Spellbound: A Ghost Story (WIP) [Updated May 22, 2024]

Spellbound: A Ghost Story is the story of a ghost, who is bound by a spell. (Hint: that’s you.)

It’s primarily a fantasy story—both modern and medieval, with chapters taking place in both eras—with just a dash of mystery thrown in there so I can make it look like this whole thing was really well thought out. You play as a disembodied spirit—a remnant from a much older era, floating listlessly through your seemingly endless (un)life, before getting unwittingly caught up in a magical conspiracy, all while struggling to remember your long-gone life from ages past. For more details, see the Summary header below.


Once upon a time, you were a legend—a warrior of unparalleled skill, who rose from nothing but wielded the power to change everything. To some you were a savior, a shining beacon of hope; to others, a cancer, too stubborn to stamp out. With an army of followers, you waged a decade-long war against the kingdom that slaughtered your family and razed your village to the ground—until finally the day came that you faced the greatest battle of your life, the battle that would tip the scales in your favor, and lead you and your troops down the path to victory.

Then you died.

Betrayed by your closest ally, the one man that stood by you through thick and thin, you were cut down, your soul rent from your body and cast into the world, invisible and unheard. Then your standing army fell, helpless without your command. Without your army, your crusade fell to pieces, just another footnote in history. Seasons changed and ages passed, countries rose and fell, and the world kept turning. You watched it all go by, a silent phantom in an ever-changing world. And there was nothing you could do about it.

That was 800 years ago.

Now, you are here, an age-lost spirit drifting through a world that moved on without you. You currently reside in the vast city of Stillport—if residing is something that you can be said to do, when you don’t sleep or eat. You have no idea how you’ve maintained your sanity all these centuries, though you suspect that the gradual decay of your slowly fading memories has something to do with it. Some days, you remember your ages-past crusade like it was yesterday; other days, you barely remember your own name. Your daily routine is a whole lot of nothing—people-watching, mostly, sometimes reading a book over someone’s shoulder, or slipping into houses to watch television. Mostly, you wait for the day you inevitably fade away forever, forgotten by the world—with dread or with longing, you’re not yet sure which.

Until today. A day like any other, until the explosion. That strange sensation you feel, dragging you toward it, familiar, like a magnet. The blast of dark energy that slays everyone in its vicinity, and shreds your feeble soul to fibers—just like the blast that killed you so long ago. And, of course, the mage—the first one you’ve encountered in centuries, and now, your only link to the rest of the world.

To save your (un)life, you’re forced to bind your soul to her, tethering your existence to the whims of a young, impulsive sorceress who seems determined to risk her own life, and now, by extension, yours. Still, she’s the best shot you’ve got at getting what you want, whatever that may be—conjuring a new body for yourself, learning magic, discovering time travel, or maybe, just maybe, saving the world.

Until then, you’re spellbound.

Major Characters

Romanceable Companions
Your contemporary compatriots, whether you like it or not. After 800 years alone, this is somehow the best company you could find.

  • Valerie Castella
    Age: 23
    Gender: Female
    Magical Specialty: Transmutation
    Romanceable by: Any gender
    Appearance: Fair skin. Average height and build. Shoulder-length auburn hair, hazel eyes flecked with silver, with round glasses. Wears a fancy cap at a jaunty angle, and an olive-green jacket with several pins attached to it, over a plaid flannel shirt. Generally looks like she tried to blend ‘trendy’ with ‘hipster’ and ended up with something that didn’t quite accomplish either one.

    An impulsive and excitable young mage with a penchant for biting off more than she can chew—and your spellbound companion, for better or worse. Haphazardly self-taught, which makes her staunch confidence in her abilities troubling at best and life-threatening at worst (that second one is the part that concerns you). Not as smart as she thinks she is.

  • Rawlin Cortez
    Age: 32
    Gender: Male
    Magical Specialty: Direction (AKA Telekinesis)
    Romanceable by: Male and female
    Appearance: Light brown skin. Tall, lean. Well-groomed black hair with a Van Dyke goatee, dark brown eyes swirling with a hint of purple. Wears a dark blue suit at all times, accompanied by a magus cloak while on magical business.

