(WIP) Clans of Éire: The Brother's War

This is an interactive fantasy-historical fiction set in war-torn medieval Ireland. You are heir to the throne of the Boar clan, however after falling somewhat out of your father’s favor, you are sent from the luxurious life you once led on a mission to help your Uncle deal with the Viking hoards in the east, his rule is very much in question as his alliances shatter, as the poor of the land begin to rise in revolt and even members of his own family see the opportunity to seize power from him. Will you stand with your father through these dark hours, or will you join the ranks of his numerous enemies and take to another throne? This game contains approximately 40,000 words and offers a full, unlimited playthrough for a limited time. I would really appreciate your input and opinions on character building, small holes or confusing elements in the plot, or even possible ideas for a sequel. If there are any bugs that need fixing(although it has been tested through several times) please tell me. This game is available on dashingdon and can easily be found on their games list at https://dashingdon.com/play/fionn-graham/clans-of-ire-the-brothers-war/mygame/

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Wall of text, wall of text alarm!

You gotta fix that first. Can’t read it otherwise .

On this cruel, divided Island, even as a noble you must fight to survive, your actions will have consequences on the people around you and will determine the span of your life, as well as possible romances or conflicts. Completing tasks will gain you new skills (they can be viewed on the stats bar above) which in turn will open new corridors through the world around you, choose your skills carefully, and use them as best you can to your advantage. You will have the option to save so if you die, you can take up from where you last saved, but use them wisely as you can only use the save option twice! Your character will be unique, and can be male, female, transgender, straight, bisexual or gay. To have completed the game successfully you must survive long enough to take your throne, on which side of the many warring clans you take it will be up to your decisions and character. May the gods show you mercy and guide you on the obscure, jagged path ahead… Chapter 1: Your hand grips your chalice of ale with desperation and frustration, the great hall the feast is taking place in is lined with great oak tables and covered in the richest of berries and slow cooked fallow deer. The deliciously warm smell seems to rise up and wrap around the banners of the nine strongest clans of Munster, your father’s guests for the evening. The oilean pipes at the far end of the hall play a joyous tune and your father, at the head table is tucking into a thick stew, trying to make alliances and ties with his guests. Despite the fine occasion, you feel only a confusing rage at every man and woman in the room. You lean your head back and gulp down the the rest of your silver chalice, wanting to be filled with the bitter taste. You feel a cautious arm hold gently onto your wrist, you turn to see your fathers chief advisor, a skinny yet proud and intelligent elder named Aodh. The man is far past his best years, his face weather beaten and his hair greying, “Don’t shame your father so, put down your ale and sober up”. A sudden rush of anger fills you, and clumsily, you bring down the chalice on his head. It surprises you how easily he crumples, the music and chatter stops and the sound of Aodh’s head cracking against the boarded oak floor echoes off the stone walls and fills the room. After several seconds of silence, your father charges across the hall, you’ve never seen him more furious, he pulls out his flanged mace and the guests watch in stunned, fearful silence. He wrestles you to the floor with ease and leans down on you, “You’ll soon learn respect you little shit!” What will you do in the face of his rage?

it all got mooched together…

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I’m sorry to hear that, do you have any idea as to what the cause of this issue is?

I would guess not leaving a full space between paragraphs. Just hitting enter won’t do it.

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The father refers to the MC as “him” and “son” before the gender choice:

Screenshots

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Would a next button on longer areas of writing fix it?

Thank you both for being so quick to correct those mistakes, I believe I have fixed them but if the text is still unclear I can try adding more gaps, or maybe you could adjust the text size?

that,s just the 1st big paragraph. The rest seem to be mooched together. Also, when Gower suggested to put space, what you did was separating into block .

You need to put space between some paragraph .

You know? like this…
spaaaaaace here
And you keep writing . something like this, its easier on the eyes. And some peoples have dyslexia and all mooched together is a nightmare.

You could’ve left that 1st wall of text, and just make space between some paragraph .

One of his teeth go flying under the surprisingly powerful strike of your right arm.

