I’m fine with the encounters being hostile with him for the first arc, particularly as he has no idea over the MC’s agenda besides them being ‘unnatural’. However, I’m glad to hear he’s not going to be the main antagonist and there’s a chance we can get through to him and potentially get him on side provided we aren’t playing an evil character and planning mass murder.
I’m trying not to get too ahead of myself here (lol too late), but imagining my MC and Asterius teaming up is just too cool. I mean, an undead and a paladin? Crazy. It would make for some uncomfortable fights with all that holy magic flying around, but would be unpredictable and a lot of fun.
But then, if Asterius teams up with us, would that be going against the will of his god and potentially lead to his fall? ![]()
Aaaanyway!
Okay, that just made me like his character even more. No way am I killing this guy if I have even the slightest change of getting him on side (and getting with him ahem)!
Another thing I noticed:
In most of the chapters, except the last one or two (where you used the correct term), you frequently used to term ‘lied’ instead of ‘lay’. I noticed it about 10 times. Eg. ‘The fortress lied to the west’ should have been ‘The fortress lay to the west’. ← Note: that wasn’t in the story, just an example of how you tended to use the word.
‘Lied’ is only used in reference to telling a lie (‘she crossed her fingers behind her back as she lied to him’), whereas when referring to the position of something, you use ‘lay’ (‘the dog lay on the floor, gnawing on a bone’).
Just something that sort of stuck in my head.
Just to be clear, I don’t dislike Helena as a character, and she’s not a badly written character by any means.
Thing is, I get super into roleplaying my MC, particularly in well-written stories that fully immerse me in their world.
My MC is a pretty serious dude, duty-driven and not a touchy-feely type nor someone who is used to being helped (nor requesting it), and not used to people like Helena in his ‘social circle’, which probably would have been incredibly limited and filled with types just like him. So in short, he and Helena are very different, and Helena is probably equally as exasperated over his seriousness as he is over her joking nature. ![]()
Actually, It’s kind of fun imagining Helena trying to find a joke that would get a laugh out of him; determined to break his wall of stoicism, then finding he doesn’t get her jokes, then tries explaining a joke, then just giving him a deadpan stare and throwing her arms up in surrender before walking off (cos explaining a joke is the worst). ![]()
That being said, I think it can be really interesting when you get two types who are really different and are forced into a situation where they sort of need each other to get through it. I’m nt sure to what degree they need each other yet, but I’m sure we’ll shortly find out! I do really enjoy roleplaying characters who grow as people through the challenges they face together, or even finding common ground despite being so very different. It will be interesting to see how it goes with Helena. ![]()
