The No Name Knight WIP (7/18)


#1

The No Name Knight
By MyDogHasFleas

A title in progress

Warning Mature content may not be suitable for all readers, 18+ recommended.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/536886998/web%20(1)/mygame/index.html

Your story begins as you find yourself the main provider for your family. Your mother is too sick to work, remaining bedridden most days. Your younger brother Kierstan, too young for labor, remains home watching over your mother while you work livestock, earning meager funds. Such is the life of someone without land, to work and get by day to day.
Life moves forward as usual, until one encounter takes away that which you hold dear.
Having lost everything, you find yourself sold into slavery, and a life of servitude.
You become property of a wealthy land owner to the North, in a neighboring country. Your new owner receives orders calling on him to serve his kingdom, and find yourself with a new future…that of a knight, dispatched to serve the kingdom in your owners stead.


#2

Hey there, glad to see you have a working demo for your WIP, but perhaps you should post a bit about what your WIP is about to entice people?

Also, error report.
start line 82: increasing indent not allowed, expected 4 was 6

Also adjusted your title to include the WIP part. It makes it easier for people to identify works in progress.

Good luck with your WIP!


#3

From what I could read it was good. I found two errors. And I two wish you good luck. I will keep my eye on this WIP. Definitely my taste. I love books that are based on knights.


#4

Well,care to elaborate on the plot?


#5

How old are MC and brother? MC says MC is a kid and brother is too young to work (I assume. He maybe working as mom’s carege). I got the error mentioned above, but the content seemed good.


#6

I got the same error as @AndrewW and though it was a good read I agree with the others, I’d like to know a bit more about what I’m actually playing and what not. What can I do? The purpose of my doing? But it was a good read and I’m interested in seeing more.

Also on the first page you have betterthen with no space, that was an obvious mistake I saw.


#7

I’m assuming the errors the people above mentioned are the extent of the demo for now.

From what I can tell from the demo so far, I’m predicting the game will have the MC set off on a journey where we have to find a cure for our ailing mother, and inevitably there will be all manner of things that will stand in the way of us, as the MC, completing the task.

People in the future, tell me if I got this right. :smile:


#8

Is No Name referring to the fact that you’re a commoner who becomes a knight or something else (you don’t have to tell me if it’s too spoilery)


#9

I gained the error start line 82: increasing indent not allowed, expected 4 was 6.
Oh yeah and like the others asked, please could you elaborate upon the plot since it would give us a picture of what to expect :smile:.


#10

Would like to see more, but couldn’t move further after the choices you presented waking up.


#11

I have gotten the same error that others have mentioned, but otherwise this game has caught my interest and I will keep my eye on it to see how it develops.


#12

@Mydoghasfleas :slight_smile: I’d have to say that I like it so far, as some of the others said, having a little bit of what the story is about might help bring in more readers for this, but truthfully, it caught my eye because there was no synapse or summary xD

alright so I won’t bring up the errors above since there were already brought up, and since it looks like you’re still working on this and getting it started I’ll try not to pick it apart xD

"You wake to the sound of horses and carts passing by your window. Damn, how long had you slept for? And you still had one your disgusting work clothes from the other day. " >small error here, i think you probably just hit an extra key and didn’t notice, > “you still had one your”

same page,almost right after the above sentence, "Your motherhad said your father " >i tend to do this a lot xD forget to hit the space-bar or you got it but it didn’t take.

Aside for that it looks good :slight_smile: I look forward to reading more of your work :smiley:
Good luck :four_leaf_clover:


#13

But I thought gaining Knighthood elevate you to Nobility?


#14

I always thought that the nobility and knights were still in different rings though. Knights might own the same size land and all but they weren’t exactly ‘nobility’.


#15

Knights are not nobility. They’re always in service to a Duke or baron. They are only nobility if they are also granted lands and titles by the king they serve under.


#16

But what happens to a noble that became a knight? Are they an equal to other knights?


#17

Only in certain circumstances like tourneys I think


#18

or great deeds, or probably favours from the high court that’s how it used to work anyway :slight_smile:


#19

So after you have to choose to wash or dont do anything before you go to the capitol. This happens


#21

I probably shouldn’t have updated because the writing isn’t ready, but oh well lol.

As of right now, the option to clean up before going to the market isn’t up. It will be tonight. This is an important choice early on though.
The option to play as a female isn’t up. It will be tonight. It needs major tweaking from the male version.

Sorry the writing sucks. I will Improve it later because I am feeling lazy.