(WIP) Heroes and Heretics | Prologue reworked (completed) 41k words Updated 08/07/24

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Just played through it and it’s basically The Boys, but you get to play as an insanely powerful supe. I am so fucking down for this.

I do feel like things took a little too long to get moving though. There were a lot of scenes that had an ungodly amount of detail that made me zone out a few times. Once I was an adult and using my powers though, everything clicked into place. Absolutely wiping the floor with everyone I came into contact with and then beating the most powerful “hero” was a power fantasy at it’s finest.

I’m bookmarking this, for sure. Keep up the good work.

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I will be honest, I’m not too sure how to feel about this.
The origin story of MC is fine and all but it comes as just a script and not an actual life event for our MC. Needs to be brought alive by a good flow of storytelling that’s impactful to readers. So not too bad but needs improvement.

I do quite like the concept of heroes, especially superheroes, being corrupt and motivated by not so morally good desires (ect money, fame, power), but are carefully hidden behind the mask of powerful PR and supposedly heroic charm.

The harassment from the bully that leads to powers was pretty cool, I absolutely love teleportation powers that are used properly in combat, but the eventual brutal murder of the bully felt rushed, went from 10 to 100. , and although I have no problem with gore, you need to make sure your IF is in the right category, e.g. the adult content.

(I don’t enjoy coming across as harsh, but this next thing is a major red flag for me and thus I must mention it)
My main issue however, is as I read through the story, I noticed some of the characters, story plots and scenes feel like a only slightly altered copy of The Boys.

Perhaps a good example of how it comes across, is when student A writes answers to their quiz/assignment and student B completely copies off almost half of A’s answers, but adjusts some details to make it look like it’s B’s own work.

I know this probably is quite discouraging to hear, even more so with the effort you’ve put into writing this, but you must be careful with how heavy handed you are with using inspiration. I do hope your efforts and creativity do come to fruition, and I look forward to reading a more original work sometime in the future.

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last issues

Lol last time I checked, there wasn’t even variables for pronouns, it’s written that way. My guess is it was written in male perspective and later on tried to add female perspective.

Like I said, there aren’t any variables at all. There are also some instances where MC is non-binary despite not having that choice.

Exactly my point. I know said this once before and I’m simply repeating myself but It’s a linear novel trying to be an IF and failing at being both of them.

Finally, someone said it.

Apparently there’s some sort of rewrite or something of sorts. Let’s see if it’s any better than the last one. Pretty sure it still is a linear novel according to the comments and replies.

Lol isn’t that Nexus Squad literally majority of the Marvel heroes, specifically Avengers? And the rest DC heroes, specifically Justice League. So in a nutshell they’re bootleg Avengers and League mushed together.

Submarine is Aquaman.
Blitz is almost a copy of Wally West as a Kid Flash.
Valkyrie is kind of a Mary Marvel and Lady Thor mix.
Steel Soldier, come on, that’s Iron Man.
Vanguard is Captain America, Red Guardian and DC’s Guardian.
Storm Blade is literally X-Men’s Storm with an extra oopmh.
Brad is Hulk that you got from Temu or Wish.

Ooh Outlaws are kinda like knockoff Suicide Squad from various variations of the teams.

[Pretty sure this comes of as very rude and even maybe insulting and might get a ban or something or might not but I had to at least put this out here].

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Bruh evrything is a parody of itself boys is itself a parody of dc and Marvel but yeah the main idea behind the corporate was from the boys but that’s it other things will be vastly different

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Parodying is one thing, it’s actually fun even poking fun at original is fun but this on a whole another level. The Nexus and Outlaws are literal versions of DC and Marvel heroes and villains.

Just look at the picture and description of Blitz and Wally West, the Kid Flash

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Ignore these haters man, superhero media is always taking something from others. Like every hero is not a knock off some other hero. Homelander itself is knock of injustice from superman.

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It’s not that serious mate and moreover Blitz will not be fast and he does nt tap in speed force or some others . He will be more like quicksilver from X-Men

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Calling haters to ppl who give constructive criticism? What is this Twitter?

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Ganging up on the author when they are defending their work is indeed hater behavior. The author already said their piece and would not change so their no need to pressure them. Aren’t you supposed to be the white knight here not me.

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Well that’s why from my comments above I do recommend different take of superpower (at least for MC) because I suspect people will start to compare it to another superhero.

