Ah okay I understand.
That is horrifying I would not want to see something like that IRL.
i’m fairly certain that it’s not seen as necessary to have a human mouth in order to grin, as evidenced by various creepypasta! most notably smile_dog. that and many pictures and videos of cute animals, of course.
it could also be taken in a less literal sense, where it’s described as a grin to emphasize the sinister nature of it and the way mc perceived the intent behind it; a twisted form of glee.
or maybe i’m just talking bollocks.
also, please make use of the @username and edit functions, guys. doubleposting so much ain’t cool.
Oh… never thought about that haha also why did you mention smile dog…
i was trying to forget about it… but yeah you don’t need lips to grin maybe it looks like eren’s titan around the mouth area (the no flesh around cheek area) from aot or some thing close to that?
i’d assumed i wouldn’t meet anyone who was still genuinely scared of that! sorry about that.
perhaps, perhaps. i do believe the designs for the titans from snk are heavily based on human anatomy charts. the world may never know.
It would be weird if there were people who were scared of titans though like what i said his mouth would fit on a monster but on him it looked cool but not scary.
I’d prefer if you left out the description, at least until the creature’s appearance becomes critically important. I like that we automatically fill in what we find scary. This is probably wandering into Too Much Information territory, but I’ve been having a lot of weird nightmares lately (they’re not exactly the same, but they are thematically similar), and as I was reading I automatically pictured the creature as a sort of incarnation of those nightmares. So yeah, keep it that way, please. 
Edit: Oh yeah and I really like the game, great job.
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@OfficerRattlesnake hmmm yeah that is a much better application of fear of the unknown, I guess I dont know my story elements(is that what it’s called?), but anyways it seems like a good use of whatever-you-call-it, to me
@WhiteLynx whatever it is, its certainly interesting I’d say.
@RyseAbove yeah I know right? just another reason for the rabbit to be scared of it.
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Update: 2 endings are done. Probably about 2 left to go. But after the writing is done I have to do a lot of checking to fix anything broken, and flow disrupts. That way when I post something, Typos and minor annoying instances of words/phrases, are the only thing you guys have to worry about. I still stand by the 2 month maximum. But I now raise a 1-2 week minimum. Maybe the absolute final draft can be ready in time for Halloween. Not that I wouldn’t recommend staying indoors and reading this 
I mean it is Halloween, if you are not throwing an awkward costume party, then throw on a sheet and grab some free candy. I mean, they literally are giving it away out there!… My humor sucks.
@DragonWarrior Nice picture… I needed another reason to not forget my nightmares. Joking, but that is really creepy. With it’s little ‘baby’ claws, it definitely seems like a pounce predator. Just so those claws can go to work. The longer I stare at it… the more I swear it is grinning.
@WhiteLynx @OfficerRattlesnake Attack on Titan? Just when I thought I had gotten away. Everyone I know watches that show and pressures me to watch it… seems I am not safe anywhere.
@Mirabella Glad you like it. Maybe a too much information from me, but after I started writing this I had a nightmare about this. My ex was the creature. I mean they still looked like themself(but the setting was kinda the same), but I saw them open their flesh from the mouth down to the lungs and little mandibles came out all over… Like centipede legs… Then… The dream got weird so I will stop here. But after I woke up I of course did the logical thing and gave them a call. Quoting “Hey, you have a second to talk? I had a dream about you… or well more of a nightmare. It was so weird I just have to tell you.” Yea… I am a pretty cool guy… But, to get back to my point, my creature ever since has had the same mandible/centipede mouth-thing from that nightmare. So you are not alone in nightmares influencing your creature.
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he’s grinning because he’s happy to see you of course! (he always loves his meals…)
anyways sorry about the next few nights without sleeping, hopefully no ones too worried about “biological weapons” now,.
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oi, i don’t actually watch the show! d: mostly because i don’t really like the mangaka anymore.
but i do get being pressured into watching the show, because around the time it blew up, i had quite a few people talking to me about it. wouldn’t have thought they’d still be doing it ages later.
@OfficerRattlesnake Yea, every now and then I get someone telling me I should watch it when I say I haven’t. But, I understand it. If we were talking about my favorite shows and you hadn’t seen them I would probably pressure you. But, I won’t. Because I tend to get… a little over excited at those subjects.