    A cool and confident magus, savvy negotiator, and typically the most capable person in any given room. The current head of the illustrious Cortez family of magical adepts, despite being the youngest of his generation. Exactly as smart as he thinks he is, and not afraid to show it.

  • Kira Watanabe
    Age: 28
    Gender: Female
    Magical Specialty: Witchcraft
    Romanceable by: Female only
    Appearance: Unusually pallid skin. Average height, unhealthily thin. Long black hair, deep red eyes. Wears a long black gown with feathers adorning her shoulders, and a wide-brimmed witch hat that crooks at the tip. Frowns often.

    A surly and fastidious witch who rarely interacts with other people, and would very much prefer to keep it that way. Despite her relative youth, she earnestly believes that the “old ways” of magic are better, and still insists on mixing her potions in cauldrons, making dangerous contracts with otherworldly beings, and generally being as feared and misunderstood as humanly possible. She is never too far from her imp familiar, Qolvar, which is frankly all the company she needs, thank you very much.

  • Merrow
    Age: Unclear
    Gender: Male
    Magical Specialty: Apparition (AKA Illusion)
    Romanceable by: Any gender
    Appearance: Fair skin. Tall and wiry. Intentionally messy blond hair; eyes are obscured behind a fancy white Venetian-style half-mask. Wears a somewhat ostentatious white suit with gold trim and a cravat.

    A mysterious and eccentric masked man who somehow worms his way into your company. Generally regarded as both convivial and melancholic, in more or less equal measure. He seems unusually interested in you, or perhaps he just likes the cut of your jib (he claims it’s the latter). May or may not be harboring a deadly secret.

  • Dr. Andrei Malikov
    Age: 31
    Gender: Male
    Magical Specialty: Theory
    Romanceable by: Female and nonbinary
    Appearance: Lightly tanned skin. Somewhat short for a man; average build. Messy ash-brown hair, blue eyes with round glasses. Wears plain, professional clothing that he probably hasn’t properly ironed in a while.

    A cheeky, enthusiastic physicist and tinkerer who finds himself on the wrong side of history. Nevertheless, a genuinely affable man who passionately believes that there exists an undiscovered theory that can scientifically reconcile magical principles with Newtonian physics. Always eager to discuss and debate his theories with others, even (or especially) those who disagree with him. Your existence fascinates him more than is, perhaps, entirely healthy.

  • Det. Farah Kensington
    Age: 27
    Gender: Female
    Magical Specialty: N/A
    Romanceable by: Male and nonbinary
    Appearance: Dark skin. Above average height, athletic build. Bushy black hair, haphazardly tied back; light brown eyes. Dresses professionally while on the job, but switches to a black leather jacket and scarf when off-duty.

    A passionate young police detective who (initially) has no knowledge of magic, but quickly intuits that there’s something deeply unnatural about the mass deaths around the city. As such, she has dedicated herself to a one-woman hunt for truth and justice. Unfortunately for you, her prime suspect at the moment is your hapless partner in crime, Valerie Castella.

In addition to the above six, there will be one (1) secret RO, whose identity shall remain hidden for their own protection.

Past Associates
Flashback characters. Present in the past.

  • Callum Vance
    Age: Same as you
    Gender: Male
    Magical Specialty: Animation (AKA Spirit Magic)
    Appearance: Pale. Average build, on the tall side. A mop of black hair that naturally looks good, even though he does nothing to style it. Stormy gray eyes that later start to swirl with black as his magical power increases. Kind of a pretty boy. Wears dark clothing.

    Your most trusted companion, until he wasn’t. Secretive, irreverent, and smug since the day you met him, and yet he never gave you a reason to truly distrust him, until the day he slaughtered half your army and ripped your soul out of your body. Worse, you can’t help but notice that the recent attacks on Stillport bear an eerie similarity to his style of magic…

  • Charlotte Townsend
    Age: One year younger
    Gender: Female
    Appearance: Fair skin. Slight build; short as a teenager, but later undergoes a growth spurt and becomes rather tall. Thin face, delicate features. Long wavy strawberry blonde hair, light green eyes. Tends to wear greens and blues. Likes frilly, feminine clothing, sometimes to the point of impracticality.

