Ice, Blood, Fire and Fate (WIP)


#1

Well here’s the very first demo I’ve done, a fantasy game loosely based on Beowulf. I hope you guys enjoy and I’m really sorry if anything in here is messed up/broken/misspelled/messed up, broken and misspelled.

Thanks :smile:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/8kmzcxm78ix2c15/Ice%2C%20Blood%2C%20Fire%20and%20Fate.html?dl=0

Edit: Updated 3/24/2015. Fixed some bugs and typos. Added the fight with Grendel and some celebration afterword which probably made all new typos and errors. Changed the introduction a little bit and added some achievement, you can get the two hidden ones in game currently, but the three visible ones are place holders and may or may not be there to stay.


#2

Small typo at the beginning

" I would highly encourage your to read the original poem"

You probably meant your to be you.

Edit:

Even if Heoret looks empty, custom and practicallity dictate that it is there I will meet Hrothgar. I lead your troops inside, but not before we are all soaked by the rain.

Slight pov slip here? I actually accidentally slipped into second person early on in my game too. Also practicality is misspelled,

…and I reached the end. Nice cliffhanger. I’m assuming the choices made in regards to warcraft, magic, and such will matter in the upcoming fight?


#3

@Fire_Strider96
You should probably just rename and edit your other thread, because I feel like the mods are going to lock this one.


#4

Or the other one. You choose, FireStrider.


#5

I think you should just use the old thread, as that one already has some traffic.


#6

That’s the plan. And thank you for catching the typos, I’m terrible at that.

And sorry about the confusion with the threads. My fault. I’m hopefully gonna be sticking with this one from now on, but if that’s not what I’m supposed to do I wont. Sorry.


#7

Updated this, if anyone’s interested cool, and if its terrible sorry. Thanks! :smile:


#8

Me and the warriors stand there for a while, quietly.

I believe this should be ‘the warriors and I’.

I call upon the gods, and I know they hear my cry, because just at that moment Grendel takes one huge step forward, and buries his horned toes in the embers of one of the fires.

I kinda like this take on magic. I wasn’t sure how you were going to do it, but I like this ‘not clear if its actually magic or just a coincidence’ approach to it.

I feel the horn and scale of Grendel’s skin grate against mind as the two of…

I think you meant ‘mine’ not ‘mind’.

I am very sore and quite bruised. But it looks like I’m not the only one who is hurting this morning: my warriors are waking up groaning and moaning as they feel each of their injuries.

Er… in my playthrough they didn’t actually do anything. They stood back when I tried to charge, and I had to fight Grendel alone. It might be worth throwing a variable in to check if they did anything in that fight, and change this dialogue accordingly.

I retreat little ways away from the outer walls of Heoret

I think you needed ‘a little ways away’ here.

I lost warriors last night. I must pay my last respects to their sacrifice. I retreat little ways away from the outer walls of Heoret and errect a monument of piled stones to outlast the passage of time and carry their memory into the future.

Kind of a similar thing to the warriors being injured. I only lost the kid who got jumped by Grendel while he was asleep. Thus the plural here feels a little odd.

And I reached the end. very cool, it’s shaping up quite nicely. I was surprised by how long the scene with the thrall was. I think that’s a good thing though. It works well for the pacing. We just had a fight, and another (possible) fight with Grendel’s mother is right around the corner. It was a smart move for giving the player a breather.


#9

thatnight line 229: Non-existent variable ‘her’


#10

Mine crashed too right as I was ready to bed the king’s daughter. I always choose the “bed the king’s daughter” in any game I play. :princess: So basically I didn’t get to meet/fight Grendel as the previous poster apparently was able to do.

Anyway, I enjoyed the story up to the crash. Some folks will say that using past tense narrative can pull the reader out of the action, and I generally agree with that viewpoint, but I think it works here because of the epicness of the tale. The past tense makes it seem more “real” and “historical,” I guess is what I’m saying.

I look forward to your next update.


#11

I like this story! And grendels mother! Mmmmmmmm!!! :heart_eyes: please do not make me to kill her! I like too much demonic womens!


#12

I think this game is great!! But you definitely have to let us have offspring from our affair! That would be the best


#13

Yes! My child will burn villages and eat humans!!! :smiling_imp:


#14

Thanks ton for the feedback! I’ve re-uploaded it and I think all the bugs and typos you guys found are gone, but I probably missed some. Except for the “Me and the warriors…” which I know is ungrammatical but saying the warriors and I makes it sound odd, for some reason, at least that’s just how I feel.

And for the rest of you, your affairs will have consequences, and if you make the right choices Grendel’s mother may live.

Thanks again!


#15

this is really good cant wait for an update i will be keeping an eye out !


#16

I found a grammar error:

Unless otherwise noted quotes in italics are from Beowulf.  

(There needs to be a comma after “noted”)


#17

Thanks! It’ll be corrected in the next update. I appreciate it.


#18

Hm…a game that puts new perspective on the greatest monster-slayer of all time? Intriguing.