Love the premise! I’ll definitely be checking back to see how the story’s going.
Great job and good luck!
Love the premise! I’ll definitely be checking back to see how the story’s going.
Awesome!! Thank you so much for your well wishes!!
I loved it and now can’t keep myself still while waiting for any good news Also I really loved the magician
I am so glad you enjoyed it!!! If you want to, you can join GSS’s discord or follow our Tumblr for news and sometimes more information on the ROs, including Avalon/Avlyne!!
The writing is something else . I love how connected you can feel towards the characters. I can’t wait to see more!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! I’m so glad you like my writing and feel connection to the characters!!!
Thank you so much for pointing this out!!
I did a read-through of this yesterday after getting recommended to it. And… there is some truly beautiful writing here. T_T <-- Tears of joy.
There are a few points (moreso towards the end) where there’s a weird word out of place or something you can tell involves the code somehow, probably- sorry I don’t have specifics, but like at one point near the end there was a word repeated… and at one point a genderflip word on the RO. (in the coffee shop, I think)
The ability to choose between American measurements and metric is a bit of genius. Incredible props to both of you for that.
I’m enough of a VN afficionado to be okay with completing multiple RO routes, but it’s still a bit …hmm. It smacks sooo much of teen fiction, but on the flip side …adult content, high quality writing… heck, I’d say it’s more your chops of being able to make the railroaded romances enjoyable rather than about it being railroaded. Kinda like in the Guinevere WIP; the romance is predetermined, but the story weaves itself around that. And I think that’s what you’re doing- weaving a story around these romances.
Now I’m really quite curious how the story is going to progress after the first book finishes. Will it step forward in time normally? (It could but I feel like it won’t.) Will it rewind in time, maybe to a previous generation? …Hmm, the question about the MC’s father’s hometown makes me wonder this. Or might it step sideways in time, starting again but with things in the world different from before? (like if the MC wanted to co-own the magic store, maybe they do?) I wonder if the MC will remember anything from before? It strikes me that this has probably already happened before, because things keep seeming ‘familiar’ to them. I like that foreshadowing.
Of minor note- the first time Arebethe was called ‘Bet’, I wasn’t sure it was the same character. Simply referring to her as both Arebethe and then ‘Bet’ would help, I think.
Going for six books is INCREDIBLY ambitious. I’m pre-worried about author burnout- don’t you dare. This is a really strong start- I found myself thinking today that I want to read more of it!
My favorite thing so far? The painting. I don’t know why or how, but somehow the imagery of Arebethe’s painting of you was more real in my mind than the actual MC.
I also got a laugh out of how even fantasy worlds can’t seem to escape the dread ‘Monday’. XD
Be praised. You deserve that. Please keep writing for us. : )
OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THIS PRAISE!!! I’M SMILING SO HARD MY FACE HURTS HONESTLY!!!
Yeah, the code seems to not want to behave. More spanking may be in order
I’m glad so many people are already making theories!!! I’m enjoying them all so far… yours however… one may be closer than others so far
Ah, I may change up how she is refered to; the MC rarely used Arabethe outside of being mad!
Ah! I like having a lot to work on, it’s why I will have a second script going along side (I’ll basically write for which I feel more inspiration for day to day ^^ I burn out without choices, to be honest). I just need to remember to take breaks… which I’m bad at XD
How do you mean? Have I been doing a bad job on making the MC feel realistic? If so, how can I improve on that, in your opinion? :?
Ah, well, a lot of things in older Aome are based on real happenings in our world! Monday and Sunday have been weekdays since ancient Rome times, but our newer modern Wednesday-Saturday weekdays are actually very new editions historically! Thus why I made my own weekdays.
Same with the month system! Most months usually had six day weeks with one eight day week, and 11 or 13 months per year!
Again, thank you so much for your praise. I hope my way of handling the romances meet or exceed your expectations ^^~
Oh, nonono, I didn’t mean that you have done a bad job making the MC feel realistic. It’s just that I can imagine the painting as though it was a real image rather than an abstraction.