    Callum’s childhood sweetheart, and a royal pain in your ass for a significant portion of your life. Pompous and elitist, and possibly the most stubborn human being you have ever encountered in over 800 years of existence. You feel like you’ve forgotten a lot about her over the years…or maybe you’re just willfully blocking her out of your memory.

  • Dyren of Landry
    Age: Six years your junior
    Gender: Male
    Appearance: Fair skin. Lanky, tall. Extremely unkempt blond hair. Blue-gray eyes. Generally looks gaunt and poorly-rested. Dresses simply.

    Your best scout, despite his relative youth. Somber and skittish, and perennially distrustful of magic—not helped by his persistent animosity with Callum. He really looked up to you, until you got him killed.


Divided by subject matter, for your convenience.

General FAQ
  • How long will this game be?

    The plan is to have ten chapters for each timeframe—both present-day and the medieval-era flashbacks—plus the prologue and epilogue (and Chapter 0, I guess, if you want to count that). Given the length of the game so far and how much more I have left to go, I honestly suspect that the whole game will be somewhere upwards of 1,000,000 words. But we’ll see.

  • How often do you plan to update?

    Honestly, my work ethic is pretty garbage, so expect updates scarcely and sporadically. The day I announce an official update schedule is the day you’ll know that I’ve finally been killed and impersonated.

  • When will this be finished?

    I have no earthly idea. Given the length of the game and the snail-pace at which I’m writing it, probably years from now.

  • Is there, or will there ever be, a Discord/Patreon/Tumblr/Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Subreddit/Myspace/LiveJournal for this game?

    There is a Discord and Ko-fi, both of which you can find in the External Link(s) section. I’ll consider Patreon if I ever decide that I have the time to actually make bonus content worth paying money for.

  • Wait, how do you already have a Frequently Asked Questions section when nobody has actually asked you any of these questions yet?

    Hey, I didn’t say people asked me these questions! They’re frequently asked in general!

    Well, except the ones that are about my game specifically. I guess those are just excuses for me to talk to myself.

  • Why even bother writing a FAQ when nobody is going to read it, and everybody is just going to ask all these questions anyway?

    So I can shame people for not reading it, I guess. Consider yourself one of the lucky few to avoid this ill fate.

Setting FAQ
  • Where does Spellbound take place? Do real-life countries exist, and is Stillport in one of them?

    The world that Spellbound takes place in is technically fictitious, but it’s still essentially a version of Earth, and (at least in the modern day) a pretty close approximation of the world we live in. The countries in our world probably don’t exist in exactly the forms we’re familiar with, but since international politics aren’t really relevant to the present-day storyline, I don’t feel particularly inclined to define that one way or the other. I guess the best I can give you is that Stillport is probably somewhere in the Spellbound equivalent of the US, just because I’m from there, and therefore all the terminology and dialect in the game will be American.

    I guess this doesn’t really explain why the characters in the past era all talk like modern-day Americans too, when the flashbacks implicitly take place in the equivalent of medieval Europe, but I’m willing to leave that one up to people’s suspensions of disbelief.

  • Shouldn’t the MC be speaking Middle English? What about the flashbacks? Why do they all sound so modern?

    This is a fair concern, and if I’m being honest, I don’t have a great explanation for it, but consider that Middle English would be completely incomprehensible to anyone today. Remember how little you understood of Shakespeare when you first studied it? The MC comes from a time that’s even older than that.

    The alternative on my end is that I could render the MC’s speech (and that of all the flashback characters) in vaguely old-timey English—which would most likely resemble language from just a century or two ago, in order to be legible—but this wouldn’t really be that much closer to reality, and while it may feel better to some, I honestly don’t think it’s worth the time and effort it would take on my end to reconfigure all the past characters’ speech while still trying to maintain distinct voices and speech patterns for everyone.

