The Night Hunters: First Blood [Updated 10/1/21]

IDEAโ€™S BEEN CLOSED OFF

Updated 24 January 2021

Iโ€™ve begun work on my new game
๐“๐ก๐ž ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐‡๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ: ๐…๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐.

This is the first time I have penned my stories and am very nervous about this. I would like any advice about my writing skills and grammar. Also have written it in English that is native to my country so take it easy.

It is a romance heavy game and I would not recommend it to people who are not into the romance genre.
It is heavily influenced by Attack on Titan, Pacific Rim and a little bit of Jurassic Park.

You can play as a Male, Female or Non Binary. There are 7 ROs and all can be male or female according to your orientation and you can also mix them up. In the mixed option the 7th RO is always going to be Non Binary.

Summary

You play has the main character, a young person who was born in Sienna on the very day that the 2โฟแตˆ war ended. You were raised by your adopted parents and had a fairly normal childhood and are fairly normal. Except for the fact that you get really disturbing, weird nightmares every once in a while along with these strange flash fits.
Then one night when you were 18, something happened and your life changed forever.
You will now have to fight your demons both literally and proverbially.
Find the truth about your birth and the reveal the hidden meaning of your nightmares.
Join the military and become the elite of the elite. Journey all over Sienna , make friends and maybe even find love. You and only you can save your world. Prove yourself worthy of being called a โ€œ๐๐ˆ๐†๐‡๐“ ๐‡๐”๐๐“๐„๐‘โ€.

ROs

There will be 7 ROs:

  1. Alistair/Alice Basri.
    (M/F), (5.10/5.5 feet), (Same as MC)

Has sapphire eyes, golden blonde hair and fair cream skin with a light tan. Hair will be shoulder length for Alistair and Mid back length for Alice. Alistair has a lithe though athletic build with lean and toned muscles while Alice has a athletic build with soft feminine curves.

They have been your best friend since you both were in cribs. They are the fastest runner you have ever seen and are very mischievous and playful. They are loyal to you above everyone else and very protective of you.

  1. Captain Ashton/Ashlyn Ascot Maneryn
    the third
    .
    (M/F), (6.3/5.11 feet), (30 yrs), (Serifi)

Have Icy blue eyes with pale ivory colour skin and platinum blonde hair in a crew cut for Ashton and shoulder length for Ashlyn which is kept in a fish tail braid. Ashton has a strong and very muscular build with broad muscles, chest and shoulders and Ashlyn will have a highly muscular and toned body which are softened by her feminine curves. They have a very very attractive face with a gorgeous roman nose and high cheekbones and a jawline that could cut glass.
The leader of the Night Hunter squad, a โ€œbornโ€ Night Hunter, they are cold and arrogant though an excellent leader. They would kill for their squad and die for it as well. The Captain was trained from the young age of 6 to be a divryn killing machine and be the perfect officer.

  1. Surgical Captain Eshir/Eshira Nehsar.
    (M/F), (6.2/5.9 feet), (28 yrs), (Tasryn)

Dark brown eyes, Light brown skin and wavy,dark Obsidian hair that is short traditional boy cut for Eshir and long coming to lower back for Eshira which she keeps in a long French braid and both have the traditional dark ink tattoo of a Lionโ€™s face on their lower abdomen.
Eshir has broad shoulders with a chisled,muscular build and Eshira has broad shoulders and a voluptous figure. They have a kind and patient nature though they are very stubborn and are the second in command. They were โ€œadoptedโ€ into the Night Hunters from the M&E Regiment and are a Doctor. They do however tend to lose their temper when someone troubles their patients or their troops and is the cool headed mediator of the group. They also hate it when their patients donโ€™t obey them.

  1. 1หขแต— Commander Vern/Vera Archer.
    (M/F), (6/5.8 feet), (27 yrs), (Ferosi)
    Emerald eyes, light peach skin with a smattering of freckles on face, neck and chest. They also have curly, fiery red hair that is shoulder length for Vern kept in a ponytail and mid back length for Vera kept in a tight high ponytail. Vern has a toned,muscular build and Vera has a curvy build.

They were in the Vanguard Regiment before adoption and are the squadโ€™s Archer. They have the sharpest aim and are the best Archer in Siennaโ€™s military history. They are hotheaded and will plow through anything in their way when in a temper. They are also have a very very vast dictionary for abuses and curses. But at the end of the day, they are very caring and will kill those who threaten their squad.

  1. Flight Officer Carter/Catrina Miles.
    (M/F), (6.1/5.6 feet), (22 yrs), (Ivylan)

Has kinky,dark obsidian hair that is in the regulation buzz cut for Aviators. Have dark midnight eyes with smooth ebony skin and a smile that could outshine a million silver coins. Carter has a lithe athletic build with delicate features and Catrina has a slender build with delicate features.

Are a very charming and light hearted and fun nature. They can literally charm the pants off anybody. They are a highly skilled pilot who is very daring and risky. They have on a number of occasions saved the lives of the squad. Their two true loves include flying andโ€ฆyeah, lets just say getting people out of their clothes.

