Atheina: A Story of the Gods (WIP) [REVAMPED CHAPTER ONE; 21 August 2019]

[Darkner]

Hi there!

Background:
I was watching an excellent anime, Re:Creators. I recommend you go watch it. Basically it is about fictional characters that make their way to our world. Imagine Naruto stumbling into our universe, the shock he will get would be enormous.

This got me thinking. What would I do if I got sucked into a fictional world that I created? That is basic idea behind my game. But I still felt that the game idea lacked something. So fast forward a couple of months, I was reading an interesting light novel. For the life of me, I cannot remember its name. It is about some dude who plugs himself in the game he made. This guy then finds out that his game has changed quite drastically. The NPCs had abilities that he did not program them to have for example. And so he goes on a journey around this world by himself. And he is super powerful here. He can erase the NPCs from existence using one command.

However this was not the silver bullet that made me write this game. I still felt it missed something. Then it came to me suddenly when I was listening to a song track by Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles, “Deliver Us”. ‘Deliver Us’ is a Disney song from Prince of Egypt. Now this gave me the inspiration to write a story about the MC being sucked into a game save their creation from misery.

The Game:

You have just arrived back home after ten years being away. Soon after, you get sucked into a game you helped create. It is not the perfect world that you and your group planned it would be. Now you have to find a way to save this world and return to the real world.

You play as a god. Not a good god, rather akin to a god of the underworld. Your character is going to be like the dark horse of this world.

I am really bad at explaining this, please just play the game.

Side Note:
Update Log: 23/07/2018
-Chapter 1 has been added
-Bug fixes and typos

Old Demo

DEMO:
https://dashingdon.com/go/2701

New Demo
https://dashingdon.com/go/4551

-A NEW CHAPTER ONE-

[Vanessa_Pang]

@Darkner

Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles, “Deliver Us”.

I listened to that too! It’s so good mannn
:Edit: Just played the demo. I’m loving the fact that I can be the ruler of the underworld! Grovel before me, puny humans!

[Abe]

i like it so far and i ran to some errors along the way especially with the inability to name the god the PC plays.

other errors:

(odd cut off)
&

(plagiarising is mispelled)

Also, The Prince of Egypt is produced by Dreamworks. The Disney-thing is a common misconception.

[Fay]

Oh my god I love this. It’s such an amazing concept!

However, I found this:

I’m playing as a female. The title “lord” belongs to a male.

[AmericanShakespeare]

@Fay

The title “lord” belongs to a male.

Those maids have no sense of courtesy! You should throw them to dungeons immediately!

[AChubbyBlackCat]

Very interesting. I was intrigued by what sort of moral code we could establish and I’m eager to see how that is reflected in this new world, since I chose to let the humans decide.

[BoisterousBumblebee]

Aha so it’s an Isekai essentially. I suppose it was only a matter of time before that genre seeped into the COG community as well.

As for the demo, I felt that the dialogue came off as a bit formal. The simplest fix would be to use contractions more often. Depending on the characters relationship of course.

[Logan3000x]

@BoisterousBumblebee

Aha so it’s an Isekai essentially. I suppose it was only a matter of time before that genre seeped into the COG community as well.

I think there was one sometime ago that wasn’t finished. It was about a kid that was adopted by a couple that were hitman, he became one and during his last mission he was killed and because he had the family necklace on him, he was reborn on another world as the child of the chief of the village.

[LauraSikdar]

Oh, I really like this idea, and what you’ve written so far! Can I play a “good” character? The MC’s character/god is feared for obvious reasons, so it seems like it’d be fun to play someone with good intentions/actions but who is still feared for their title and powers!

[Darkner]

@Vanessa_Pang

I listened to that too! It’s so good mannn
:Edit: Just played the demo. I’m loving the fact that I can be the ruler of the underworld! Grovel before me, puny humans!

Lol Please show mercy to the humans. It is not their fault that they are puny.

@Abe

Also, The Prince of Egypt is produced by Dreamworks. The Disney-thing is a common misconception.

Really? My childhood has been a lie! The problems you’ve mentioned are fixed. I am sure there are plenty a bugs hiding in there.

@Fay

I’m playing as a female. The title “lord” belongs to a male.

Fixed. It should have said “lady”

@AChubbyBlackCat

Very interesting. I was intrigued by what sort of moral code we could establish and I’m eager to see how that is reflected in this new world, since I chose to let the humans decide.

Don’t worry. You’ll soon find out how it all turned out. You’ll see how good intentions can result in bad consequences.

@BoisterousBumblebee

Aha so it’s an Isekai essentially. I suppose it was only a matter of time before that genre seeped into the COG community as well.

As for the demo, I felt that the dialogue came off as a bit formal. The simplest fix would be to use contractions more often. Depending on the characters relationship of course.

Yes it is an Isekai. Thanks for the suggestion, I will fix up the dialogue.

[Darkner]

@LauraSikdar

Oh, I really like this idea, and what you’ve written so far! Can I play a “good” character? The MC’s character/god is feared for obvious reasons, so it seems like it’d be fun to play someone with good intentions/actions but who is still feared for their title and powers!

Yes you can play a good character. I just wanted the MC to start out as a feared god in the beginning.

[soprano]

Played the demo, it’s certainly very interesting so far. There are a few grammatical errors and stuff but those have already been mentioned. The concept is unique, and I really love being able to play as the God that’s more feared than admired. I do hope that as the story progresses, there’ll come a choice to unleash my godly wrath upon the insolent humans (lol, I love being evil). Can’t wait to see where it goes, will be keeping an eye on this one!

[jonnyboy666]

Lets see if I can try and be an anti-hero… Or at least a anti-villain XD

[Vacco_da_king]

Man…I like this already…hmmm I really love this, Ive been looking for a story that allowed you to play as a pantheon of gods of sorts…so far…the only thing I would add besides for more length because I love this is Perhaps a description of our god…like what is his exact dominion besides well…the underworld because Well…it would be flipping awesome…

[Nightgazer]

A balancer god that rules over rebirth in a video game? It seems only fitting for me to call myself Corbenik…(free hugs for anyone that understood the reference)

Who’s Kratos? I’m quite sure none of the other six member of the club chose that name.

[Logan3000x]

This text will be blurred

Shouldn’t it be Humans instead of elves? (The last part).
We were the only god whose creation was not said. Did We just pop up out no where? Or where we created alongside the first god as her direct opposite?(as they create and the mc can only destroy )

[Harley_Robin_Evans]

Sounds awsome I like the fact everyone will like hate him

[Logan3000x]

@Nightgazer

Who’s Kratos

God of war secret easter egg?

[Nightgazer]

I walked right into that one, didn’t I? Very well.

[Zeom]

Can I be the antagonist to the other gods?