty interesting so far I like games in futuristic settings.
Also I found an error when I picked the option that I was stressed for the test.
And another when I ran from the pig guy.


#15

Yes i got problems with fix errors i havent a pc for try and error Alex cosarca is helping me


#16

@MaraJade

Ah, I see there was more now. I just got stopped at a few errors before the test and thought that was all there was. :stuck_out_tongue:


#17

Alex Cosarca is helping me right now i need feedback with the polemical Female path


#18

Content updated and error fixed with Alex Cosarca help


#19

Great story, an editor would be best, but I’m loving so far and I always have a soft spot for Steampunk.


#20

Cyberpunk not steampunk
Steampunk is a abanced tech society but based in past centuries more common Victorian age steam come from the victorian steam machine who moves that tech,
My story is based in a far future so cyberpunk XD