Also - for the general populace - over 13k words now, not including the choicescript. So… I am definitely over my 10k estimate. Sorry, I just got a little carried away at some parts. Probably looking at around 15k-17k max… Or more if I am listening to the right music at the time.
Lastly, an open question for everyone. There will be four ‘major’ endings, but some endings might share an epilogue. As an example, you pick the color red in one ending. In another you pick blue. Different things happen to you and the picture you paint looks different. But, no matter the color the ‘painting’, it sells for the same price. Would people be mad at this? You and your friend have different journeys but both arrive at the same destination. The same thing always happens, but the events leading up to it, and the implications of what comes next will be different. If this sounds bad to you, please let me know and I can try to look for each ‘ending’ to branch into a separate epilogue. Or if you would are unsure as to how you would feel, you can wait until it comes out and then let me know your opinion. I may be writing this for fun, but I want you all to like it.
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In my opinion, it wouldn’t effect my experience at all if you have shared epilogues but, I can’t speak for everyone.
i think that’d be absolutely fine to do! although the painting analogy doesn’t hold up. d:
i mean, enough games around here do it and do it well that i’d think people would be used to a game having some shared epilogues. s’yeah. like, even the same epilogue in a different light would give it a different feel, which is a very good thing to do.
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Didn’t like my painting analogy? But, I was stating that if you had two different paintings yet they sold the same, would you feel ripped off? As if your choice of red/blue never mattered. So if you had two different game choices, but they shared the same epilogue, would people feel ripped off. As if their choices didn’t matter…
You just got me to defend my painting analogy. Something I never thought I would/should care about… Use your powers for good.
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I’d prefer multiple endings most, but I wouldn’t mind much if it shared endings, just as long as the story in between stays separate then I don’t care too much
art is too nuanced for this oversimplified approach to it, and there could be a lot of different takes to this situation.
for example, say someone did make two versions of the same painting, one emphasizing red and one emphasizing blue. red complements the mood of the scene much better, while blue just clashes–but they both sell for the same price. has the artist swindled their respective buyers, cheating one into buying a technically inferior product, banking on their ignorance?
this clearly isn’t the picture you’re trying to paint (if you’ll pardon the phrasing), so let’s try again: someone makes two separate paintings, one that emphasizes blue and one that emphasizes red. they sell for the same price because, to the customers, they’re of the same quality. but is there really such a thing as two separate things being of the same quality, when one image might well do something technically better than the other does, or send different messages, or any host of minor differences?
it would be very difficult to find an informed customer that genuinely values both paintings at the same price, i would think, and even more difficult to find several customers that would value both at the same price. that leaves the artist pricing their own artwork, but obviously, since they’re the only person involved with the pricing, they probably wouldn’t pick a price they would be unhappy receiving as pay.
so, to recap:
- as colors can very much make or break a piece, it would be highly unlikely that, if one sold two pictures depicting the same thing, but one’s been through a red filter and the other a blue filter, would be sold for the same price.
- even if they were different pictures with different palettes that are good in their own way, that’s just it: they’re good in their own way. as with the previous point, it’s unlikely that people would value the two paintings as being the same price because of this.
- if the artist chooses the price, then they wouldn’t choose a price that they’d be dissatisfied with. if the customer chooses the price, the (presumably experienced, since inexperienced artists selling their work can be pushovers) artist would then negotiate a price they’d be satisfied with. if the artist feels ripped off even after that, they probably should start setting their own prices.
- in any case the customers themselves are making a conscious purchase
that they’re satisfied with, so in their point of view, they always
win in the end regardless of how the situation plays out.
tl;dr: the fundamental problem in the analogy is the proposed situation is highly implausible due to the oversimplification. the other big problem is the role switch, in that you’re placing readers (buyers, or viewers) in the shoes of the authors (artists).
i guess you could say i’m… anal about analogies.
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Dammit! I said use your powers for GOOD!
Also, you totally took the fun out of my only possible retort “You put the anal in analogy”… you not only beat me to the punch, you also just plain beat me. Now I guess I can just sulk and lick my wounds…
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//cackles. you just cannot win, mortal. you cannot win.
seriously though, i’m just a cynical, nitpicky nerd. d: you tried, buddy.
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I’ll check this out properly when I have a chance, but quick note - Quantic Dream is a game company (the makers of Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy.) Is there a reason why the title is so similar? You might want to change it to avoid confusing players about a possible connection.