You lift yourself back onto your feet and head for the doors of the great hall, sadly the ale has taken its toll on your coordination, one of the guards shoulders you,sending you toppling into a dizzy, helpless state.

Your father marches over, wiping blood from his face. “I’ve no use for a violent drunkard as an heir, throw that brat into the moat, I’ll decide what to do with the fool come the morning.”

You spend the night shivering in the muddy, waterlogged confines of the outer moat. The walls of the moat are far too steep to climb, you can only wait and wonder what your father, Ailbhe, has in store for you.

After an almost sleepless night, it is the sound of the wolfhounds barking and sneering at you that wakes you from your slumber. The guards throw a rope down to you, grudgingly, you take it. They hoist you up and half carry back to the dining hall, and the events of the last night come back to you like a smack in the face.

Your father, accompanied by his best wolfhound, stride into the hall, surprisingly without visible anger. You begin to ease a little more at the sight of your father’s composure, he sits down on his throne across from you with a sigh.

The solid gold torc around his neck frames his broad chin and deep burnt brown beard. His thick bronze plated helmet rests on his knee as he clears his throat to speak, "This fief no longer has want for your antics, it is high time the red deer left for greener pastures.

Your uncle, Aonghus has offered that you stay with him at his southern barracks, he’s been having trouble with Northern sea raiders and says he wouldn’t mind some family company to cheer him up….and serve him his meals", your father chuckles,“Your carriage is outside, I’ve had your things packed for you.” He gets up and puts his arm on your shoulder.“You will have difficulties on the path ahead of you, but please child, let your actions honour you, your family and Chlann Scrufa, The Boar Clan. Remember what I’ve taught you. If you make a good impression on your uncle, I will reinstate your right to the throne of Chlann Scrufa, now go, do me proud.” What was your father mainly referring when he told you to remember what he had taught you?

Last…tis:

You will have the option to save so if you die, you can take up from where you last saved, but use them wisely as you can only use the save option twice!

Seriously? I already hate the dying part, but you went hardcore there lol
Tis will be a big turn off for a lot of peoples . Because, starting over is only fun when the game has alot of replayability. Start over and try a new path, see a different ending, a different choice and outcome, a different romance . But starting over cose the game make you die, and then you can only save twice ? Why? You will frustrate peoples and they will just walk away. No matter how good is your story .

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How about a title screen for the book?

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I’m working on that, I plan on commissioning a celtic knot-style boar to symbolise the main clan in the story a the cover for the book

Just so you know, there are very few options that lead to ‘immediate’ deaths, so don’t worry ;), so I made limited saves to reflect that. The main way that you can die is through making a variety of choices that slowly decrease your health(as can be seen in the stats bar above). In relation to the issue of poorly divided paragraphs causing an issue for people with dislexia, I have divided all the larger paragraphs into several pieces, and will continue to do so to a greater extent. Many thanks for shedding light on your concerns.

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Fixed that! Thanks for letting me know

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I also noticed that when a new chapter starts you either start on the same page the last one ended on or a completely different page either is fine as long as there is a few lines between them to differentiate the two chapters. However my main concern is that when a new chapter starts it says “chapter _: you have been kidnapped by several assassins” not what it actually says just using it as an example so as to not spoil anything.

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Its stíll currently a WIP so I know its not very clean-cut yet, these are all things I’m currently working on, thanks for the advice though:)

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Sorry for the late reply . I get what you are saying, but keep in mind that a) you either put that explanation up there or b) peoples don’t know that. They will see ‘‘you die, and you can only save twice’’ .

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Well I’m a sucker for historical games and Irish history specifically, so color me intrigued.

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I love the story so far but does the current demo end after the destroying weapons choices because it just loads after that. I love the demo and can’t wait for more!

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I loved the story so far, but I cannot play past the option to destroy Ailbhe weapons when siding with Aonghus (Is that a bug or have you not written past that point?). Also will you be able to side with the vikings?
Cheers and good luck.

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The first conversation between MC and the uncle keeps starting over after a few choices

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When I offered the peasant revolt my warriors, there was a game breaking bug

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