Red Candle {WIP}


First things first, Demon Manor isn’t dead :stuck_out_tongue: I just have no ideas currently for where it can go. However, another story in my sights has been dancing around like crazy.

At first I was going to make it for RPG Maker 2003, but then I found out I had to do all my sprites from scratch again after working on them for 10 agonizing hours. At that point, I went “LolNOEP” and switched to ChoiceScript. I will probably make one for RPG Maker VX (which I’d used before 2003) but only time will tell.

Red Candle, unfortunately for MC Customizer nuts (kinda like myself :P), already has a decided protagonist. However, I hope that better character development than what is in Demon Manor will make up for it.

Currently the game is only at the prologue state; It doesn’t even have real choices yet. I wanted to use a prologue to set the scene. I hope that I will add real choices in Chapter 1.



It has potential but it’s not my style of cog. Good pacing though and no grammar mistakes that I can tell.


I like it so far, definitely interested to find out just what the heck is going on in that house. I don’t usually like thriller/horror/whatever things, but this has caught my interest. There were a few spelling errors here and there, but they were so far in between that I don’t even remember where they were, so good.

Anyway, I’m excited to see where this goes. Good luck writing it!


@Beezlebub and @SpaceLesbian Thank you for your feedback :smiley:


I sense a theme with red things… so far I like it. The mystery thickens…


Maybe the red hair?


As long as someone or something is trying to kill my MC I’m going to like it :stuck_out_tongue:


@Scrivener Originally “Red Candle” was a placeholder, but the name stuck so I changed the plot to suit. The mansion itself is called the “Red Candle” mansion :stuck_out_tongue:

@Aera I haven’t got all the kinks planned out quite yet, but here’s a few things I want to have attempt to kill you:

-Drowned Girl
-Several rooms
-More characters (Haven’t worked it out entirely; Drowned Girl is one of them but still deciding things)
-2 endings have deaths
-Incorrectly solving a puzzle will occasionally kill you

I will try to do some actual choice writing tonight; I will have an inventory system soon set up, but I’ll have a slot for every individual item rather than what I tried to do in Demon Manor (and subsequently failed at since the inventory system was one big error XD).


Chapter 1 is up, but there may be errors. I’m still fairly new to ChoiceScript, so could you please tell me exactly what error you get?

Chapter 1 features
-Exposition to plot (Perhaps too much; should I cut down on it?)
-Deaths depending on what I deem a “stupid” decision
-More backstory to Kiara and Gabrielle
-Plot twist at the end :smiley:


Don’t cut down on the plot, it’s getting good!
Well played at the end. =D>


@WubWub117 Ah thank you :smiley: I just thought I was exposing too much in the first chapter.


This reminds me of Coroline. A sad lonely girl is brought in by a seemingly kindly woman only to be another pawn in her sick and twisted game


I love it! I agree with @WubWub117. Please don’t cut the plot short! You’ve done great so far even though it was only a small amount. Also, I hope I don’t sound weird when I say this but the death scenes you want to happen to the MC remind me of the second chances from the Nancy Drew games. :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t know why… :expressionless:


@undead I’m afraid I haven’t watched Coraline, but I since I’m borrowing DVDs today I’ll take a peek for it and see if I’ve unguardedly made it too similar. Although watching subject usually leads to me taking things I liked from it whoops

@Miki I was worried I was exposing too much of the plot in the first chapter, not how much plot there was overall (There’s still quite a bit I want to expose, such as more behind Annabelle and Michael) The deaths, aside from Drowned Girl, I see as either:
-Resident Evil-style deaths
-1980-1990 adventure game style deaths (which Nancy Drew may be under alongside ShadowGate and Amiga, there’s also another game I remember whose title I forgot :stuck_out_tongue: I’ll look around later)

I took the game to a friend at school and he said “the writing’s good, but put in less deaths” even though there’s only like, two deaths so far :stuck_out_tongue: Don’t worry, the plot twist hasn’t killed you, I just haven’t written Chapter 2 nor set up a proper “the demo ends here” screen. Currently no matter what you do will get you that screen.


You’ve done an outstanding job so you haven’t put too much into the plot. :smiley: To be honest, the style of Red Candle reminds me of Fatal Frame and Silent Hill. I have goosebumps now. :-SS Then again thats just my two cents.


Well then I kinda failed for where I wanted to go :smiley: I was hoping for a Mad Father atmosphere. Oh well :smiley: If it’s a horror game I’m happy. I just thought it was strange.

On another note, how would you guys feel about some more visuals? The game is in an anime style (Two characters introduced in Chapter 2 will have candy-hued hair and/or eyes) so the visuals would be too, but it may be easier to see how the characters look. Plus it would give me a good artist’s workout :stuck_out_tongue:


Why did it end?! :stuck_out_tongue: Lols i don’t think you spoiled the plot at all.

Yeah i agree with Miki with the silent hill kinda feel, but i like it :stuck_out_tongue:


Lol, you’re right about the Mad Father feel in the game. Especially, the scene with the mutilated boy reminds me of those creepy zombies who chase after you in the corridor. :))

Visuals? That would make it more eye-popping. :slight_smile:


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I like the game… Has that nice classic true-to-the-roots survival horror feel. I even like lack of customization, because while it’s great for a lot of games, there are times I prefer to see how a story will flow around a set character. I don’t know if you’re going to make a sequel at some point, but with set characters, it allows connection to the previous game… Even if your not playing the same character. The trick, I think, is to make subtle references and see if someone notices. Even if you don’t make a sequel, you could still set your self up by making reference to a character you won’t meet, or an event that already happened, then include them in the next game…
That’s my late-night advice for the (now late) night.

As long as we’re going with remind ofs, this game reminds me of the old school Resident Evils, back before the taint which recently came upon it.


@Aera It was 9:30pm when I finished Chapter 1, so I was like “noo I have school tomorrow I need to sleep” XD
@Miki That was sorta what I was going for in that instance. XD I will get started on a few visuals, then.
@Doctor I’m writing Chapter 2 now so that may be why the errors are there, since I’m trying new things. I’m not too worried right now as I can always go back and correct them once the chapter’s done. Funny you should mention a sequel; I do want to do one. I have secret plans for the true ending, and the second story would derive off of that.
I’ve played RE2 and RE6, and while I liked RE6 more as an action game, RE2 certainly frightened me more than RE6 :stuck_out_tongue: