Towergirls: CS Edition (WIP) (Demo) (First real rpg in CS, I think)

Introducing my third wip game that I will finish no matter what, if not at least someone can make use of all the time I spent.

This is, probably, as I see so far, the first real rpg using ChoiceScript, not sure if it will work, not sure if it will be a good idea, but I tried anyways. So because of that I really really need feedback on the combat, like I said this is new to CS so I don’t know if it really work.

Anyways, plot summary.
“You are a young knight, freshly graduated from the Knight Academy. But as you’re about to go on your journey for whatever reason you wanted, an evil dragon kidnapped the princesses or princes of the Kingdoms. It is up to you to rescue them and bring peace back to the land of Corona…or not…or join the dragon…or just play it yourself.”

Attention!: I need someone to become my proof reader/beta- reader. I need someone who English as first language help. Also please give feedback on the combat.

Now here what you want; the game:
https://dashingdon.com/play/sarin555/towersgirlscos-edition/mygame/

If you want further detail on the game which this is base on then here the link to somewhat its official wiki. https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Towergirls Beware there are some 18+ pics.

There’s also…two other group that develop this the same time as I do. I focus more on story, however.
Here is link to one of them: http://towergirls.boards.net/
The other dev. is full league adult version of this game, so I will give link only if you ask.

Next update:
Finish basic camp scene.
Add appearance in state menu.
Add other characters appearance choices.
Add some codex in state menu.
Polish/revamp combat (depend on feed back)
Add real mod (random enemy) to the game in encounter area.
(Might) Add the first tower. (Depend on combat feedback)
Polishing texts (again, need feed back and proof reader if possible)

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Just for your information, the coding language is called ChoiceScript. Oh, and the first four links either don’t work or ask you to download something rather than opening it in your web browser.

Delete them, damm the dropbox

Hey @555sarin, you may want to change the term ‘hermaphrodite’ to ‘intersex’ as hermaphrodite is commonly seen as a slur towards intersex individuals. The more politically correct term would be ‘intersex.’

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Sure, i will do that next patch

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I think you may also want to replace sex with gender. So it would be:
“Students of… (the female gender, the male gender, a nonbinary gender.)”

You’ll have to talk to someone who is intersex, but I’ve heard a lot of them say they don’t like having that as a separate option because their genitalia does not separate them from being men, women, or nonbinary.

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Here some errors

You arrive outside the academy stable , where Huntress Master ans Cain are already waiting for you.

Huntress and Cain

The another error I find

Very well, I will tell &{master} to go meet you at the stable. For now go, go packing, go get your equipments ready, and then go to the stable where Huntress Master will be waiting. He will lead you to the area we believe to be the Dragon’s Lair.

Take the & sign and replace it with the

Change: For now go, go packing , go get your equipments ready too

For now go pack, get your equipment ready

And the Huntress master was called a he change it too she

This is when u pick Ciel as your first companion

You doubt he will tell you everything about himself, it even take you eight years since you meet till he finally reveal to you he a man and not a woman. He is also a bit of a slacker, prefer to go fishing rather than doing anything else.

Change take too took

I like RPGs, so I say good luck.

is quite a seducer, some students said he sleep with nearly every students within the year, but you can confirm that that is not true; personal experience…or rather *rack of it. His charm work on everyone, but being his first and best friend, he spares you of that charm. He is also among the top students in the art of strategic.

*lack

I think when it come to gender, acting should speak louder than just letting you choose. You are free to romance anyone despite your sex, dificulty vary, and you might be flexible about it or not and stick to just your preferring gender.

I have an RPG that have been working off and on over the last few years, it’s a big undertaking. I am always excited to see another one being written. Will read through later tonight and give you some feedback.

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Ah, man. Towergirls is one of the more interesting /tg/ concepts. Definitely interested in this.

Sex tends to refer to biological parts, but gender would open the game up for trans players.

These are just my thoughts on it, take with a grain of salt. Looks as you have a good start, but the pacing is a little off to me. The story jumps fairly quick for the opening. I have no time to really develop a feeling for my pc. It feels more as I am being told the actions then being apart of the action. I can see there are a lot of choices which is always nice. I would have liked to pull up the stat screen but it just hangs up so only a vague idea of the stats that will be involved. I do think the game has great potential and will be keeping an eye on it.

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Sorry, but like I said ‘action, not choice’ when it come to choosing your gender. Why should I just tell you what you are and not let you be what you want? It limited player freedom from my view.

Like if I give you choice that you choose ‘female gender’ then you will be female gender and can’t be flexible about it. For me, it feel like being told what you are and have to be that even if I give you a choice to be ambiguous or being both.

There are tons of grammar mistakes, almost every other sentence contains bad/incorrect grammar. I also agree with what @Lordirish said about the stories pacing. There are also some things that don’t make much sense such as:
-How did all 19 Prince/ss’ manage to get captured?
-Why are we the only two knights to get called to the headmasters office?
-how did everyone know so quickly about the kidnapping with all of the horses gone?
-Why choose only one stead when you state we can get our own if we want to later?
-why can’t I be a dark skinned Elf? :wink:

Anyways I think you get the point, sorry if I sound a bit harsh :sweat: but my interest is in helping you make your game as good as possible.

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Then again I do the same with sex…

Some question will be answer as story goes on, some will be answer after the polishing in next patch.

As for the elf, well fantasy elf have their ‘white and pure’ reputation. But if you mean another thing then dark elf will be available as ‘post-start’ races later.

I actually quite like the idea that we never find out how the Princes/ses get captured; it makes the game feel more tongue-in-cheek.

However, it might make sense not to just make fun of the standard tropes simply for its own sake. The game makes fun of me for talking to the blacksmith (because we barely know each other) and the knight (because I’m wasting time), but if my character’s life may depend on these people, it makes perfect sense for him to try to find out about them.

And why does our Master leave without helping? Even without their communication device, it would make far more sense for them to stay and help out and THEN return with their report (and the Princes/ses). If they have to be out of the picture for plot purposes, you could have them needed elsewhere, separated from the party, or even killed while fighting a Balrog.

Good luck with the game!

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