This is really awesome! The plot, the world were epic. Very engaging. Really looking forward to seeing more of this.
1 Like
Man, I hope you can go pure doomslayer and John wick on anyone that’s gets in the way.
6 Likes
Honestly, the first thing I thought when I saw that Olis guy? What a hottie. Evil, business suit, trying to kill the MC? I’m in! Funny thing is, probably the closest thing to what a revenge obsessed MC would hate, which makes them even better. First thought was that they made me think of a Corpo in CP2077?
Also, that nice hero guy? Would love to get them off their pedestal 
Especially, if your wish was to be a hero, haha.
I really, really liked it! The beginning was a bit slow with the sarcastic/witty things (IMO) not being as good as the ones later but the action, and lots of options made up for it! I love to play a deranged psychopath with a trouble past and some terrible decisions. Normally, I like playing the guy that wants to look for better options, but I adored every option to laugh (like the happy person MC is).
I found some bugs (?) and some misspellings, but sadly forgot to screenshot them. Some you’re that should be yours and Veil (I think that was the name?) kept flip-flopping their gender. One sentence her, then him hers, etc. I’m not even sure I choose their gender, at all? I choose the Corpo guy, Hero cuttoff, Raon stalker,…that’s it? Maybe remembering wrong.
Last question: The Demo ends with chapter 1, right? Because it says Next chapter and then my game just loads infinitely…just tried today to load the save file from yesterday, and it’s in infinite loading again 
Sorry for my rambling! Can’t wait to read what’s next I had a great time - my sleep schedule not so much 
7 Likes
It looks intriguing so far and I haven’t even read a single page yet. I spent like 30 min just reading through the stats page and man I’m impressed. I’ll be keeping up to date with this one.
2 Likes
Me too
2 Likes
Well, I love these fight scenes. They feel dynamic and personalized to my choices, and I like the ability to chose how we approach a fight, whether that’s angrily, reluctantly, or resolutely.
I also love the storyline we’ve been exposed to so far!
I’ll add any possible edits to this comment on my next (and more thorough) readthrough!
11 Likes
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback! Seriously, this made me smile. I’m really happy you enjoyed the characters (especially the Olis guy, haha — evil business suit vibes always hit different) and that the choices let you fully lean into the chaotic energy!
You’re absolutely right about the gender inconsistencies with Veil — that’s a bug I’ll be fixing ASAP. Also thanks for mentioning the typos! Even if you didn’t screenshot them, just knowing there were a few helps me go back and double-check those sections. And yep, the demo currently ends at the end of Chapter 1! The infinite loading after that is because Chapter 2 isn’t uploaded yet — sorry for the confusion!
I’m so glad you had fun (even if it cost a bit of sleep, haha) and I can’t wait to share more soon! Thanks again for playing and taking the time to write all of this. It really means a lot!
14 Likes
I really really enjoyed this. All the customization is awesome! I can’t wait to see what happens next!! I’m very curious about the RO’s, and how they’ll fit into MCs goals. Note to Veil: I would like my dog tags back thank you lol
9 Likes
One word: phenomenal
3 Likes
I absolutely love this so far! Setting is interesting, and I’m a sucker for vigilante/revenge stories so this just hits the spot for me. Combat’s description is very nice and really makes you feel like your character is a badass!
I do have some feedbacks
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Maybe a bit of work for better separating some of the perspective shifts? There are some parts like for example where one moment you are viewing the MC’s perspective and the next it shifts to the Watcher and Roan’s perspective all of a sudden. Maybe a clearer indication of a perspective shift would help remedy that?
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Some gender inconsistencies at the near end of the chapter too. Constant changing between she and he which threw me off.
Other than those though, really love this! ^^
10 Likes
Author I want to know can the mc manipulate the blood inside of people as well
5 Likes
Hmm… can they? Wouldn’t that be terrifying if they could…?
I guess you’ll just have to wait and see. 
17 Likes
I loved this! Love a good revenge story and the world you’ve built around it is very fun to explore, very excited to see where it’s going! Minor thing is the perspective shifts are a tad confusing and take a second to clock but ultimately leave me intrigued as to what’s going on with them and excited to see more from them.
Choices
The descriptions of the different fighting styles were lovely and really illustrated the different strengths of them. Really like how you present all of your choices tbh - really feels like I’ve got a lot of options as to the sort of MC I want to create and they all feel fully realised and fleshed out. MC feels powerful in a way where it just feels like a foregone conclusion? A quiet power I feel like we don’t see much in IFs. Just the way you write their strength and how the thugs react to them in the situation means that whilst there’s really fun flavour text for how you project it you do always feel like someone they should be afraid of.
Honestly every moment of customisation at the start just felt really smoothly integrated into what was going on and into the tone of it all? Even down to text when you’re choosing a name. Think it gets a bit confusing/clunky when you get to the later bits with the fancier clothes and then once I was choosing between a veil and a blood thing I’ll fully admit I felt a little lost.
For clothing maybe adding something where once you’ve made a decision for that one it goes/isn’t selectable anymore might help make those longer sequences a bit smoother? But completely understand if that isn’t feasible.
Bugs
"startup line 3056: Invalid string, open quote with no close quote: “Chain Bracelet” During the outfit segment, happened twice regardless of MC gender.
“convoy line 582: Non-existent variable ‘scar’” When trying to choose a circular scar, happened on both male and female MCs. Didn’t get it with any of the other scars.
“convoy line 2021: Non-existent variable ‘ro2self’” When choosing for the Watcher to be female.
8 Likes
I love this already but my only problem is too much choices and sometimes it overwhelm me. And also like someone already mention it, the POV thing. Sometimes it’s about MC and then suddenly just shift to others without warning.
But overall I really the premise and how you narrate the story so I wish you all the best!
5 Likes
Im honestly really enjoying the game so far… not to be annoying by saying something thats already been said but my literal ONLY gripe about the game is the unannounced POV changes .. everything else chefs kiss
9 Likes
Nightmare fuel lol
3 Likes
Was the MC an echo soldier??
Also can you make different body builds for each gender of our ROs
(like for example choosing watcher as a male or female, Male can be 6ft2, female can 5ft11)
1 Like
I like it, I am a woman of a few words, I know, but my only issue is thst there is no end of demo screen, only an infinite loading screen.
4 Likes
That is where the demo ends.
5 Likes
convoy line 1379: Non-existent variable ‘short’
3 Likes