First attempt. Superhero story


#1

Hey guys,

I’ve uploaded a quick proof of concept to https://dashingdon.com/. It’s a simple, short superhero story I wrote with my 7 year old in mind.

It’s my first attempt at interactive fiction.

Would love to get your opinion/critique. Here’s the link.

https://dashingdon.com/go/1141

Mark


#3

Not bad! Though an early crit would definitely letting the reader have the option to pick their super hero name as opposed to choosing from three choices. I like the idea of having a stat for public opinion of your hero,though!


#4

Thanks for the response. I thought of the “choose your own name” idea. Wasn’t concerned at the time. Easily implemented, though.


#5

No worries, always nice to see another super hero game out there, and to be honest there’s not too many COG’s overly suited to younger audiences atm, so that works too.


#6

It was really great - easy to read and fun, and it looks like most of the kids it’s aimed at could play without adult help. I loved the choose your adventure type of books when I was that age so I think you’ve started a winner.


#7

Thanks.

I tried to keep most of the word choice easy enough to read but also included a few harder words for vocabulary building. I just thought right now that it wouldn’t be all that hard to have different difficulty levels. The reader could choose at the beginning and certain words could change based upon the level. As well as different calculations for the stats.

Ah, the possibilities are endless!


#8

It good yeah the photos with the kid made me laugh


#9

Thanks. I think lots of pictures will help kids want to read/play.


#10

It’s a cute game, I think kids will like it when it’s finished. You could replace some of the clip art with illustrations - it would be really effective to do them in a sort of child’s drawing style, which would be quick and easy. (That also cuts out the problem of attribution and sourcing for whatever photos you would’ve used.)

One note: the game is leaning slightly towards being a little boy rather than any kid. “Captain” is more or less unisex, but you’ve got a Mr. in your list of super-names without a corresponding girl’s choice.


#11

Yeah I think everything would be easily drawn yourself. Or you could get your kid to draw the illustrations! :slight_smile: (I just loved http://www.bontegames.com/2015/09/a-new-bontegame-where-is-cat.html that has illustrations drawn by the game makers children.)


#12

As it is, it was written with my son in mind, so those choices were for him, not a larger audience. Changing those to fit a larger audience would be simple. I also have a daughter, so I probably would have eventually gotten there anyway.

For what it’s worth, the images chosen were set to usable on Google images, though that’s not trustworthy enough for commercial publication. Having someone draw illustrations would be awesome if I get to that point.

COG frowns upon pictures anyway, so I doubt they would host it, though if they/we/whoever could figure out a way to make images usable across platforms, adding children’s stories to the mix would be a good thing, opening up interactive fiction to those just learning to read. Or parents reading to their children.


#13

Stick figures, anyone?


#14

That would work perfectly well with the format of your game! :slight_smile: The pictures you’ve picked are fairly simply. I do like the idea of a kid’s story that’s illustrated.