THANK YOU !!! this story is really special because of that “bounciness” you mention—i’m so excited it comes through in reading. i really want to balance the sort of light/comedic tone of the narration with the soon-to-come darker/suspenseful elements. i’m so so glad you liked it 
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Ahhhhhh this is such an intriguing story so far, very well written, the characters are very interesting and I cannot wait to see how things unfold. Amazing!!! Thank you for sharing!
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thank you so much!!! <3
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Just finished playing, I like this a lot! The prose is definitely to my taste, and the premise is fascinating. I do wish we could’ve had more in-the-moment content with the Lyonses rather than just description, but I suspect that you want to keep their elusive air for now. The MC is definitely a fun character and I like their internal dialogue quite a bit. I’m looking forward to more!
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hahah no i know what u mean keeping them vaguewas agony!!! they will be more active in ch. 1 if MC chooses to interact with them im so glad u like it tho!!
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I really like where you’re going with this, a fun read and a good start. We are just getting in to the story, but my main critique is give us more consistency and editing. For example:
Your nervousness skyrockets under the scrutinizing gaze of the man in the dark, angular clothes and the casual judgment from the tan man in champagne.
The last few words of your introduction come out slightly strangled, and a whisper of a smirk plays on the lips of the brown skinned man.
In the above quote, he is described as both “tan” and “brown”. Those are two distinct colors with very different representations (at least in my head cannon) they should not be used interchangeably, especially so early on. I keep thinking this refers to two distinct characters; one with brown skin, one with tan skin.
In the same vein, one is described as wearing “Champagne” clothing, while just as often being described in “light gold” clothing. These are not the same colors, so I immediately think it’s a new or different character. It’s not.
I get the need to change up adjectives, but not all descriptors are equal, and as much as I love your story, I often get confused because of adjectives changing in a meaningful way that throws me out of the narrative. Are his clothes gold or champagne? Is his skin tan or brown? Idk, they are described both ways even though the descriptions are not synonymous.
Also, I have no idea what angular clothes are. Is this maybe a poor translation of “sharp” clothes? Idk, that would make sense, angular clothes does not, at least not in my lexicon. I just don’t know what you mean.
In summary, your story, idea and even writing are great, but a little more attention to specific word choices would go a long way to improve the reader’s experience.
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thank you for this! i was a little worried even writing that scene that that would be the case. i’ll fix it up for the next demo.
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first patreon POV is live! it’s a scene for R Burns, so R fans enjoy lol. link to patreon is here (available for free AND paid members).
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I love PoVs of ROs that have a crush on MC. 
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Burns got me burning
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first diary entry (erin pinsky) is live on patreon. available for obsession tier and fascination tier, will be available for intrigue tier in two weeks
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chapter 1 code outline is now done!
the current code alone is about 3,700 words, so i’m roughly (very roughly) estimating that the finished word count for this chapter will be somewhere from 50,000-80,000 words. i know that’s a big gap but i’m sort of anticipating it getting into the higher range of that.
hoping to have it released in 4-6 weeks—i’ll continue updating as i go.
ALSO i am now occasionally starting to post misc. drabbles and whatnot on the tumblr and patreon (for free and paid members) when i need a break from coding, so if you’re interested make sure to follow along on those pages <3
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hello all! just finished up the T Lyons POV for the prologue. you can access it on the Patreon under the Obsession tier—and in two weeks, Fascination tier will have access as well now i plan to work on chapter 1 for the next 5 days straight until i start to go insane then i will take a break for drabbles and/or the next POV or diary entry lol. enjoy <3 !!!
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Ooh, good luck man!
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hi everyone! just dropping in to update that i will have about 25,000 words of chapter 1 done tonight. 
it’s coming along really well, i’m excited!
i’m going to get as far as i can in the next 2-3 days, then i’ll wrap up the next POV (which will be N Lyons) this weekend. hoping to release that this sunday.
also, just so everyone knows it’s looking like chapter 1 is going to be about 80,000 words including code, which will bring total word count up to about 112,000 (i condensed the prologue code a LOT, so we lost 8,000 words of code LOL). the current playthrough is averaging 13,000 words, so it’s possible that chapter 1 being completed will bring that up to 20,000-25,000 words.
if all goes well, chapter 1 will be released to the patreon (fascination tier) early november. 10 days after that, it will be released to the public on dashingdon. in my ideal world that public release will be nov. 20, but i’ll update if that changes. i’m really excited for this chapter, as it’s where the plot really starts to get moving (really, chapter 2 is where things get CRAZY, but chapter 1 is busy, too).
all in all i’m quite pleased with the progress i’m making on this, and as always if you want to support me and my work check out the tumblr and the patreon <3
— ray
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Nice work! That is good to hear. I can’t wait to read it all!
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up to 30,000 words now WOHOO but in the meantime, there are TWO new drabbles (r burns & theo ferreira) up on patreon (free, members only) and tumblr. XOXOXOO
— ray
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The rich couple is so delightfully creepy! I was constantly on edge, they constantly looked, felt and sounded like they’re gonna kidnap, hunt or abuse me. Dealing with them was very interesting - I wonder if there’ll be options to state MC finds them very creepy down the line.
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HAHAHAH thank you!! they won’t be doing any super sketchy stuff like that but they definitely will pursue MC to some extent. and yes MC will have the option to love them, hate them, or just try to avoid them.
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adult content page is now live! link is here, but you can also find it on the top of this page .
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