    If it helps, you can assume that the MC picked up on the evolution of their language over time, and their memories of their past are filtered through this new perception—which is perhaps a tad implausible, but personally, I consider this an acceptable break from reality, like aliens in a sci-fi story all speaking English, or my above point about how Spellbound’s universe is arbitrarily similar to ours despite featuring different countries.

  • How does magic work? Can anyone learn magic? Can I?

    This requires a more complex answer than I can give right now (there will probably be some optional exposition about this in-game, if you’re still interested by then), but the long and short of it is that magic flows through all people, but only people born with the “gift” can learn to actually harness it. As a ghost, you’re sort of an exception—since your current state of existence is inherently magical in nature, as is the bond you form with Valerie, you’ll gain the option to learn a limited selection of magical effects, including a few that approximate what one could consider “spells”.

  • What do the magical specialties mean? Are there different kinds of magic?

    This information will be covered in optional info dumps in Chapter II of the story. The short answer, though, is that there are twelve schools of magic—Conjuration, Transmutation, Dispersion, Direction, Conversion, Disruption, Divination, Apparition, Vexation, Amplification, Animation, and Affliction—sorted into four branches of three schools each, known as the Weave, the Whelm, the Will, and the Wight, which correspond to the elements of matter, energy, thought, and life/soul, respectively.

    Mages have different strengths and weaknesses when it comes to the various schools of magic, and while all mages are theoretically capable of mastering any or all of the schools, most specialize in one and dabble in two or three others (often, but not always, within the same branch). For example, Cortez is a master of Direction, but he’s also proficient in Conversion and Disruption, all three of which are schools in the Whelm branch.

Game FAQ
  • How do I get ____ to like me? I’m always nice/supportive with them, but their relationship stats aren’t going up!

    It’s definitely possible that it’s a bug or misjudgment on my part (even I make mistakes sometimes!), but it’s also worth considering the possibility that being nice or supportive just isn’t what the character wants or needs in that scenario. Every character is different, and the simplest solution isn’t always the correct one—not everyone wants mindless praise, for example.

    My recommendation is to take some time and put some thought into figuring out who each character is and what kind of behavior they’d likely be receptive to. This might take some trial and error when you’re first getting to know someone (not everyone is open with their feelings, after all), but my hope is that over time, readers will be able to identify patterns in the ROs’ tastes on their own.

    If you’re really struggling with this and need some hints, though, feel free to make a post on the subject and maybe I’ll give you some pointers…if I’m feeling generous.

  • How do I romance ____? How does romance work in general?

    So, romance is in the early stages of development right now, and some changes could still happen. It’s also a little complicated compared to other systems you might be used to! But for those interested in the nitty-gritty, the way I’m currently implementing it is this:

    There are three stats that relate to romance with a given character: the flirt stat, which measures how often you flirt, and two attraction stats, one that measures your attraction to the character in question (as determined by your choices), and one that measures their attraction to you. The three stats are technically independent from one another; flirting won’t necessarily increase either attraction stat, for example.

    Generally speaking, the first attraction stat (MC to RO) will change the way the narration describes the character in question and unlock flirting options. The second attraction stat (RO to MC) can be increased in many ways, flirting only being the most obvious—but sometimes, just being nice can increase an RO’s attraction to the MC. Increasing this stat will never actually lock you into a romance, but some of the ROs might develop crushes on you even if you didn’t necessarily intend for them to. (Sorry for the people who don’t like this. But don’t worry, you can let them down easy!)

    ROs will respond differently to the MC depending on their attraction stat, as well as how often the MC has flirted with them, but I should note this: neither of those stats are actually necessary to initiate the romance. My plan is for the MC to make a final choice on whom to romance in Chapter IX (you won’t be locked in, or out of, any of the romances before this). If the RO in question has a high enough attraction stat at this point, you’re set; if not, the RO will either reconsider their feelings toward you and realize that they might like you after all (if you then pass a stat check based on their relationship values), or they’ll, well, reject you.

