All the typos are fixed on my end. Should upload the fixed version tomorrow.
Good story so far!
[spoiler]You get caught at the monastry and attempt to intimidate:
You mouth drops into a grimace, and you bite back a curse.You bite back a curse and your smile drops into a grimace.
the next page:
His hands harshly travel under your shirt and you yell in protest. You squirm as he runs his grimy hands down your spine and und- [/spoiler]
thanks for letting me know! good thing I checked before I started to upload the edited version! Will fix that right now.
So I was going over my edit notes and noticed that I could not find the place where your brother is your sister. Do you remember what choices you made? It would help so I can see if there is an error in the coding.
@Arasia_Valentia
I donāt know what path the other person took in their game but the same thing happened to me in mine. Hereās the choices I made:
My brother > Insāt it obvious Iām a girl? > Sneak around to the back entrance > I pick the lock > Unsheathe my hidden daggers
Hereās the part where the game treats the brother as a sister.
[spoiler]"It hurts like the devil, making your vision flash red before the butt of the sword comes into contact with your temple. The world goes black, and muffled. You dimly feel yourself being dragged somewhere. The next thing your know, a voice is calling to you, rough hands trying to shake you from your stupor. It is your sister.
You open your eyes, to the sight of crimson rivers flowing around you. Flowing down and around great mountains. Mountains of brown clothe whose summits are topped with glazed and unseeing orbs.
Dead beady eyes who stair blankly into the air. Screams suddenly split the air, and you jerk up to your knees. Your arms twinges in pain and you grimace as rivulets of blood dance down you skin, dropping off your numb fingers and onto the greedy ground.
You squint through the haze of pain, and see two monks being dragged into the courtyard. Their brown garments are ripped and stained, the terror they feel shining brightly in their eyes. They know you, they recognize you; And then suddenly they fall, blood bursting from their necks, the light of recognition fading from their eyes.
You feel your sister cringe beside you, and a grimace paints your lips. You must do something, at least to preserve your own survival. Your eyes train themselves in the three Viking that glared at you earlier. Yes, you know what you have to do.
You draw yourself up, exerting your confidence as a warrior and stride towards the men. Your sister panics, your name spilling from her lips in a rapid sputter. "[/spoiler]
As far as I know this is the only page that is messed up. The next one seems to refer to the MCās sibling by the proper pronouns.
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OHHHH! I thought you meant a different instance as, the scene after you choose your name. My apologies. Iāll definitely add that to the edited version.
Apparently I canāt edit the post anymore? RIP. So I will detail the update info in here.
Chapter One: Part One
The stat screen got a cosmetic upgrade. The files have been condensed. *if and *goto statements are my new drug. Less errors I hope. Passed both tests so letās see.
You meet your master and one other character in passing before learning a little more about yourself and the world you are now going to live in. It ends just before you are going to meet the leader of Hallarmuli. The trigger warning is the same and will remain. I hope you enjoy this newest installation. It probably has some typos so just let me know.
Happy Readinā!
9 Likes
Congrats on pushing the update live.
If you have a moderator turn your 1st post into a wiki post you will then be able to edit it.
moderators - Author is wanting to edit their first post.
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You can edit the first post now.
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Lol! I change my mind a lot so oops?
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I love this so much. I canāt wait to see more!
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An update!
Time to see whatās new.
Thanks! Glad you like it.
The story looks like itās shaping up nicely. 
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The beginning imagery was beautiful, it made for a great immersion into the story within only a few lines- generally though, the story so far is so rich in imagery, itās honestly refreshing
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Thank you! I love writing with a flourish, glad to see it is working out.
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I hope so. I always hate my writing so I rely on you guys!
Has Potential.
Just some continuity errors that need to be fixed, but the story is interesting and eyes catching.
If itās not too much to ask, could you point out these errors? Iām going to fix some of the spelling and the autocorrect ones tonigh so I would appreciate those as well.
Thank you for the support, next update will be late this month. Until then, please enjoy.
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