who wouldn’t ?
she saved mah sanity back in DA2 . I shall love her foreveh…
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i’m operating on one hour of sleep and soooo much coffee. i was carrying around a spoon for an hour before i noticed and i don’t remember what it was for. it’s driving me crazy.
hot chaotic neutral dumbasses with their own agendas. that tracks.
i do love isabela but our personalities were too much alike for me to get really attached. it kind of turned into this
(and we couldn’t romance varric bc dwarves aren’t allowed or something grumble grumble).
man, i’m still so pissed i can’t play with any mods on a ps3. my canon isabela wears fucking pants thank you (as well as a fancy captains hat at unnecessary times)
(not to turn this into a da2 thread as much as i love to talk about it)
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If you tell me that you were also looking for it I’ll die.
That pretty much sums it up.
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at least then i would have known what it was for. what if i left food or drink in some random location? did i pay for something and have no memory? i feel like i’m in the twilight zone.
i do not do well on little sleep.
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What I like about Roach is that I can have him under my boot and remind him he is prey 
But now, seriously, I really love the relation you can have with Roach when playing with a outworldly/intimidating MC. Watching him squirm and stammer is great 
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Well…
what I like about Roach is he’s funny, has a really approachable personality, the teasing and dynamic between him and blushing mc makes me really giddy (lol so good). roach is that bad boy that isn’t toxic or is gonna use you. (if the theories arent true that hes stealing our energy or gonna kill us in the ending of the game.) hes a bad cheeky boy with a heart that my mc loves alot. hopefully i explained that right. 
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Newman: Squirm and grovel under my feet…damm roach!
Roach: y-yes! throws itself on the ground so quickly in so much primordial fear the energy inadvertently slips and causes some ancient deity in another dimension feel jealousy of such intensity, making the aforementioned ancient deity go on a bloody rampage on its homeworld of (previously) laidback believers
Newman: what the hell are you doing, Roach?
Roach: huh?
Roach quickly realizes that Newman wasn’t talking to them, but was actually stepping on a real cockroach
Roach: I… I’m trying a new perspective of things, y’know? haha deliberately avoiding eye contact
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When I think of my MCs true form, i legit feel bad for Johnny. Like, personality wise I would choose Roach irl, but Johnny is also my type (I am a Gemini, clearly) and it just feels like even if you like Johnny, betraying him in that way means…well just go for Roach. They are both sexy in their own right. Even though I love to play a villain, it feels icky to betray Johnny, and not so much with shady Roach. (I am not trying to start a fandom fight, Roach is usually my 1st choice…but after trying the Johnny romance…sigh. someone is gonna get hurt probably, yes? I’d rather it not be him) ps. In my head, roach is Noel Fielding in his blonde stages and Johnny is Richard Aoyade. This doesnt fit their descriptions, but it does fit their dialogue imo. I usually ignore physical desciptions in these games and add celeb crushes based on the characters personalities. 
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I had a dream last night where I was comparing and contrasting Where the Wild Things Are and The Passenger (specifically Max and Roach but the stories themselves as well) and I don’t really know what to do with it so I’m just putting it here so I can think about something else today.
Under a cut because this turned into a disjointed Photo Essay (i'm sorry). If I had more time it might be coherent, but alas. Hopefully it still makes some sense
- First, comparing Max (the human in the monster costume) and Roach (the monster in a human costume) and Newman (an even more literal example). They don’t fully align, but I find the differences far more interesting than if this was just a seamless overlay. In the book, Max feels constrained and unhappy in the human world, and puts on the costume to try to become more himself, more comfortable. In this way we have Earth as the Wild Things World and Max’s house as the Void, the stories are flipped. We don’t know the backstory with Roach currently, but the idea that Roach is more happy where they are now (in the land of the Wild Things) is certainly an underlying current in the story so far. With Newman, we have the costume as a means of survival. And even Tzr’nekre can be included in this because a costume must be put on to enter the world where the story takes place (you can’t get to where the wild things are until you are a monster yourself).
- this is more about that last line: “and the walls became the world all around” (such a fucking good line ahhhg). A way to say a prison can become one’s entire world? That a confined space can become comfortable? That a familiar place can become new if you change perspective? A lovely metaphor for Newman slipping between worlds? I love it.
