Trail of the Tigers

Hello there. I’ve been working on this project for a while and I was hoping to get some opinions on it.

Premise: It’s 1920 and you are the renowned adventurer Harper Smith, on a mission from the Smithsonian Institute to find an ancient temple in the jungles of India. Rumor has it that this temple complex houses the fabled Eye of Shiva, a beautifully cut blue diamond worth millions of dollars if found, and lucky you; your patron just happened to come by a map. You’ll have to deal with perilous traps and rivals too, and that’s if you can stay alive long enough to make it to the temple. Deadly creatures abound and danger lingers around every corner, but if you’re smart, and lead your expedition wisely, you just might come out on top.

This is the demo. I hope you like it.

Wow good job dude.

Wow! For a brand new demo this is extremely detailed l. Hope you kee going. By the way can we romance characters. =D>

Lol I wanted to pulverize Junior.

I really like the game so far !!!

Could you drop sexism in first page also why you set my race my gender, my eyes, my hair ,color, and my name…?

The start is too rush pushing me too people game asume i am heterosexual .

The rest is amazing remember me Indiana Jones and Salgary books with a little polish your game would be amazing

I agree with MaraJade on this but I don’t really think you can change the beginning without changing the rest of your story so sorry. :confused:

@Beezlebub could be fixed easily with code ${} command

I agree with MaraJade on this but I don’t really think you can change the beginning without changing the rest of your story so sorry.

Awesome I love it

A lot of promising prospects, here. A lot of work is needed, however.

Firstly, you need to set the boundaries of personalisation: Whilst we are playing as a set character, rather than as a projection of ourselves or someone created wholly by the user, the player needs to have some control over the nature and aspects of the PC, in order to properly engage with them, I think. Setting gender, appearance, name, sexuality, et cetera, is all well and good, but you need to make *some* aspects dependant upon personal choice, too.

Secondly, I think you need to structure the plotline better. It seems to drag out certain aspects, rush through others, and be far too linear. Getting both the pacing, and the branching sorted will do wonders for your game.

Examples for the former point are, for the most part, twofold:

One being the amount of time spent at the start saying “Do you want to talk to X?” followed by a few small remarks, which should be shortened to “Pick who you want to talk to?”, as well as how much you wish to say to them. Saying “Hello” in passing to one chap might then allow you to have a proper conversation with another, and not force the player to address each person in turn. It got a little boring, doing that.

The other point is that your journey seems to be rushed. There is no time spent preparing, setting up your aspects and equipment, allocating tasks to people, etc.; Instead, you set off quickly on a very railroaded journey, which jumps from one event to another. I would like to take things a little more slowly, and appreciate the progress, with more branches to explore. It doesn’t have to be sandboxed, it just needs to be not-so-linear.

This all ties to the general point of making the players choices more consequential. I never felt, at any point, that I was in any risk. It seemed like the game was proceeded without the player being a necessary component.

Furthermore, flesh out the supporting characters, a little more. They all just seem to be dropped into the game, rather than woven into it.

And when someone asks me what I think of India, I would appreciate being able to reply along the lines of “It’s a disobedient and primitive land, full of spiced food and stomach bugs.”

@Drazen i totally agree with you. you explain perfectly my concerns, but hey at least could kill that child.

I wanted to slaughter Junior so bad…

In answer to some of the questions above, yes, in the part I didn’t release, two of the characters do have romance options, but they would only be unlocked if you managed to hit the right answers while talking to them and you don’t have to go with a romantic option to get the best score if you don’t want to. Each character in the party has some unique dialog that you have the option to work through at points and if you manage to get their disposition towards you high enough and get to know them well enough, this can also unlock some solutions to problems you might have otherwise been forced to solve on your own.

About the sexism thing, I certainly didn’t intend to offend anyone. Perhaps I was a little too direct in trying to have the PC emulate the classic pulp archetype I was going for and therefore made too many assumptions as to what the readers are looking for. I can certainly try to tone it down a little, and work on making things a bit more flexible.

Wow… that’s a lot of ire towards one kid. I did not intend for him to be so hate-worthy. I guess that means I need to work harder. But this is great information. Thank you.

No it’s great that you can bring that level of emotion to the masses strive for more hate!

Yes that kid was a perfect character to hate its your best character it feels real, others are real plain but That kid! i like the tiger scene i dont save him. I understand you want maintain pulp flavour but being a girl and a girl protagonist is out of place, leave in male mc not in woman.

Mara Jade are you a girl?

@Beezlebub That’s for scientists to decide.

Kelso: BUUUURN!!!

@Beezlebub Yes im a girl i think it was clear in the name in the avatar. @Drazen as charming as ever you have to be many women crazy for you :))