:J It might just be me, but the name Arebethe reminds me of Aribeth de Tilmarand from the old Neverwinter Nights game. I like the use of a nickname; the nickname just needs some introduction. XD Basically.
Oh, aye, I just know how stares off into the distance lost for a few moments … how long it can take to work on a long project. Six books is probably looking at minimum six years or so. If the pace of writing is amazing. I have no idea how long it’s taken you to get what you already have. Life happens… I just hope you keep the fire for it going.
I actually really truly enjoy the feel of the world you’re building. From engaging the senses beyond the visual and auditory, to the use of language. Ahhh, the word ‘arse’. XD And a few quirky things too, like heated streets in a world with magic. Makes sense. And you can tell there’s class disperity, which I like, but at the same time, characters that go against that (like namely the RO), and I like that too.
Regarding some discussion I saw going on here yesterday while I was reading- I m’self headcannoned the MC at about 20, or late teens. It has enough of a medieval feel to shift the age feel by about half a generation from a modern story, imo. Though the NPC ages aren’t something I saw quite the same as intended. Like, I pictured Arebethe as about the MC’s age, within a year. I guess I pictured Bet’s mother as late middle-aged. Late-fourties, early fifties. Hard to tell with the sickness, unfortunately.
Hmm. I do suppose one might consider Avalon/Avlyne an open person. It may something about me that I think of them as normal friendly?
Am I going to need to do another playthrough to see how much changes if I try a gender flip and different choices? I just might.
@Shawn_Patrick_Reed is officially a Capri/Cierra fanboy. This is the most feedback I’ve seen him give in two years.
Well… that’s true… I haven’t peeked my head outside my own forum thread much for quite a while. Oh, Eiwynn. XD
Oh, okay!!! I like making as descriptive images as possible, especially with Bet’s skills! She’s insanely talented, and will definitely help her in the future of more games
Ah, I see! I have NWN but I have only played the Demonheart module. Sad, I know. Haha.
Oh, to write prologue-chapter six took… um… less than two months? Like maybe a month and a week? I started like the Sunday leading to the week of Thanksgiving in the US and Chapter 6 was done… December 18th. ^^
Thank you so much!!! Aome is a world I’ve slowly built for years. In the last year, I have fully put forth the effort of organizing all the quirks and workings of it and I really can’t wait to show more about it!!! There’s so many subplots and details and tiny bits of information I can’t wait to reveal through my upcoming games!!
Hehe, I like giving an openness for people to imagine how characters appear! After all, you don’t have to look your age… and that’s certainly the case for AV and Anna. I do like to keep the MC young, as if they were older, they’d be more well-taught in using their magick, which they aren’t!
AV is quite open! But they also like to work from behind the scenes and do acts of kindness without bringing attention to themselves; they are of the mind that giving kindness should not require a person to be constantly applauded, as that is more selfish.
I definitely recommend multiple playthroughs!!! There’s so much to see outside of the first playthrough, and the ROs appearances shift a bit from gender to gender! Except Vervain, who doesn’t really get gender and just exists as themself!!
I’m totally not squealing with joy right now.
(All of this is so wild! I didn’t expect my writing to reach such a large audience of people in just two days! It’s quite odd to think I’m only 19 )
@Shawn_Patrick_Reed also Shawn, if you’re interested and have/can make a Discord, we’re looking for male/nonbinary/genderfluid betas and based on your interest I’d love for you to join us!!
I do have discord, yes. Please feel free to PM me if you want.
Ummmmmm, I don’t want to sound insensitive and all, I’m a bit curious why these people you’re looking for to beta test the game ?
No, I understand why you’d ask, friend! I’m a fem genderfluid who is afab (assigned female at birth) and Rissa is a cis woman. Most of my testers are female. I want more testers of a different gender association (male, non-binary, genderfluid) so we can make sure we accurately represent each group our games allow you to choose from! This way, no one feels like their MC does not match how they themself feel… if that makes sense? We also need people to test certain gender options, and some testers are unable to do so as they feel uncomfortable playing as a gender they don’t identify as. (And it can be downright horrible for people who are having problems with dysphoria to play as certain genders.)
I hope this helps you understand what we’re trying to do!!!