Your writing is great but like the others said the pacing of the story needs some work but that’s fine this is what a demo is for.
I loved the the play time scene with the doll it was both sad and sweet.
I liked the demo, the story has potential to be amazing. Keep up the good work 
Always like when authors allow us to have the choice of what our relationship is with charactera like how we can be cold to Zion. Interesting story and am looking forward to the update.
@RyoMai if possible, for the MC’s personality can you add confident/shy. I’m not sure if it will complicate things but I feel it should add to the overall -thinking- (what’s a good word to use to describe this?)… I don’t have a good word for it but it should add something lol sorry 
. For example: A scared, shy, kind, charming, optimistic 9yr old.
I’m just throwing my idea out there.
Hmm, I kind of combined and interpreted brave/scared with confident/shy. But now your suggestion has me thinking haha. I suppose one could make the MC a scaredy-cat when it comes to fighting, but confident during dialogue, etc. etc.
Thank you for the feedback! It’s definitely something I am going to look into!
I wonder would it make sense to add confident/shy to the main stats page, and move brave/scared to the skills stats page? That way brave/scared is just mostly relevant when it comes to fighting instead of personality. If anyone has thoughts and advice on this, it would be appreciated! 
I always apprecitate shy stats
Seeing the parallels that can be drawn from such similar stats–Bravery to Confidence, Scared to Shy–I would still say they add layers of nuance being separate pairs of personality traits. Someone painfully shy in social interactions might be the first on the battlefield to thwart a problem most others are afraid of, for instance.
It might open opportunities for the companions to comment on these seemingly stark contrasts, and even present moments to play off of these differences. If nothing else, a confident coward is an interestingly annoying character who raises the eyebrows of others, while effectively being the group fool. Granted, that might be too ambitiously nuanced this early on, but if you think it’s something you’d like to have, or make possible in your story, then I say go for it. 
I think it would be interesting to have a scared personality for fighting, i mean we live in a tower without any real world experience, being scared of a fight would make a lot of sense and I fell it has great synergy with the persuasion and magic stats (cause both can be used to avoid fighting), while the brave one has a good synergy with blades, archery and magic (yeah, magic is versatile).
It would get a 3 stats path against a 2 stats path, don’t get me wrong I have no problem with that, what I fell is the real problem would be the advantage of the scared path, usually the braves are viewed better for other people, gets a better a profit and more experience, if u can make the scared path not a handicapped path, it would be amazing
As a suggestion, u could make the scared more like a opportunist (think of a thief fighting style). The point of it, would be it’s more profitable being the opportunist one at the start of the game, but later u would have less options since your bravery didn’t got high enough, do u see my point? It would be like choosing between easy start, hard end (maybe with some extra deaths in the middle) or a hard start, slightly easier end.
This gives off a tangled and blades of light and shadow vibes will keep an eye out for it ~
You make a good point that the scared path may be seen as a disadvantage. I originally added the scared stat because I wanted to give readers the opportunity to avoid fights and going in certain areas. The best example I can think of, from another hosted game, is the cave scene in The Soul Stone Wars. The reader can decide if they want to enter the cave at all, and I just loved having that option. Sometimes I just want to talk my way out of things or avoid situations completely, but it’s usually unavoidable. I want to give readers that option, while also adding enough content to that path that they feel fulfilled and like they didn’t miss out on anything by avoiding conflict/danger.
And your opportunist suggestion is a good one! I completely understand what you mean and I think that would definitely be something interesting to consider.
Thank you so much for the feedback. It definitely solidified my decision to add the confident/shy stats and think of each stat a bit differently
Ahh, now I keep thinking of all the potential reactions to the mc being a confident coward haha. I think writing those scene would definitely be fun and very interesting. It’s adds just a little extra customization and depth to the MC, and I love that.
I’ve pretty much set my mind to adding the additional stats. But this just made me more excited and looking forward to writing this book. So thank you so much for the feedback! It definitely got me thinking 
I’m really lookingking forward for your work ^^.
Now, it’s just me being curious, are u intending to make 1 closed game, or a sequence of some kind?
This premise reminds me of ‘Kidnapped! A Royal Birthday’
The confident coward is pure hyperbole, and entertaining showmanship. Definitely a fun character to watch in action. 
I can hear the collective exasperated groans of the companions already! 
Already very excited for this!! The MC is so cute it makes my heart melt
My plan is to finish this all in one book. After reading some forums, it seems like a lot of readers prefer one long book, over multiple smaller books. Plus my goal is to write other books based on different fairytales 
Cool start! I like the premise and look forward to seeing more 
I’m not sure if anyone already pointed this out, but I think you’re missing a closing quotation on the top paragraph here
I love the concept! definitely looking forward to future updates 
Interesting I’ll keep an eye out for the next update
Hey everyone! Quick update on the next update haha.
I don’t have a specific date, but I can say there will be quite a bit of changes once it comes out
I’ve really fleshed out the scenes and fixed the pacing. I’m also working on changing from 1st person to 2nd, which will take a bit of time. After lots of consideration, I felt I was more comfortable and enjoyed the flow of 2nd person much more.
I’m eager to update the demo and get everyone’s feedback. So hopefully it won’t be much longer!
