“Leave her! She’s no used to us; she’ll be dead soon enough.” I press my body against the boulder so tightly that it almost feels like I am going to become apart of it. Shivering, cold, and wet, it’s like my heart is trying to pound itself out of my chest as I wait for them to search.
edit used
to use
“You are a big girl now Aki,” I turn when I heard my mother; her voice trembles as she speaks, her breath comes in short bursts. It looks like every syllable feels like climbing a mountain to her.
edit heard
to hear
I think I spoke, but I don’t know what I was saying; I think I begged her to come back - begged her not to leave me alone … But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now.
edit was saying
to said
@Zanity
Hey buddy, I like your current WIP a lot. Except I’ll have to play through again. I died at the house. I really love the names and how you changed the background to a darker shade. Also, please don’t mind me… if I see something i think might be a grammer error I just point it out. Keep it up
@Silverstone Hey, I really appreciate the error finding you did ^^ thanks man. Let me know if you happen to find more. Also, your game is pretty awesome too, it has achievements! That’s a first! keep up the good work =)
I really like your demo and I felt the soundtrack really added to the mood of the story especially when the mother died. It made it all the more sadder. I think it was a good idea to bring aki to trustworthy people right away because I feel if she was left on her own she would’ve starved or become a criminal in order to feed herself. That story arc would have made her more vulnerable to being caught by those who sought her. But with the trustworthy couple we don’t have to worry about that and you get to make your audience cry when you take them away from her
Thanks Lillystone =) I have a whole bunch more script written, just haven’t had the time to code it in yet. When winter comes around, I’ll definitely start plowing away at this again.
@Zanity Really good idea but… I don’t know if someone has said this already but I “HATE” the insta-death.
I hate it because I have to keep restarting over and over again just pick a defined course which I hate because choice of games is all about making your own choices, but when you add the insta-death and a defined choices to survive it really kills the mood.
well, when I finish the whole game, I will add in check points for sure, you won’t restart from the beginning, nobody will every finish the game if that’s the case lol.
I really love the names and how you changed the background to a darker shade. Also, please don’t mind me… if I see something i think might be a grammer error I just point it out. Keep it up 