For me personally I don’t really care about comparing it to other superheroes, the power can somewhat the same but the personality of the person could be different, what I care is the story itself, that’s why I mainly highlighted the lack of personal choice like how MC deal with certain situation like in the mall or when dealing with Mansion situation.

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@Reiner it’s not bad at all and that is also the issue because when it’s at least decent enough people can’t ignore when it’s going in weird directions, so no for @Leon_Kincoln’s information, it’s not hate.

That doesn’t change the fact that most of them look and feel, from what little description we got and from pictures that they’re bootleg Avengers and Justice League.

When there are mainstream superhero characters that are as famous and extremely well known as Avengers and Justice League, people will compare even if there are simple similarities but I do agree with you about the choices or the lack of the choices.

Even choices with barely any consequences and only immediate reactions and consequences work tbh.

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I love this :heart::100:
Pls continue writing.:muscle:t5:

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In an IF place, it should have IF factors.

If its not an IF, there are other sources?

Unless I’m wrong about HG being an IF company?

But the author did say will work on it. It was posted they agreed with whats being discussed.

Im looking forward to those.

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Noo, let me keep the superman powerset pretty, please? :pleading_face:
A classic is a classic for a reason and Superman has already spawned countless parodies, adaptations, derivations and characters inspired by him. Homelander is just one among many. But it is rare to see the Superman kind of powerset in the hands of villains (Homelander in the Boys) or anti-heroes, like what I hope the mc can be here.

Since the trend has been against it lately I don’t mind having a new wip on here that does lean into power fantasy instead of having the mc be the load of their team.

Yeah, and for that latter part and if mc wants a life in general it is important for mc to win the popularity contest and the battle for the public opinion. MC is strong but since the elites really do seem to be almost universally against them they really need to gain the overwhelming support of the public to compensate.

Homelander’s son, Ryan, also seems to have them. But, yeah, this game is as if Butcher took the purified V (that is the only one known to safely work on adults, soldier boy and stormfront, but the formula of which seems to be either lost or somehow too expensive or difficult for Vought to replicate fully) instead and the rest of the series dealt with the fallout of that, which would have made the Boys direct rivals/competitors to the Seven instead of the underdogs they are. That plus the other differences should be enough to, at worst, classify this as a parody of the Boys but I believe when we see more of the world-building the differences will start to show themselves more too.

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Well it just a recommendation, Author can keep that power choice of course, I am not against it I am just noticing that in my opinion missed opportunity to explore other power.

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I mean, if we’re going that route, many of the heroes in The Boys are all literally carbon copies of already existing comic heroes (Homelander, Queen Maeve, Soldier Boy, The Deep). This game is clearly inspired by The Boys, so having similar power sets isn’t that crazy. In that same regard, there are only so many powers someone can have, especially if you want to give off the menacing presence and carelessness that heroes can have in this universe.

I personally feel that the change in dynamic between the MC and the “supes” is enough to justify it’s existence. In The Boys, they are the underdogs, having to rely on stealth, anonymity, and wit to succeed. This game flips that on its head by making you as strong or stronger than your enemies. So it’s not really a question of whether or not you can kill a hero, but rather if you can kill them all without dying, yourself.

@Reiner I see some people saying you should take out the Superman powers. I disagree. This game was specifically recommended to me because I’ve been looking for a game where I can have Superman powers and destroy people. As other people have said, it’s iconic for a reason. I mean, shit, even Billy Butcher got those exact same powers when he took the Compound V, even though they already had a Superman clone (Homelander). They could have done any number of variations, but they didn’t. Why? Because it’s fucking awesome, that’s why.

Very true. Personally, for a universe like this, I’m going for the ruthless antihero route, much like The Punisher or Ghost Rider. Police and Nexus will despise me, but the people will see me as a necessary evil, doing what no one else had the will to do.

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I think its the fact when you chose one power set. A different powerset not chosen does pop up too. Its like the coding didn’t trigger to seperate powersets chosen.

Blades/Claws showing up on other choice sets and other variables.

At least that was what I understood reading of some posts.

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The blades one is kinda consistent in all power sets when Valkyrie shows up. I’m pretty the author will fix it. Seems like a small problem with code that should be somewhat easy to fix.

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The Superman powers were consistent for me. :person_shrugging:

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I did the speed stuff and was fine with mine on its set myself.