  1. Mechanical Captain Iryn/Iris Hasher.
    (M/F), (5.11/5.4 feet), (25 yrs), (Venotaria District)

With metallic grey eyes, light beige skin and straight,dark ash colour hair that is in a crew cut for Iryn and shoulder length for Iris which she keeps in a low ponytail. Iryn has an athletic build with strong ropy muscles in his arms and Iris has a slender build with delicate curves.
They have more sarcasm in one cell of their body than the entire sea has salt. They are prickly but very entertaining to be around. They can be genuine and kind at times which are as rare as blood moons.

They were an Engineer in the M&E Regiment before joining the Night Hunters and are very good at inventing and designing new weapons and tools. They are also very talented and innovative with traps and explosives.

  1. Major Tric/Tracy/Trix Allor.
    (M/F/NB), (6.4/5.11/6.0 feet), (34 yrs),
    (Empire City)

Have olive skin with gorgeous molten lava eyes and dark chestnut hair in a crew cut for Tric and in a pixie cut for Tracy and Trix. Tric has a chisled,muscular build with a strong jaw, Trix has a athletic and toned body and Tracy has a strong frame with feminine curves.

They are the Military Police Liaison and Intelligence Officer for The Field Marshal. They are very mysterious and secretive and have an aura of danger about them. Their eyes seem to see and know everything and they have a very piercing stare and tend to make people feel threatened. They are a Night Hunter as well and are one of the officers in charge of the Empressโ€™s security.

I have written as much as I could here trying not to leave any spoilers.

Update log

24th January 2021: Chapter 7 has been uploaded, a few minor tweaks in the chapters 1 to 6.

10th January 2021: Chapter 5 and 6 have been released along with a revised versions of Chapter 1 to Chapter 4. Prologue part 2 has been removed and a few new stats and details have been edited.

15th December 2020: Chapter 4 has been added and The previous chapters have been revised. I tweaked the grammar and made the sentences a bit easier to read. I also added a few extra choices and made a few changes in the customization of MC. Stats and a few characters were changed as well. Donโ€™t worry our ROโ€™s remain the same.

7th December 2020: Chapter 2 and 3 have been added along with something a little extra. To check it out just go to the same link as before.

I would love it if you guys could point out anything that feels missing or needs to be added. Is the grammar, pronouns and readability okayโ€ฆand just anything do let me know.

To play the updated demo, go here: Night Hunters: First Blood (dashingdon.com)

I repeat again, any advice you can give will be appreciated a lot.

592 Likes

How come you made another one and how come this is second demo

10 Likes

Sometimes the game addresses Alice as โ€œhimโ€ or โ€œhandsomeโ€

3 Likes

I think you need to update your first page with the new demo, instead of creating a completely new page.

5 Likes

Yeah, I kinda accidentally may have posted the bloody thing a second time, while updating it

5 Likes

Do me a favourand send me the screenshots of those lines and I will fix them

1 Like

THIS IS SO GOOOD! I had so much fun playing it and it was a great birthday gift.

10 Likes

This update was literally so good. Just a bit confused about the characters like Alina, Allin and Dorian otherwise it is pretty great. Keep up the good work.

2 Likes

Chose Tracy and they had male pronouns and such when first introduced but then was correctly described as female

1 Like

@Varyn_Ashyver_closed dude that bomb drop at the end! PERFECT! Loved it! :grin: :+1: Beautiful!

Oh and first sentence where the MCโ€™s name is, shouldnโ€™t your horseโ€™s name be there?

In love with the WIP :heart: I like the moments when u see the perspective of other characters :heart::heart:

1 Like

One of the best demos Iโ€™ve tried.

The story is engaging and intriguing, as well as the characters.

Iโ€™m really looking forward to its full release!

4 Likes

Holy crap, before even entering chapter 1 I was already smiling like crazy. As a fan of attack on titan I can already tell this is one of my faves.

I just hope my mc donโ€™t turn evil and want to destroy the entire world

2 Likes

I canโ€™t stop laughing and crying because reading this made me have that reaction One the man stabbed himself and his father was no different heโ€™s an idiot 2 and the other parts Iโ€™d rather not spoil it but was very entertaining and cool

1 Like

@Varyn_Ashyver_closed Since it would be confusing for there to be two WIP threads for the same game, do you want me to merge the old replies into this thread and close the first thread, or close this one and merge the replies to the first thread?

Yessssโ€ฆGod bless you, I am not at all tech savvy so yes please

2 Likes

Nope it works this way as well, like I said I use a form of British English in my country

I set my ROs to All female and itโ€™s taking infinite time to load.

3 Likes

Hi! Unfortunately, the demo isnโ€™t working, thereโ€™s immediately an error when you try to choose the ROs genders!
And so, to at least see a little what your story is really about, I looked at the code of the first chapter and you can actually make your life way easier by using *fake_choice for hair, eyes, etc! You wonโ€™t have to use *goto and *label :slight_smile:

6 Likes

Hi! I choose all of the ROโ€™s as male but it took forever to load. Hope you fix it ^ฯ‰^

2 Likes