    Hopefully, this system will work well enough that the latter won’t happen too often.

    The secret RO, of course, is an exception to all these rules, because that romance is structured differently from all the other romance paths. But that’s all I’m going to say on that front for now!

  • So romance is going to be slow-burn, then?

    I guess so. I’m aware that’s not everyone’s preference when it comes to romance, but it’s the only kind I have even the remotest idea how to write, so it’s what I’m sticking with.

  • Why are some of the romances gender-locked?

    Because I write my characters with canon sexualities.

    I understand why some people don’t like this, but it’s how I prefer to do things, and that’s probably never going to change. Sorry if that’s not your cup of tea.

  • Will the secret RO be similarly restricted by gender?

    No, the secret RO is pan.

  • Who is the secret RO, anyway?

    Well, it wouldn’t be very “secret” if I just told you—

  • It’s Callum, isn’t it?

    Uhh, I mean, I’m not definitively ruling that possibility out, but—

  • What about the villain? Can I romance the villain??

    I haven’t even said who the villain is in this post!

  • But can I romance them??


  • Oh man, I love violent, unhealthy romances with selfish, homicidal bad guys! I can’t wait!!

    …Well, you’ll have to.

    Also, that’s not a question.

  • Hey, can I be the selfish, homicidal bad guy? I’m so sick of all these games that force you to play as a decent, reasonable person who doesn’t kill or manipulate anyone!

    …Uh. Right. Apparently a lot of people feel this way? Which is, you know, completely normal and not at all unnerving.

    In all seriousness, though, I guess my answer would be…sort of. There will never be an option to play a sociopathic, serial-killing psycho. (Apologies to all the serial killers reading this.) The protagonist is fundamentally written as a character who believes (or once believed) in something, and their entire backstory is fueled by an innate desire to right perceived wrongs in the world. However, there will be options later in the game that could be considered “evil” in the deontological sense, where you can go against the conventional definition of “good” and make selfish, extreme, or even ruthless decisions—and people might die as a result.

    Hopefully that’s close enough to satiate your bloodlust!

  • Will you make ____ an RO?

    The only ROs, now and in the future, are the ones mentioned under the “Romanceable Companions” section—nobody else will be “made” into one. If the character you’re asking about isn’t one of the six main companions, your best bet is to hold onto that desperate glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, the object of your desire will happen to be the secret RO.

  • Speaking of which, who is the secret RO? Is it—

    Next question!

  • Will there be any poly options?

    No. Romance in general is already pretty far outside my wheelhouse, so I don’t expect this to change in the foreseeable future, either.

  • What about sexual content?

    Probably not. There might be some implied sex, but definitely nothing explicit.

  • Why are all these questions about romance?

    Because that’s what people care about, I guess.

  • But there’s stuff in this game besides romance, right?

    Yes, very much so. Romance is 100% optional, and even in the romance paths, the explicitly romantic content will actually comprise a pretty small percentage of the game.

    Buuuut, I know a lot people like to plan their whole playthroughs around who they’ll eventually end up with, so I’m fine with clarifying stuff on that front.

  • Like who the secret RO is? I’m really hoping it’s a bad guy—

    Oh, look, it’s the end of the FAQ section!

If you have any questions that aren’t listed here, feel free to ask, and maybe I’ll answer them! (But no promises.) And who knows—if you ask something particularly uninspired, it might even get added to this already-way-too-long FAQ!

Content Warning

Stuff depicted in uploaded chapters:

  • Semi-graphic violence, mass death, and war
  • Intense, traumatic scenarios
  • Possible suicidal ideation (depending on player choices)
  • Moderate profanity (f-word and below)
  • Classism, sexism/chauvinism, mentions of other prejudicial attitudes
  • Mental and emotional child abuse (mostly, but not exclusively, limited to accounts rather than onscreen depictions)
  • Non-violent bullying and harassment
  • Mental illness, including (but not necessarily limited to) depression, anxiety, narcissism, bipolar disorder, and PTSD

Stuff depicted in future chapters (subject to change/expand):

  • Transphobia, possible homophobia

Update Log
May 22, 2024

With a glorious ~322,000 words, we finally soar over the coveted 300,000 mark, only to see yet more peaks looming overhead, mocking the futility of our efforts. Will we ever reach the pinnacle? The gothic sensibility lurking within all our hearts says ‘nay’—we are doomed to an eternity of dark, existential dread, that no amount of words can ever be sated.