- now we’re skipping ahead to where Max shows up in the Wild Things World and immediately tames them with a bluff (though I’d argue this felt like the genuine thing to do and just happened to work, but I’m restraining myself from going down that rabbit hole). This is a nice parallel to Roach showing up on Earth and accidentally developing a cult with “magic tricks”.
- Just kill me with Roach’s deep loneliness, why don’t you. (we see a hint of it in the conversation in the cabin while talking about their past love). This also brings up the idea that Newman could change this feeling and perhaps Roach could be genuinely happy on earth if only they had someone to love them (I CRY PIME)
- Eating as love, consumption as love, Roach biting their lovers, Newman struggling with not devouring as an act of love and respect, predator loving prey, on and on and on. Basically this page is a summary of the fight in the cabin and deciding whether to let go of Roach’s arm or not.
Thank you for coming to my tedtalk
I saw this initially, but I’m coming back to it again as I’m typing this and I think it may be my favorite true form I’ve seen so far.
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okay not quite done. regarding Roach and Newman and that last bit, from Love of the Wolf - Helene Cixous
(Newman as the wolf, Roach as the lamb)
"As soon as we embrace, we salivate, one of us wants to eat, one of us is going to be swallowed up in little pieces, we all want to be eaten, in the beginning we were all formerly born-to-eat, wolfing it down, eating like a horse; we are starved, full of whetted appetites—but better not say it, or else we’ll never dare to love. Or to be loved. Love is always a little wol-f-ishy [loup-che]—a little peckish, it’s not nice to say, but…
(How) can a wolf be loved? By instinct, says Tsvetaeva. In what way is the wolf lovable? It’s not the race of wolves that we love, it’s not the wolf. It’s about a wolf, a certain wolf, a wolf-but, a wolf-surprise."
“Yes, love of the wolf is indistinguishable from love of fear. When we were little, how we loved to be scared silly! That was an extremely pure fear. The child is capable of two things at once, first to believe absolutely in the danger, and then at the same time not to believe in it. That’s the way he gets his pleasure. Later we hold on to no more than half of these beliefs—it’s either/or, and farewell dear wolf: either we believe absolutely in the danger, or else we don’t believe in it at all.”
“Now that’s the escalating value of love. There is no greater love than the love the wolf feels for the lamb-it-doesn’t-eat.”
“It’s not difficult for the ewe to love the lamb. But for the wolf? The wolf’s love for the lamb is such a renunciation, it’s a Christ-like love, it’s the wolf’s sacrifice—it’s a love that could never be requited. This wolf that sacrifices its very definition for the lamb, this wolf that doesn’t eat the lamb, is it a wolf? Is it still a wolf? Isn’t it a delupinized wolf, a non-wolf, an invalidated wolf? If it were a false wolf, there’d be no interest. No, we’ve made no mistake, this wolf is a real wolf: right up to the last second it could eat us, the axe doesn’t stop hissing past us, up to the last second, with the little child’s faith, true faith, we believe in the wolf and we’re afraid. Then the grandmother holds out a furry paw and we are bowled over by the solemn honor. Thus the wolf, double-wolf, more-than-grandmother, sacrifices itself herself to us. And we triumph without ever having gone to battle!”
“What ties this wolf to this lamb, she figures, is the fact that it hasn’t eaten it. Painful mystery of the gift that returns through reflection: what the wolf loves in the lamb is its own goodness. It’s thanks to the lamb that the wolf accedes to the plane of love—the love that gives of itself without hope, without calculation, without response, but that nevertheless gives of itself, seeing itself give of itself. The wolf given to a lamb of the Griniov type who doesn’t even notice the enormity of the gift—that’s really love. There remains the infinite solitude of the wolf, invisible and unrecognized except by itself. What interest does Pougatchov have in not eating the lamb? The ascetic and dangerous interest of self-love. The lover loves the beloved, which is the occasion for generous love. But thereafter—thereafter there is the aftermath. Now the wolf can no longer break away from the lamb, for the lamb retains, for better or worse, traces of the gift. That which is given in love can never be taken back. It is me my entire self that I give with the gift of love. This is why the wolf can’t stop loving the lamb, the chosen one. Repository of the wolf. All of the wolf. That’s how love can ruin the lover.”
yeesh i need to go outside today
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I suppose its the possibility of loving- and being loved by- something so much more. It almost makes the emotions involved and the romance in general feel more.
