I’ve begun work on my new game “Memory of Metal”(I dont know if I will stick to the name).
“You are a deceased monarch, a revenant, who has come to realize that it is too late to seek vengeance for the downfall of your noble house. However, you discover that you are not too late to offer your aid to the remnants of your bloodline in a world that is undergoing its first renaissance”
I’m not sure what the exact term is, but it would probably be described as clockpunk, and to a lesser degree, arcanepunk. I will add further customization, so don’t worry. And yes, you start with two predefined genders, but you can change them if you wish. Your new you doesn’t need to adhere to those conventions.
Currently it’s about (10%, 10 Chapters, not sure how many words yet) done, and I plan on updating every 4 weeks.
To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/play/grey/memory-of-metal/mygame/
It’s a short demo, but I need to know if my idea is any good. Being honest, this demo took me about 6 hours spread over a few afternoons. I’m not a stranger to writing; I’m a burnout lawyer, but I enjoy writing. However, I’ll be honest with you: I’m in this for the money as well. So, I will probably set up a Patreon or something similar, but only when I’m about 50% halfway through, if this works, of course, and if people like the story.
I’m intrigued so far. The premise seems cool although the tech aspect isn’t really obvious yet in the current demo. So is Elena our descendant? The POV switch was a little confusing.
Yes, she is. Thank you. I will address those points in the next update.
This does seem cool, but I’m just wondering what kind of undead we are. It mentions were a revenant but what does that mean? Do we have a physical form, or are we corporeal?
I’ve enjoyed what’ve seen so far and would definitely be interested in seeing what’s to come. It’s not everyday one gets to read a clockpunk/arcanepunk story, which is quite intriguing. I wonder what sort of vibe, tone wise, you’re going for. Is it going to be a more serious and emotional, or is it going to be more “just here to see some fun stuff, not super serious” sort of story? Both could work, just curious really.
I think the idea of being a revenant monarch helping their descendants is really cool. I do wonder, what sort of relationship we can have with Elena. Personally, I really like stories of estranged family growing closer with time and I see some potential for that here :)) (even if, you know, we’re probably only family in a very loose sense ahah)
A bit of a ramble...
I hope this is okay for me to say, I don’t mean to be rude or imposing but…I checked the code files since, as someone also in the process of writing an IF story, I like seeing how others code, and well, I have a suggestion: you don’t always need to, after each choice, *goto a label to set the variables and show the specific text for it. It would probably spare you some time if you wrote that under the choice itself and then *goto a label that has the non-variable text. Also, if you use this command (*create implicit_control_flow true) in the beginning of the startup, you don’t really even need to *goto a label after a *fake_choice since it automatically goes to the next text after the choice, which can also save some time. Again just a suggestion that I thought might help, not in a way trying to say this is something you need to do.
Also really curious about how you name the labels, is there a logic behind the numbers used?
Anywho, good luck with your endeavors.
A revenant is a term used to describe a person who has supposedly returned from the dead. It refers to an individual who has experienced a resurrection or revival, rather than being an undead or incorporeal entity. Though I understand the term has been associated with the latter.
I’m using Chronicle as a way to quickly visualize the story and its branching paths. However, I must admit that the program’s code is quite redundant. My intention is to streamline and clean the code, but for now, I want to prioritize focusing on the story itself.
I love it so far its very intriguing so will we get more lore about the aftermath of the coup
Ooohhhh, it’s definitely caught my attention! Can’t wait for more
your story has piqued my interest. can’t wait next chapter !
Just a heads up found this error.
Thanks! I will make sure to correct that quotation error. If you come across any other bugs, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
I have never heard of a clockpunk story before, this would be the first time even hearing the term but the thought of guiding and nurturing your descendents is very appealing. Look forward to seeing the next update.
Also is there 10 chapters, or 10% of 10 chapters? ^^
thanks and good luck
Yes, there are four romance options planned, but since it’s my first time writing romance, I may end up reducing the number.
@Aldrich I like it. Premise and story is intresting and good. Stat page is bare. Other than that I don’t see any problem.
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