(WIP) Heroes and Heretics | Prologue reworked (completed) 41k words Updated 08/07/24

She’s one of those “I’ll only romance her once I humble her and beat her down a peg” ROs lol. She was talking mad shit during that first confrontation. Crazy work.

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I mean I plan it to be like that not everyone will be interested her there are other ros which will be suitable for others taste :grin:

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Of course she was talking like that cos no one has beat her. Her ego will be crushed soon. I mean she is one of the stronger heroes out there

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Hope ghostwalker turns out to have a personality I like that is compatible with my mc. He’s cute at least. Hope we can convince him to dress up fancy sometime for a date too tho, once my mc steals some money to actually buy fancy clothes and jewellery for himself too that is. :sweat_smile: Hope he isn’t gonna be exclusively straight either.

I will say based purely on looks brother blood is looking mighty fine…too bad he doesn’t seem to be on the ro list, hope my boy can flirt with him though, even if it ultimately leads nowhere.

The others are all on the wrong side of the proverbial fence and no way in heck my mc is romancing this world’s version of homelander even if he werent gay.

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My MC: " I can fix her guys. Trust." Lmfao

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Wow, if that’s what author planned for the future that certainly didn’t come across that way, Valkyrie is like someone that drunk with power and authority from the story.

Either way she’s definitely not my Ro, I am hetero if in mono and will welcome her in poly route if there is any.

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Any work that involves having powers like Superman is wonderful, especially when you don’t have to limit yourself to the idiotic morality of the heroes. I missed the choices, but it’s more like a prologue and understandable.

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Same way I’ve been saying its the prologue. The superman power is really cool too.

Authors often write characters with superman powers as a morally good character when in truth there is no correlation between the two. Superman didn’t become a morally good person because he can laser someone’s head off or x-ray through clothes. He became a good person because he was raised by a loving living family unlike the mc whose parents according to them was killed.

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Yes its a prologue.

We should still change how our behaviour thoughts after the Bully. The following battles we had years spread between and more in control. That indicates we should decide then.

As far as story itself is concerned. I like it myself. I can’t wait to beat down Val. I’m uncertain about who I would even consider. Val doesn’t care about life, maybe she will change? Then maybe. Vals boss? Meh. I stopped before finishing the next one up, a police officer or something.

Will check back again. I am watching this WIP.

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They are basically told to handle supers even if there casualties caused by them. They just need a good press conference to make people forget about it. No one until we fought her has managed to beat her or end in scale mate. I’m betting her behaviour will change next encounter

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The mc will humble her

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will you guys like if i incorporate this type of black and white sketch scenes in some parts of the game ?

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That’s cool! Feels like a comic. I would like it personally.

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Oh that looks sick i like it

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It’s so amazing. This is exactly how I envisioned the fight at the start of the game. I’m betting that’s Sardino storming through the streets.

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I will probably create some sketch scenes black and white for some prominent fights like the prologue fight between sardino and vanguard

Sardino vs Vanguard

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I cannot wait to see this! I’m excited as hell. Awesome stuff.

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I like the concept here, guessing some inspiration is being drawn from The Boys, but I think this could still use some work. There’s not really any meaningful choices, only the power set you select changes much. Maybe it’s because this is just the prologue but at present I feel like there’s no real influence I the player have on my character or their personality. Also, this may just be me, but I feel like having the option to select the ro gender at the start might be a good idea to have because the abruptness of the end of the valkyrie fight scene into “select the gender of one of the ros” was such a tonal whiplash that I couldn’t help but laugh. Sorry to be critical but I do like the idea, it’s a fun one with a lot of room for storytelling, just think it could be improved

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Could we get portrait of the ro’s as well if it’s not too much trouble

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I want to like this more than i currently do.

The massive walls of text with almost no choices are not a great introduction to the story. It feels like I’m reading standard fiction with some light character customisation, rather than interactive fiction. Each section could stand to be divided into chunks half the size, with a few very minor choices to break them up in order to keep the reader engaged.

Asking me to individually choose the RO gender before I learn anything at all about them seems abrupt - maybe drop a tiny teaser like ‘this RO is a tough, maverick cop’ or something first so the reader can make a semi-informed choice. Maybe look at how other WIPs introduce their gender-selectable RO’s for tips.

The writing is good though and I think the premise will garner a lot of interest.

Also, no choice for green eyes? Literally unplayable!!! :slight_smile:

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