How can it not be, for a creature that has seen so much, been so much? And for MC, for whom these types of attachments weren’t even conceivable for the majority of their life? Mine would have scoffed at the idea.
… That being said, Jonny is definitely my type. 
I struggle to see Fiama as more than a sisterly figure (so far), and the inherent power imbalance/ manipulative factor of the Horizon route squicks me a bit, so I’m still not sure if I’ll try their’s yet. Even though I know they see more than they let on. Which is attractive in its own right. 
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Shark… shaRk… SHARRRRRKK! ʞɹɐɥs
Don’t do this to me; you know I love your essays! (it’s alright, this is my break, I can answer this)
I didn’t know that, uh, book? Although I think they made a movie or something not so long ago?
fangirl mode on
Gah I love this.
Yeah, but who’s the real monster? Reminds me of that thing Clive Barker said about relating more to monsters in movies than to humans (nothing but a tangent, but you know how my brain works).
Awesome.
Drop kicked right in the feels with this one, let me tell you.
God the whole wolf-lamb thing nnngghhhhh! You little perceptive shark, that freaking highlighted text…
Roach as Little Red Riding Hood (not the first time I see the comparison being made). Why do I love this mental image so much.
Just just
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it’s a book from my childhood so it’s fairly seared into my brain, which is I guess how I was analyzing it while still asleep? ¯\ _(ツ) _/¯ I dunno sometimes, Pime.
Yup yup yup yup yup Pime I literally collect monster quotes (I think I was made for horror this whole time but didn’t know this counted as horror.)
There’s one from a book I haven’t actually read though I probably should (Daughter by Janice Lee) that I came across years ago and it fucking haunts me every time I think about it.
“Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?”
Thank goodness I love tangents.
Also don’t get me started on the correlation between queer/lgbt people and identifying with monsters.
I had a feeling you might like that part 
I was freaking out with how well it worked for them. Forgot to add it to the initial post, but here’s the link to the whole thing, in case of curiosity. it’s all ruminations on fear and love and the grey area between, so horror-adjacent. starts on pg 70 (she is sort of all over the place, big stream of consciousness writer)
(obviously, only read if you want to, i feel like i’m giving you school assignments lately)
hehehhee
I do admit, a good 60% of my enjoyment of writing these things is you reacting to them.
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Wow, a game where I can literally play as an eldritch horror, never thought id see the day. The concept and game itself is just fantastic. Now a summary of the Ros, Fiama: the nice single parent waitress, Roach: they are Roach (don’t know how to describe them, guess that’s why I love them) Jonny: the angsty grunge guy with abit of a soft side and finally Horizon: cult leader/ yoga instructor. As soon as I started the game I was hooked and now eagerly awaiting more updates from @pimenita. a question though, in the poly with Roach and Horizon how would sex play out? Also tell Roach cant wait see them and the MC in their true eldritch forms.
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Hey thanks for the nice words :3
I’m guessing the same way it has played out until now; a couple of descriptions of what the participants are doing and fade to black. For now I think the setup would be Roach/MC/Horizon, like in Roach and Horizon share MC but there’s just playful banter between them. Of course I could also ask the player how they feel about their ROs engaging with each other too. But all that is just speculation since I’m still not sure if adding the poly option will work.
Anyways, news for everyone; CH6 is now 4k words and I’ve reached the first plot point (at least on that branch) 
I’m going at a super slow pace, but I’m getting there.
Also have some Roach and Horizon because it's quite fitting with the ask and all.
“My rain boots are dirty,” ${h_they} @{h_plural reply|replies} softly, “I wouldn’t want—”
“The floor is dirty too,” the other huffs amused. A cloud of smoke shoots Horizon’s way and Roach watches on in fascination as the ${h_title} fans a hand in front of ${h_their} face. $!{h_they} @{h_plural look|looks} so irritated that you can’t believe your companion hasn’t barked out a laugh yet; judging by ${r_their} expression, ${r_they} @{r_plural are|is} holding it back, but only barely. “Do come in, please.”
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Is it bad that I want a love triangle between horizon/mc/ roach?
Like, I love roach so much but seeing him jelly is so damn satisfying
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Hey there, here to report that CH6 is now 7k words. Hopefully, I’ll have at least 1/3 of the chapter done by next week. Have a nice week, hugs 
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This is probably the best COG game I’ve played and I played a ton. Keep up the good work! 
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