The Sorcerer's Tower - WIP (Demo)(Paused)

[RyoMai]

Hello! I’ve been a CoG/Hosted Games fan for as long as I can remember. Stalking the forum, reading as many WIP stories as I can haha. So I’ve decided to begin working on my own story! The demo currently contains chapter one. This introduces your character as a young child, where you decide name and gender (non-binary included). I’m excited to hear feedback from all of you!

The Sorcerer’s Tower is a low-fantasy fiction about being trapped in a tower by your father. Eighteen years later, father disappears and a group of adventurers who are looking for an evil sorcerer arrive at the tower. For better or worse, you decide to join the interesting group. If not just to see the outside world for the first time!

-6 RO’s. 2 Male, 2 Female, and 2 you can choose the gender of.
-Choose your fighting style! Magic, Archery, and Blades! Or if you aren’t one for fighting, try to
talk or hide your way out of precarious situations!
-Eventually choose the path of Good or Evil.

I went into this game with the intentions of having heavy romance elements. So while I will implement a way to play without romance, it’s highly encouraged to go in with romance in mind

Please let me know what you think so far and if you run into any issues!

Demo

[Kvngrhomeo]

Cool game

[Isi_Talks]

Interesting premise I will definitely keep an eye on this
I had one error

But nothing else. I am looking forward to meet the cast.
The pacing seems a bit rushed. I know you probably tried to get the story finished but it seemed a little rushed.

[HuiHui]

The game is interesting! Kinda like “Rapunzel” at the start except it’s not, but I like it! I really really like it! <3
Congrats btw ^^

[Bulk_Biceps]

@RyoMai found this.

[RyoMai]

Ahh, Thank you so much for pointing that out! I agree that things are pretty rushed right now. I’m currently finishing up adding content to the childhood section. I’m hoping to start adding more content and fix the pacing on that section tonight

[Luciel]

idk why but my phone won’t let me post images but i found two bugs ( idk if that same bugs or not )
it’s " line 81: not a number: sorceress" and " line 266: not a number: sorceress"

[RyoMai]

Thank you! It’s a long long long way before I write another WIP, but my goal is to write multiple that are all inspired by different fairy tales!

[RedRoses]

Hi! Congrats for posting a demo! I’ll write my thoughts as I play:

• For the nonbinary option, I think to line it up more with the other two options it would be better to say something like “Little one, haven’t I taught you not to interrupt a story?” It’s a small thing, though!
• I do agree with the earlier comment that it seems slightly rushed. I think just slowing down a bit by letting us spend more time with our dad or something would help.
• I really like the mystery around our brother, but I think letting us have more surprise, confusion and/or hurt about not knowing about him as options would be a good idea.
• Reading and writing hit the same variable problem as singing.
• If Zion is a romance, I think it should be more clear that he isn’t our brother. It comes off as a little weird since we grew up together and spent what, 9 years? thinking he was.
• If it’s possible, could we have an option to decide if we will keep calling Gideon our dad, even if we believe Zion that we’re not blood related?

I think you’re off to a solid start, and I look forward to seeing how this story evolves! I love fairy tales and it so far seems very much like one

[RyoMai]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I love the advice for the nonbinary option. I agree it does line up more with the other options
I had already mentioned I’m currently working on adding more content to what I’ve written and fix the pacing, but I hadn’t even given a thought to adding more scenes with the dad . I will definitely be doing that now!
I agree I have to work on getting it across that Zion isn’t our actual brother and pace it so there is more time to get over the surprise and weirdness of that fact.
I will definitely add the option to keep calling Gideon dad.
Thank you again for the feedback! It was very helpful.

[No_This_Is_Patrick]

Got an error here

[rkgk]

It looks really interesting but I’m wondering if I encountered a bug?
From some screenshots and what people said here I feel like the demo should be longer but it stops here for me…

When I checked the code there also seems to be some more stuff after this point lol

Anyways, it was fun until that point and I’m looking forward to more :3

[LadyUmbreon89]

This one is really good so far!

I like a good sibling dynamic, so I'm just gushing a bit about what I like about the "first impression" scene offers.

You can almost viscerally feel how awkward Zion is when you first meet him. His background thoughts are probably along the lines of: “This is the kid my father’s been keeping up in this tower?”

Naturally, how the player introduces themselves to him will have an impact on whether this is more judgemental, or pitying. As clear as Zion’s envy can come across if the player wants that magic tome, it’s also apparent that he’s aware enough about the situation that he knows what’s going on is probably not what the MC would have chosen if they had both the awareness of how strange this is, and chance to choose. Not to mention that his father’s schemes are the reason this lone kid is locked away in a tower, and they would need care in order to even survive such imprisonment.

So I very much enjoy the choices of how to initially interact with Zion. Not only does it provide a pretty realistic response spectrum for meeting the first new stranger the MC’s ever met, but it was someone of an age making the situation that much more intriguing for the MC. Unabashed boldness in the prospect of a new friend, or snooty disregard? Cold indifference, or shy curiosity? It made the scenes very good.

[RhysGraveDigger]

Immediately put this demo on my Keep Track Of list. I love Rapunzel and this gives off major Rapunzel vibes

[RyoMai]

I had actually removed the next section from the demo. I didn’t want it there in the first place because it was old work, but I wasn’t sure how to remove it
There were too many errors and it was very choppy. So right now I’m mainly focusing on the childhood section. I’d prefer to have feedback on what I’m working on currently before moving ahead.
Thank you!

[RyoMai]

Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re enjoying the interactions between Mc and Zion so far!!! Although scenes are fairly brief, I want to expand them and really let players see and get a feel of how hesitant Zion is towards MC. And see how quickly/slowly he opens up (if at all) depending on how Mc acts towards him.
Thanks so much for the feedback! It made me smile

[Pedro_Aires]

Hi, i just played the demo, it is a really good start, i got myself into the MC easily, i don’t like the Papa atm, but i kind like Zion, looks like someone who does and say what is needed.
I was thinking it would be like the lost heir, but while it does remember me of it a bit, it gets a different vibe.

And as a suggestion, and a wish, i really hope for u to introduce some kind of resource to buy things, cause i really like farming gold and buying nice things for my character. XD

[Mei_Hiroshi]

That was short but fun Hopefully, we won’t spend too much time in childhood because the most fun things happen in teenage years and adulthood. That’s because I can’t wait to see what kind of ROs we will have. Definitely keeping my eyes on this one. Good luck

[Bananahead_101]

Very entertaining so far, cant wait to see what’s next

[RyoMai]

Thank you for the feedback! I hadn’t thought about it before, but I will definitely take adding currency into consideration! I agree farming gold is a lot of fun haha