A grim truth, to be sure—but an honest one. The world, sadly, moves on.

November 23, 2023

At ~293,500, the game crests ever closer to the looming milestone or 300,000. Those of us who live in the United States to give thanks to this great accomplishment-in-the-making. The rest of the world, meanwhile, cries out in thankless futility, as they watch the deathly foundation crumble beneath.

April 1, 2023

Actually, the game didn’t update today. Any claims to the contrary are elaborate lies set forth by the shadow government. People will claim that the story now has ~255,000 words, but doesn’t that sound like a suspiciously rounded-off number? It’s all a hoax, people! A hoax!!!

January 23, 2023

Years have passed and eras have come and gone. At a now-staggering ~216,000 words, the story shambles on, even as the world forgets. Will the next update come in 2025? You’ll just have to wait and find out!

August 27, 2020

In this very special Back to School edition of Spellbound: A Ghost Story, the story reaches for textbook levels of “way too long”. It is now ~165,000 words, unfortunately falling short of Anson Arcturus’s most prolific works. Somehow, we’re still not done with Chapter II yet.

June 20, 2020

The saga of magical misery continues. The story stands tall at ~143,000 words, built on a crumbling foundation of dust and sand. Bystanders walk by and marvel at the creation, exclaim at its grand magnificence! Meanwhile, a tiny creak echoes in the bedrock.

May 10, 2020

The past has been made present, as the story crosses the 100,000 word line, now resting at a comfortable ~117,000. We’re literally only ~10% done with this nonsense, how is this so long already???

April 12, 2020

A chocolate update has been buried in the ground, just in time for Easter. The story now totals ~97,000 words, slowly toppling under its own weight. People look onward out of morbid curiosity alone, desperate to see what fresh hell hath been wrought. And all the while, the Easter Bunny cackles from the shadows, his diabolical plan finally put into action.

April 1, 2020

Chapter I is finally over. The story stands at ~70,000 words, which is about as long as some of the whole, completed games in CoG. My audience has been played for fools, as the April Fools update necessitated, and they all feel horribly taken advantage of, grinding progress on the story to a halt. This topic is now an apocalyptic wasteland, and this is the only record of its tragic existence. Remember us.

February 12, 2020

Chapter I-2 has been released to the public. The current build of the game contains ~52,000 words, which means the length of the whole game has been re-estimated to “even longer than before, somehow”. Scientists are still wondering how this story got made in the first place.

January 22, 2020

Does the original posting count as an update? I contend that it does.

The first build of the game includes the prologue through the first third(?) of Chapter I, clocking in at ~35,000 words. The prologue alone is over 20,000 words, so I anticipate the whole game being somewhere approximately around the ballpark of “way too long”. Here’s hoping my readers have long attention spans!

External Link(s)

Discord (if you feel like listening to me talk about inane nonsense and/or Spellbound trivia)
Ko-fi (if you feel like contributing to my soul coffers and/or demonic ritual fund)

…And that’s it for now! Maybe someday I’ll make other stuff worth posting here.

And so, without further ado, the demo. Let me know what you think! Or just ignore all my flaws and mindlessly praise me. I’m fine with that too.


All right, I’ll give it a shot: I haven’t even played your demo yet but just from reading your post, I’m already half in-love with you and your story. :sparkling_heart: I adore your sense of humor, and the story premise just, wow, really scratches an itch I didn’t know I had. Fantasy, romance, and angst? A colorful cast of characters? Playing as a defeated hero? Alternating chapters taking place in the past and present? I LOVE IT.

I’m not usually one to play evil characters (because then I feel bad) but I am very excited about this. A lot of times my “good” characters have wished they could make selfish decisions.

