WIP Grey Swan - Wisteria Birds - on hiatius starting 17.12.23

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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WIP

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You are beautiful, trained in art and music.
You are deadly, trained in the unique weapons that no one except you can use.
You are dying. Kept alive by the very same thing that keeps you save from others abusing their power over you…
You have no rights. But you can do whatever you want, even kill, without having to fear any consequences.
You are the most pleasant death that anyone can wish for.
You are an artwork. And all you are supposed to be is look pretty, show of your owners wealth.
But oh, you could become so much more…

You play as a highly specialised trained entertainer… an Artwork, expensive companion to the rich and noble ones in Aklant, a country with rigid rules and unspoken laws, strict class divide and obsessed with anything that shows how rich they are… or at least let them appear rich. Artworks themselves are outside of this all, freed from all those social chains, but not seen as human… maybe its time to change that? Or leave the status quo as it is, up to you!

Genre: Low Fantasy.
Important: I am working full time, updates wont come fast! English isnt my first language.

The TW, its there for a reason!

What to expect of the story so far:

Frequent changes, as there are still some parts that I will rewrite later.

-Genderselectable MC: cis male or female, play as a castrato.

-Academie: choose one of four unique Academies, each with another focus: medicine, fighting, assassination, devoution.

-ROs:
Fauconniers, your potential buyers:
Chevalier Armand Sanson
Alexandre Desrosier
Others, you may work together with one or more of them?
“Mouette”
Sanglant du Verdier

What not to expect:

-quick updates. I am working full time, this means I have not much free time.
Plus I have ADHD. English isnt my first language.

What I am looking for, feedback:

-Grammar and spelling mistakes. English isnt my first language and I have a hard time writing in it, so there are probably tons of grammatical errors! I would be thankful for everyone who would point them out. I am trying to write in british english, but my school thought american and british english so I may mix it up.
-Wording and writing in general. Are sentences too wordy or just weird to read? Too many choices?
-Contrary: is there anything that sticks out as really well done or nice?
-Code: unless there is a gamebreaking error I am learning this as I go, and as long as its working this isnt my priority.

Updates

21.10.23: added the very start for every Fauconnier route, choose an illegal hobby.

5.11.23: added a bit more to Sansons and Desrosiers route

You are NOT playing as a BIRD in this one either!
To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/14599
Plans for the next update: polish the writing, add more content for every Fauconnier route.

My tumblr: https://reinekes-fox.tumblr.com
Check out my other WIP (Dark Academia, Urban Fantasy): WIP Grey Swan - Birds of a Rose 11.12.23
Or my other other WIP: Grey Swan - Hawks and Doves Updated 11.12.23

Something inspired by Ghibli: Ghibli inspired WIP - Citadel of dancing Birds 05.12.23

125 Likes
2

Sounds interesting! Maybe you can give us a bit more information on the world and plot in your post?

I will read the demo when I get off work!

1 Like
3

Can there be an option to enter own name?

*** Oh, I found it already. A little hidden, heh

4

Added a bit! And I hope you enjoy the demo!

Just added it to all other options too! Because tbh I realised that the Artwork Academy would totally change the names of some kids that were brought to them to fit more into their own language.

5

:+1: One more thing… Why are some hair and eye options grayed out?

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I would like to choose violet :face_holding_back_tears:

1 Like
6

Those are depending on your heritage or your choosen academy!
For violet choose the Academy of Avis

3 Likes
7

Ahem Bird or not Bird, the Bird is the word.

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I know (hope, pray, beg) this is a joke but i am taking psychic damage from this :sob:

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By the way, you misspelled leitmotif as leitmotiv.

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Both are valid, leitmotiv is just the older form.
According to my old english teacher and google.

11

Can I really trust your word, Schrodinger? You keep saying we’re not playing as a bird and you keep mentioning that, even though most people do not expect to play as a bird. The question on my mind is are you a bir-Oh wait it is a thing.

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quickly hides the keyboards ruined by me picking the letters with my claws I have fooled you all

Well… in WiBi there may or not be the oppurtunity to get turned into one much much later under the right circumstances, the same goes for my other wip… so… have I lied? I am going to leave that to others to decide

1 Like
13

Heey, really interested in this WUP. Just wanted to point out that, in case it’s an error, when you pick the option of having sketching as your little rebellion it gives an error and won’t move forward to the next screen.

Otherwise, interesting worldbuilding. Keep it coming, i want more.

14

Thanks for the bug report, which Fauconnier did you choose?

Trying my best!

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I had picked Desrosiers when i tried to pick sketching.

Aditionally, when in another playthrough I got yet more errors: trying to pick that you find sad Desrosiers has no Artwork will bring up an error, futher in to choose to go talk to the woman who’s talking with another Artwork will as well for me.

Hope I’ve helped, in vase i wasn’t clear enough don’t hesitate to reach out.

1 Like
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Thanks, I hope I managed to fix them all.
By one (talking to sad Desrosiers) I couldnt see anything wrong with the code so I just switched the order around, I hope it works!

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They cannot keep getting away with this!

In all seriousness, my totally not-bird person is hooked and waiting for more

18

Psst there are certain routes in my other WIP that will allow MC to change into a bird… or something else with wings :smiley: plus Artwork MC will def turn into a bird under certain circumstances

And thanks for liking my story, I do hope I manage to write more soon.

2 Likes
19

It’s really interesting so far! I got this error:

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1 Like
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Fixed!