haha, I’m good for the names man, I got all that sorted out already. but thanks =)
Ah alright man. You said you released another game recently. Silent Gear right? I saw that show up in review but I hadn’t known it was coming out. What’s it about?
Silent Gear is free in the app store bro, download it and check it out ^^.
The story so far has been quite interesting, but I honestly prefer to have a bit more control on my character’s background.
Sure, I’ll go give it a spin.
@Jaxx, thanks for trying out the game. The reason for the limited character creation is because i want to produce a novel game, where the novel story comes first and game choices are based on that, instead of the other way around. It’s just a different style from others really.
@Razgriz, leave me a 5 star rating and comments when you’re done bro xD
pools of blood flows out beneath her.
Either a pool of blood flows out beneath her or
pools of blood flow out beneath her.
Crying as I try to pull her away,
Either I am crying or I cry.
My hands are violently shaking, but at the same time, gripping the tree branch as tight as possible.
but at the same time I am gripping the tree branch as tightly as possible.
The men searches our car and spread out into the forest, they don’t spot me.
Search and spread out into the forest, but they don’t spot me.
And that was only the first page. I’m guessing that English isn’t your native language.
Other than the fluency issues it is an interesting story with lots of
potential. I’ll be looking forward to whatever the next step in the process is
going to be.
English is actually my first language lol, maybe I just really suck at it haha, you’re right on the pools of blood and adding the “but”. Other than that I don’t think I will change the action tenses, I find it quite clear as it is and using so many “I am I am” as you suggested is rather a little bit dull and repetitive in my opinion. ^.^;
Also, spelling and grammar is not my focus at this point as I’m mainly working on the story itself. I will have it completely checked by my english major friends before submission. But ya, thanks for the input tho =)
This is perfectly fine English. No need to be overly verbose 
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Well, since most of my English comes from English textbooks I tend to overdo it a bit. 
Sorry about that.
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It depends really on the rest of the sentence. On its own its fine though. Sentence flow may dictate a change.
Actually, if you ask me, that’s all pretty correct, except perhaps that first one, and ‘the men searches’.
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I’ll add chapter 1 to the demo in a few weeks when I finish writing it =)
Like the demo for now really starts off with getting a dark vibe like it it’s something fresh and new WIP really peaked my interest especially the music just wished it coordinated with the part of the story. And for that mystery 18+ stuff. Was wondering if Aki (MC) would be able to walk a place where the nuclear explosion took place with nothing but bare bones and eirie creepy music playing. Or when we get to the base. Anyway keep up the good work
Thanks man, I’ll have an update sometime next week with more storyline, and yes part of the story will have Aki and the children hide in the nuclear waste zone =)
Demo link in the first post has been updated, added more content. enjoy ^^, a major update is coming in another week or so with full chapters of the story.
I took my time to read it this time and I like the progress. Can’t wait for the next update.
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@RagEgnite Thanks man ^^ i’m sort of behind schedule already, really trying to get it done now.
Game’s pretty neat. Nice job.
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@GreenRover Glad you like it ^^ I’m working hard on a major update now. Will update as soon as I can.