Well, I’ve got to say, it’s working. Your worldbuilding and your characters look very thought out to me! :+1:Rawlin and Merrow particularly intrigue me.

Huh, I have a sneaking suspicion who this is—

Oh crap, you’ve predicted this!

Anyways, sorry to just pop in and only make comments based on your post but I should really start paying attention to my physics lecture before it ends. :sweat_smile: I’ll be back with real feedback in a couple of hours, I swear!


ohhh god. i absolutely love this. thank you, that was seriously enjoyable. I really wish callum is alive somehow so i can flip my hair at him and be like, bitch u thought…but now that i think about it maybe he may have done that on purpose just to be a torturous asshat. Felt really bad for that subordinate who died on us. I wanted to keep him in my pocket for being so adorable ugh :sob:


So I love it can’t wait to see more even though I was warned I loved callum,untill I didn’t. Break my heart author :broken_heart: seriously great job, it looks promising and I will follow it. Thank you for your hard work and keep it up :smiley:


If any of them are fans of Havenstone’s XoR series they will wait this long:


Thanks for the support, everyone! (Well, all four of you, at least.) Just a few million more comments like these and maybe you’ll be able to accomplish the impossible task of convincing me that I’m actually talented at something!

(Nah, but seriously, thanks. Joke aside, I was extremely anxious to put this out there, and now that feeling’s gone! …For now, at least.)

Pretty sure you’re the only one. :wink: But thanks anyway!

Listen, I know how people on this forum think. You all see a smug, murderous narcissist and immediately think “yeah, I’d hit that”. Don’t think I don’t see you!

Meanwhile, I’m over here laughing at the fact that none of you will ever realize that the secret RO is actually the museum manager.

See, now, this is gonna be really awkward a few hours from now when you come back and realize that I put way more work into my forum posts, and the actual story is an enormous farce. But you won’t be able to take back what you said, because I’ve now immortalized it in quotation format.

This whole thing is a gigantic con, is basically what I’m saying. And I’m sorry to say you’re the first sucker to fall for it.

To be clear, Callum 100% died at the end of the prologue. This fact is not to be disputed.

But then, technically, so did you. So who knows?


Oh, just you wait. :smiling_imp:

My secret mission with this story is to make people wait 800 years themselves, so they will all be as old as the MC by the time it’s finished. Only then will I be able to create a feeling of empathy and immersion for my audience.

…I guess this also means I need to betray and kill you all, so it’s really true to the narrative. So look forward to that, too.


oh my goddd… I love this so much. I love when the MC is not a /human/ or /alive/. I don’t know why I felt so shocked that Callum betrayed me, even before when I read the warning. I hope Callum is alive just so I kick him in the groin.


Seriously it’s beautifully written and tragic you’ve captured so many emotions
So you did a great job


I’m going to echo @Raindoll by saying that the opening post hooked me before I even played the demo. I really like the premise (excited to romance Valerie) and can’t wait to see this story continued! Good luck with the writing, I really love it so far!


i haven’t had a chance to read the demo yet, but i read the FAQs and i loved it :joy: it got me cackling lmao


I love what you’ve written so far, can’t wait to see what happens next. I probably shouldn’t have read it while being so tired. I misread the name Callum, I thought it wrote “Calcium” (I’ve been studying chemistry all day) and now wherever I see his name my brain always reads calcium first :joy:


Sounds awsome gonna try the demo

This was an interesting beginning! I liked how you started with the MC’s final day and explored the different relationships they have with Dyren, Callum, etc. and their place as a knight/rebel, as it helped show the stark difference between their past and their present. I really liked the contrasting stats you used, especially the hard/soft, light/cool auras, as it allowed for a dynamic MC whose outlook can shift as the years as a ghost change them. I also liked the dominant hand question, as it allowed for character creation without breaking up the narrative.

If I had one complaint is that if the player chooses all the options that distances the MC from Dyren, or have them focus on the present, the sudden thoughts of Dyren’s home/looking for him on the Landry display seem somewhat forced. At the same time, a MC that’s past-focused seems like they’d also think about their quartermaster since they had been working together for ten years (and could possibly have been the one to kill them).

