Just finished playing again. I like it even though it is still, as @Zolataya pointed out, still moving along too fast (pun potentially intended, oh my).
Take you time with the scenes, you got a good foundation but the pacing needs work. Such as the meeting, it is like the opening if you bypass the background information - I found myself there, wondering who this guy is and why am I trusted with this, a potential kidnapping. As a reader/player I felt I needed more information and more time to process it. While an author usually strive to be concise and deliver information quickly it can be overdone, in my opinion. Spin out the scenes more, elaborate. Not with empty spaces, so to speak, but with information that you no doubt have in your head - and that us players do not, unless you tell us.
Also agreed with the take on the old man that I may or may not resent, depending on what I choose earlier.
The basic idea is good, as is the ‘plot’ of the first mission - it’s the the pacing need work. You can do it, I’m sure, sorry if my feedback is a bit confused or such, I am no expert at these things. Just don’t give up, all right?