@Eiwynn Hmm… that’s certainly an interesting thought, with plenty of dramatic potential. Let me take that away, and see if I can find a way to weave it in.
Merlin’s an interesting figure in Medieval folklore, as he’s rumoured to be the son of a demon and pushes the kings of Britain in some very dark directions (e.g. he sets up Uther’s rape of Igraine, and also encourages Arthur to massacre the Mayday babies). My provisional idea for Merlin was that he would be Mordred’s arch-nemesis, and a sort of power behind the throne figure. I had a few ideas for what might “really” be going on, which would have pushed the story a bit further in a fantasy/ horror direction. Of course, none of this means that he can’t be a romantic interest as well.
Mordred’s in his late teens when the story begins, and Merlin would perhaps be in his early sixties. A genuine attraction therefore seems unlikely (but by no means impossible). Then again, Merlin’s a shapeshifter in some versions of the legends…
It also strikes me that Merlin could be a very useful ally for Mordred. A more manipulative Mordred might gain considerably from feigning a romantic interest (as Nimue does in some versions of the stories).
honestly the game is interesting and i find the whole Doomed to fail thing both increasing and decreasing my interest at same time. Might be interesting to allow Player to succeed in some way.
BTW i think i will try to do some testing when the game is further along. Something about trying to avoid doing anything villanious i think it will be interesting how you try to get player to end as villain without it feeling forced.
Honestly if we die there I’m perfectly happy and actually I don’t want that necessarily be altered if we have any Victory it will be Bittersweet small and Incredibly intimate.
@alexandergreater and @Rogar The game will end with the Battle of Camlann (even if I were to include a path where Mordred somehow survives his injuries). I hope you’ll both feel that your Mordreds have had the opportunity to achieve enough by that point. I appreciate that having a partially pre-determined ending may not be to everyone’s taste, but it’s essential to the story I want to tell.
I had a more detailed reply up last night but, for whatever reason, it got wiped.
By the way. I love what you’re doing. I don’t remember anything focusing on mordred before and I’m working on CS focusing on antagonists myself. I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with this story.
@bl00dragon Thanks! I really enjoyed your work on the Wight King.
Armies of fishmen seem unlikely, as the current plan’s to keep things fairly low Fantasy. Seaborne raiders are almost certain to be making an appearance in later chapters, but they’ll be Irish or Saxon pirates.
That’s another update done, with an expansion to the feast scene. You’ll now have the option of starting a brawl, and an exposition scene with Queen Anna. I’m still not 100% happy with the text, and will probably make a few changes before it’s finalised. In the meantime, any comments are very welcome.
This last update is difficult to reach from the start of the story (because there are connecting scenes for most paths that I haven’t finished yet), so I’ve added new quick-start options to skip straight to it.
Edit: Oh, and that’s 16,573 words so far!
Edit 2: Fixed the code, so the quick-start options now work properly.
Well unless he really is a shapechanger in this version of the story. Otherwise I can see only two possibilities with my mc, if he respects and likes the old guy enough and Merlin fancies him he might be willing to be friends with benefits and the last one is of course seduction for more nefarious purposes.
How would you feel if I were to streamline the battle by getting rid of the options to fight on horseback? They’re taking ages to write and I’m wondering whether the time would be better spent elsewhere?
It’d be good if you give a story-wise reason for not fighting horseback like uneven terrain with thorny bushes or the horse is killed early on or something…personally I don’t mind and like @Vattena said it’s your game so you can write however feel comfortable
@Protagonist Dont remove them, Just Dont focus on them for the moment, You can return to it later when you feel like it. Its WIP afterall, nobody will blame you if you go. Sorry will finish this later Have more important things to do now.
My experience in writing interactive battles is that you need to be very strict and narrow in scope to write them. Using my own experience as an example, my target for the scene was 20,000 words but it ended up being 50,000 and that was after I scaled back options as you are doing here.
You can always go back and add options later if you have both time and willpower to do so.
The only concern I have is this: As a Prince and noble, would Mordred be losing face and status by fighting on foot? Would Arthur’s knights and Mordred’s father’s retainers look down on the Prince for fighting on foot, as a commoner would? Is Mordred, as a noble, expected to lead from horseback, as in other Arthurian legends suggest written in the Middle Ages?
Thank you all for your comments. Keeping the story manageable definitely makes sense, so that it eventually gets finished, and I’ll trim a couple of options for the present. However, if you do feel constrained at any point then please give me a shout and I’ll look at broadening things out (as I’ll be doing with the pre-battle insults).
@AmericanShakespeare Good point! I’ll work in a story-based reason for Mordred to be fighting on foot. (Which will probably come down to Lot not wanting both of his sons to be fighting in the same part of the battle, in case things go wrong.)
Lothian doesn’t get much screen-time in the Arthurian stories, so I’m drawing fairly heavily on the Old Welsh legends and Dark Age history in describing it. The Northern nobility definitely fight on horseback when it’s convenient to them, but there’s no stigma to fighting on foot. Maintaining warhorses is expensive in a relatively poor land, and enough of the scenery’s hilly or covered in forest that some tactical flexibility is needed. Their social expectation is more that Mordred demonstrates courage and prowess as a warrior. This is something that I’ve tried to signpost at a few points the text. For example, no one’s going to think less of you if you just ride down the Pictish champion, but defeating him on foot is better if you want to carve out a reputation.
Things might well be different in Arthur’s realm. Lancelot is very much a pragmatist, although he’s smart enough to pay lip service to the ideals of chivalry when it suits him. Other knights might well be more hidebound or idealistic in their attitudes, but the general feeling will be that the laws of chivalry don’t apply when fighting “savages” like the Picts or Saxons. (There’s some historical precedent for this - for example, the Medieval Church was happy to endorse the use of “unchivalrous” weapons such as crossbows when fighting non-Christians.)
I’ve added another small update, to move things forward a little if you manage to break the Picts and decide to pursue them. Also made a few more edits elsewhere in the text.
