Protectors Of The Earth (WIP)

Hey so i promised something last week but my laptop went haywire so yeah, i couldn’t upload anything.
For my previous game, that i was originally suppose to make, i want to say it got deleted but the fact is that it was just way too shit.
I know this isn’t really much but just judge my writing, tell me the small things i need to improve on and the large things and here you go:

And yeah the next update will be when i have around a 10 000 words and that might also be never

It’s a small game it will be around 20 000 i am not sure but would depending on how descriptive i get and if i change the plot a little

How about an option to ask “why did you kill that man?”

“elderly man in his thirties?”

I found an error when I choose , I do not like the vibe my people are giving me. Line 14: nonexistent variable humans. Other than that, I enjoyed it so far even though it was short.

@stsword i don’t really understand what your saying, are you trying to say to add add option of asking why the general is needed to be killed

@Miki i will fix that tommorow and thanks

@Prototype People in their thirties are far from being elderly. Either change it to “an elderly man” or “a man in his thirties”. “an elderly man in his thirties” is illogical.

“try to keep quit”. “quit” should be “quiet”.

I am way way older than thats, so what does that make me? lol

@Dseg would 40’s be considered elderly? if not then what about 50?

hey grampa :stuck_out_tongue: just kidding

My mom is in hear 40’s she not elderly lol so I think you should put 50.

@vampierkid yup thanks

Not bad @Prototype I have 9 grandkids. ^^

I like it so far :slight_smile: hope to see more.

yeah it should be updated about in a month (because the breaks are over) so yeah bye until then

Elderly starts at 60 these days, I’d say. :slight_smile:

according to my grand father who is still alive he says old does not start till 100

lol, i am pretty sure an average human’s life spawn is 80 so some people will never grow old (i thought that was impossible :P)

i think the elderlies start earlier these days because of how our life spawn goes down as the generations do, because of the the type foods we eat but i’d have to do 50 otherwise the general will just be way too easy to kill

and what do i need to improve on my writing, cause i am sure that it’s not up to jimd and everyone’s level yet.

do i need to be more descriptive? less descriptive?
need to improve the flow?
use more descriptive words?

@Prototype Lifespan is increasing, not otherwise.

really?! O_o well guess my teacher had no idea what she was talking bout

Depends a bit on where you live. But odds are good that if it’s not a post-Soviet state, lifespan is increasing.

@Havenstone is correct; Socialism is bad for your health.

well i really need to know more about the world then…
anyways back on topic… what do you guys think i need to improve on?