Keeper of the Sun and Moon (WIP)

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
modern-fantasy
young-adult-fiction

#1

Update: Hi everyone, I’ve just submitted everything to HG. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this project! :relaxed: (Ahhh I can’t believe this day has come :grin:)

For more updates, feel free to visit https://keeperofthesunandmoon.tumblr.com

Premise: After being attacked by a monster, your life changes forever when you’re brought into the world of magic and enrolled at New World Magi Academy. Make friends and enemies as you take magic classes at a college for supernatural. Survive the monster attacks, and keep your suitemates from killing each other without losing your head. But there’s a war brewing between angels and demons in New Magi City, and you’re right in the middle of it….

Planned features:
*Play as one of seven species with various powers (human, magician, elemental, cambion, nephilim, dragonborn, or kitsune)
*10 ROs (5 male: Altair, Cyrus, Kol, Leon, and Yakov; 5 female: Astrid, Cressida, Katia, Seraphina, and Thalia)
*Choose your classes for each semester
*Various character-based and species-based subplots
*13 “personal” and “world” secrets to discover


Which WIP would you bring back from the dead?
My top WIPs as of right now
Any games that have ice magic as an option
I forgot the story name
My top WIPs as of right now
I forgot the story name
My top WIPs as of right now
Best Use of Personality Stats?
#2

What powers i can have? I am interested only in evil/destructive powers.


#3

@TheCorrupted
If you play as a magi (person with magical abilities) you’ll have general magic abilities and an affinity, or specific power type. What you use those powers for is entirely up to you.


#4

How strong is or can be the MC? Specific power type? What is that exactly?


#5

For question 2, I’m not positive but it means 1 power that youre very good at


#6

Will/are there any romances in the game?


#8

Demo is pretty good so far. Just enough to leave me wanting more.


#9

The game is really interesting and the plot and characters pretty enganging, even though the game is on early stages. :blush:
I really can’t wait for more. :smile:


#10

I just read the demo and I really thought It was a bit rushed, It kinda just throws you into the story without any idea how you got there.

Also when you arrive at the academy too many things happen too quickly…and the order of events doesn’t really make sense, the MC doesn’t really have any downtime to process what just happened instead we immediately are rushed into taking a simulator out of the blue which just doesn’t make sense to me.

Overall its a cool idea and I love your writing style, I would just recommend you organizing the events that happen.

-Just a few thought from your friendly forum poster Ryse


#11

please make more this game is alsom!


#12

Didn’t look that way to me but then my scenes have been called “confusing”.


#13

The English just feels… off… So I’m going to assume it’s not your native language. It’s honestly my biggest complaint due to how stilted it all feels and doesn’t seem to flow all that well from sentence to sentence. Or word to word in some cases.

Here’s an example of how some of it is very oddly written. Although this is more of an example of oddly written but still makes sense. Also grammatically wrong.

“you touch a hand to your head.” This, while understandable, makes no sense. When you say “you touch a hand” you imply that the person touched a hand. But then you add “to your head” which just… makes no sense even if the reader can understand what you mean. I guess you were trying to write something like “you placed your hand on your head” but then again it could also mean “you touched your hand with your head.”

Oh and a grammatical error here.

Anyway, Astrid, I came to tell you about a party Cyrus is having tonight. Oh, and bring Dickwaffle along to. Should be too not to.


#14

@Blazerules, you named your character Dickwaffle? Is that a name passed down in your character’s family, or were his parents just good-humored like that?

@daydreamsincolor, this is an interesting idea. Personally if this all happened to me in one day, I’d reject it, try to find a way out of magic-land, then spend the rest of my days training with various weapons in case magi or monsters come to get me. So I would live a very sad and paranoid life rather than attend a magic school run by a mad man. Obviously you can’t code that into your game because it’d defeat the purpose, but whenever faced with having to go to a school I didn’t have to go to originally, I find myself wanting to resist in this games. Good luck and all that good schtuff.


#15

Absolutely great game so far!
After all, it was her fault you were setting a record for most animal/person hybrids trying to kill you in one day.
I would replace animal/person hybrid with animal-person hybrid.


#16

@kitkat @shawnheatherly @adamthecowdog
Thanks!

@ryseabove
Thank you so much for your feedback! I’ve planned out how to fix the pacing during he next update.

@blazerules
Thank you for the grammar errors! Those will be fixed during the next update. The word flow is more of a style choice than anything else. :smile:


#17

@doctor
I’ll try to include more resisting/paranoid options :yum:

@thetrueking
Thank you!


#18

Nice demo so far :smiley:
I will admit the start does feel a bit rushed though. to much seems to happen to fast.


#19

@Doctor To answer the first question yeah I named him Dickwaffle. As for the second one well… I tend to just put whatever into the name entry for WIPs or on my first playthroughs of CoG games. It tends to be a little bit more entertaining.


#20

I called my character Captain and surname Foxbutt. Everybody will remember the great magi Captain Foxbutt of the Academy of Magic.

Moving on. I really enjoyed this so far, it reminds me of a modern version of Hogwarts, and I do hope we get to pick our species soon, I wanna be a Fox person, it will live up to my name…

I took an instant liking to Astrid, a total babbler and scatterbrain who doesn’t seem fully in control of her Magic yet. Strangely this reminded me of Neera from BG who happens to be one of my favourite companions.

Shapeshifting is already shown, this game already gets massive approval for Shapeshifting. Hopefully we get to see this game flourish, I’m looking forward to more.


#21

yeah am liking this already cant wait for more