Stillbourn [previous Stillmoor] - preview [incomplete]


#1

Hi,

I’m slogging away on my game but thought I would put up a preview here so that people could get a look at what I have been doing already; please note that this is not complete, there is some placeholder text and incomplete options, the following also has not yet been implemented:

  • Alteration of player stats depending on choices made.
  • In the completed first chapter player sanity will be altered depending on choices made and background.
  • There will be additional choices added for the two genders (I have mainly concentrated on choices that can be undertaken by both genders at this point).

Interested to get people’s opinions and thoughts on the game so far.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/129688634/stillmoor_demo/web/mygame/index.html

Thanks :slight_smile:


#2

Amazing style with that picks also the book female club is a good add,so keep your good work.


#3

Impressive story, I quite like it


#4

Kudos, Nothing actually negative to say about this, I really like how unique it is, and you may be the first person to use first person point of view, mad respect!


#5

It seems very interesting and is quite well written, it’s just a shame it’s so short.


#6

@Marajade: Many thanks, your suggestion that I should start implementing some of the gender related options at this stage lead to the inclusion of the framework for the book club :slight_smile:
@MIGhunter: Thanks :slight_smile: I made the POV choice because having a narrated talking about past events has been a convention in most fiction I have read dealing with the victorian era.
@Shoelip: Many thanks, the current demo version only covers the events of the first day, there are going to be a number of days in the final game so it should be considerably longer, I was just keen to get some feedback at this stage :slight_smile:


#7

I see you’ve decided to exchange the train journey at the start for something completely different, now I do like what you’ve done so far but I was kind of looking forward to getting on the train, so to speak.
Also I do feel sorry for my poor scarred character, hopefully there will be some ways to make his life somewhat less miserable as the story progresses. I also like the option to be considered insane from the start, even though it seems we cannot presently get anywhere playing that route, as it will hopefully allow my character to disregard some of the rigid Victorian social conventions when it comes to interacting with certain people.


#8

@idonotlikeusernames : Have no fear, the train journey may re-appear in full or in part in a future section of the game.

The game is based on horror/gothic literature so the character is probably not destined for a happy end, however, there are (and will be more) ways to have triumphal moments along the way :slight_smile:

You are absolutely correct, the asylum/insane thread is not really playable at the moment, this is something I will be looking to build on but wanted to finish off some other sections of the game before starting to implement it :slight_smile:


#9

I do realize that, and I was more hoping for bitter sweet myself actually, but finding some way out of the Kensington slums (and wretched poverty) by the end of the game would be nice for my poor character (assuming he actually lives past the end of the game, of course).


#10

@idonotlikeusernames “finding some way out of the Kensington slums” - Oh the irony!


#11

@idonotlikeusernames: I hadn’t considered giving players an option of finding a way of overcoming poverty and working themselves out of the slums; however, since it interests you I will give it some thought :slight_smile:


#12

Update added (mainly to the sections dealing with attempting to contact parents spirits), same URL (reprinted here for convenience):

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/129688634/stillmoor_demo/web/mygame/index.html


#13

@Largejo I haven’t played the game yet, but you might want to change the background. It’s hard to read some of the text on the left side with that image of a street lamp there.


#14

@Drazen, indeed if only our characters could live for a couple more centuries…


#15

Oh, the name’s been changed, I see. ‘Stillbourn,’ nice. =P

The writing’s pretty good and the narrator’s patois, though obviously I’d suggest fixing up overlooked typos at some point.

This almost feels a bit more like the older interactive fiction games where the setting is laid out for you and you’re more or less left to your own devices about where to go and what to do. I like the underlying aimlessness to it, I think it easily plays into the narrator’s situation and the general tone of Gothic horror fiction. Although, I’m not sure I prefer the present tense when you describe the various locations.

I do think getting to know some of the people a bit more first before asking them to the seance and/or social gathering might be good. Or at least a bit more to the summations of the POV’s relationship to everyone. I don’t know if it’s just due to the choices I picked, but I also find Mr. and Mrs. Stillbourn rather blank. Some impression of who they were would be wonderful.

Otherwise, I’m eager for more. I know it’s early yet and I’ve yet to explore all the options, but a touch more sense of menace might be good. The snow and such and mention of the Ripper murders all does a good job, but you might color the narrative a bit more gloomily. I feel like the POV should be somewhat melancholy and see everything through its bleakest lens very much like something out of Poe.

I’m with idontlikeusernames, too; I’m hopeful for that train scene. :wink:


#16

@idonotlikeusernames A couple more centuries? But then we’d be in the future?


#17

Gothic Horror. Plus maybe some Jack the ripper. I’m starting to like you Largejo.


#18

@Drazen, well our characters would need to live quite a a bit longer than one century considering the Victorian era ended at the turn of the twentieth century and we’re now a bit into the twenty first. My knowledge of London is not quite precise enough to know when exactly that neighbourhood began the transition from slum to desirable address. Besides wouldn’t it be fun to watch the transition come round again from slum to affluent area to slum again in a possible future?

If we’re getting involved with Jack the Ripper, I’ve always liked the various conspiracy theories suggesting that the Ripper was a member of the Royal family.


#19

As far as I’m aware it’s always been an affluent area.


#20

I know Wikipedia isn’t always the most reliable of sources, but according to this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Kensington, at least some area called “North Kensington” was at one time a not so well to do part of the city of London, of course as to how “slummy” this area really was at the time, compared to, say the modern and quite infamous banlieues of Paris, I cannot say.