I enjoyed the code comments by the way. :wink:

A few other things I noticed

“If you say so. But take of yourself. I mean it.”
Should this be “take care”?

Then your mind shuts off, and the world goes black.
“shuts off” feels too modern of a phrase here.

“Hold on. I may have played along with this before, but I’m not going to keep indulging your amateur detective nonsense. I’m done.”
Perhaps there should be a similar option for those whose relationship with Valerie isn’t so bad – I was playing a hotheaded MC who hated magic, so it would make sense for them to outright say they don’t want to work with her/be involved in anything magic, but the choices I made didn’t decrease Valerie’s fondness stat so much that I was able to get this option.

Landry was Dyren’s hometown; I’d like to pay my respects.
This option reads as though the MC is reflecting on their past for the past’s sake, so I thought it was odd it doesn’t change their past/present stat.

The rate at which my memories fade is worrisome. Hopefully, seeing mementos of my past will keep me focused.
This option, meanwhile, reads to me as though the MC is reflecting on their past so they don’t become mindless in the present – which then conflicts with the sentence and added percentage to the past stat.

Looking forward to the rest of chapter one! :relaxed:


Really enjoyed what you have so far. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Oh man, I haven’t even finished the demo yet and I already love this wip! Very good!

Anyone else think that Callum didn’t really want to betray you?? Is the villain an evil sentient jewel?? Like, it enhances people’s worse qualities??


Must’ve been quite a shock when Calcium broke your bones instead of growing them. :skull_and_crossbones:

Hmm. I hadn’t thought I’d mentioned Dyren too much during that part of the story. Perhaps it’s a miscommunication on my part? This may not have been clear enough (I’ll look back at it and see if there are adjustments I can/should make), but Dyren isn’t the only connection to Landry that the MC has. They were actually there for some of the Witch Hunts. This is why I only listed Dyren as one potential option for why the MC might be interested in the exhibit.

As for looking for his name on the display, I intended this as more of a “see if you can identify anything you would recognize” type of thing, with Dyren being at the forefront simply because he’s the part you happen to remember the most clearly on that particular day. (Which ties into the player having just gone through the sequence depicting the final battle where Dyren was present, etc.) I’ll review this to see if there’s a way I can make it less forced for players who don’t particularly care for Dyren, though.

Regarding the quartermaster, there may be some opportunities to think about them later on, but in this specific instance, neither Alden nor Gale have any connection to Landry, and weren’t even present at the time. It’s also worth noting that neither one is very important to the story overall, so to be honest, they sometimes slip my mind if they’re not directly present in a given scene. But you make a good point about the longevity of the relationship, so I’ll keep that in mind in the future!

Definitely a good idea! I’d originally intended that option to be an all-purpose “don’t want anything to do with this” option, but then realized that the way I’d written it came across as far too harsh to be believable for people who’d been friendly up to that point—so I restricted it to people who explicitly had a poor relationship with Valerie and called it a day.

…Except then I forgot to write in another option for people who have a problem with the situation more than the person. Oops.

Will hopefully get around to implementing this (and fixes for your other notes) in the next update.

That’s an interesting theory.


I just finished it, and it’s really good!

And lol, I’m probably wrong, but that jewels still suspect af tho.


It took a while to get through the prologue, but wow, I’m seriously impressed. Everything feels so well thought out.

Your WIP is simply impressive! I really enjoyed it :slight_smile:

Haven’t tried the demo yet, but I really want to comment on the faq first. I’m rolling on my couch over here and my family is giving me that look:joy: Humor is on point. :ok_hand:

(I swear I’ll give hopefully helpful feedback… Just give me a moment :laughing:)

Edit: Wow I really love this! On my “WIPs to keep tabs on” list permanently. No feedback here (that hasn’t been mentioned) so just going to say…you deserve all the mindless praise. :laughing: If Callum really does come back…he’s getting killed again. No guilt tripping will save him. Valerie is the new best friend. :laughing: