Just finished adding Chapter 4 to the play-test!!! I’m so happy to finally be done with it!
Also, do you guys like the new style for the play-test, or should I try a different one? It’s currently set to story first…
Just finished adding Chapter 4 to the play-test!!! I’m so happy to finally be done with it!
Also, do you guys like the new style for the play-test, or should I try a different one? It’s currently set to story first…
I like the new style since it matches the story more, in my opinion. I found some grammar mistakes or at least one. “After everyone elese had been settled, tan cowboy who seemed to be overseeing the others comes over with a paint and a palomino.”
So obviously else is misspelled. I don’t think tan cowboy is a name so I suggest putting an article adjective(an,a,the). Also you put “a paint”, but I don’t know if that is a horse or something, so I just thought I would point that out.
Yay! Someone else likes the new style!
Anyway, thank you for helping with the play-test!
I’ve made some changes to chapter 2 and will update the play-test later today…
A paint horse is a horse with large patches of different colors, usually white and some form of brown…
Here’s an example:
[Meet the American Paint Horse - Todays Equine | Horses, American paint horse, Horse painting] (Meet the American Paint Horse - Todays Equine | Horses, American paint horse, Horse painting)
Also, here’s a horse color chart…
Oh ok that’s awesome.
I would like to announce my new co-author/ contributor- @thumper !!!
Here’s to many more chapters and success in the contest.
I love the way the relationship building is set up. It alone gets me coming back!
Aww, thank you so much! I really wanted that to be a major part of the story, as much as figuring out the mysteries.
I also like the secluded ranch type of scene! The romances are great too!
I’m so glad you like the story so far! Chapter 5 is done and I’ll have it added to the play-test soon
YES!! OMG i’m so happy!
Awesome! Excuse me while I indulge in the latest update!
I found a mistake
"Oookaay…" she says, “I’m busy with something right now, so…?” “Oookaay…Good for you.” she says, "I’m busy with something right now, so…?"
This was when you talk to Sei during the start of the game.
Thank-you, it’s fixed now!!
Hey guys, really excited about that chapter release and even more so for number six coming along! So because of the kinda opaque nature of some of the updates-changes to playtest- I’m here to babble about it a wee bit!
A few things things changed around for Sei and Kylie’s initial conversation and description. This part was a bit of a mess, but it should be all good now. Hopefully.
We also pretty much changed the entire tone for Jamie and a lot of the wording along his route to seem less…well…creepy/teenage fangirling over clothing and kiiiind of his personality just being everywhere. So after realizing what he WOULD NOT say, I think we got a rough idea of his actual character.
Gabriel is deepening a little bit as a character- less standing around being a quiet, kind of mother hen. Like, clucking and and everything.
Plus, if you noticed Kylie and Gabriel are siblings!
whoooo~
long post, but welps. Anywhoo, thoughts and opinions are always appreciated and if you guys like this ramble, let me know so I can keep everyone updated. And rambled at.
adios, amigos/amigas~
0 voters
Girl number! Score!
I do not consider this a score. (Now Jamie’s number, maybe… )
While I’m asking questions, Mr Nells keeps asking if anyone else has any questions, but they don’t… until I finish, and suddenly Kylie has one.
“I think I know exactly what you mean…”
“Because that’s how I feel about you!”
Eh, Jamie’s cute, and a romance would be fun, but we’ve known one another for literally a day, and I don’t think he’s “part of my soul” yet… I’m going with “family” for now, and just hoping it’s not necessary for his romance.
Sei seems to want to investigate a structure she saw during the ride today. Gabriel is going to do some roping practice with Kylie, and Jamie has retreated to the porch to start whittling a figurine out of wood. Which one should I join?
I assume this is after we’ve eaten, but there’s no text indicating that we’ve moved on from that scene.
Everyone joins in and we smohow manage to carry the tune.
“Somehow”.
A sinking suspicion that I won’t live down the previous night’s performance settles over me.
What performance? I didn’t do anything particularly embarrassing.
Still, without much more adieu, we set off towards the stables.
Should be “ado”. (“Adieu” means goodbye.)
And… huh. I wasn’t expecting that. I mean, I guessed the plot wouldn’t just be about messing around with horses, but…
Anyway, I like where this is going, and am interested in seeing more. Good luck with the game!
Thanks so much for the feedback!
We’re still working on Jamie’s route overall [because I think that scene file is actually not from chapter five, but externally referenced]. He’s been a bit of a wildcard for development, but I’m so happy you’re enjoying him so far!
About the horses bit, yeah I get you XD
This is a working ranch and that is the primary reason the player character is here. However, there just happens to be juicy things happening on the sidelines, if you so choose to look into them. Or, you can choose to be boring and do nothing. That’s entirely up to player choice and it does affect stats and other relationships later on by how you handle things and the overall pattern of behavior. Granted, this hasn’t been playtested exhaustively and well, there are major discrepancies still as well as still tweaking routes due to writing them at one time rather than how the player would see the individual timeline. Methinks revision on those individual routes will likely be in order for percentage checks, exact wording ect, ect.
For now, please consider this a working draft ^^
If you have ideas about things you would rather be doing that does not pertain to horses ect, I’d love to hear them and they just might pop up in the game/related writings. Thanks so much for the detailed review and catches, you’ll be seeing an updated version hopefully with the next chapter release!
ps we need an achievement ‘Gimme ya number~’ totally gonna get all those XD
So, small update to the WIP about the coming chapter updates pre Chapter 6 release
add more interest for each day in off time
This seems a bit lacking, so I’m thinking that some kind of game/puzzle/entertainment/fluffy bit would be good here
Character focus/development
getting the tone right for each character and solidifying their personality ect is a priority
Work on the tone overall for improved reading
as fun as a casual tone is, there has to be some amount of effort shown on things like ambiance and scenery
Revision/prettying up the intro- same point as above
rewriting dialogue branches
editing chapters 0-5 for consistency
cull the ellipses-pocalypse
Alrighty, chapter 0 character creation/opening is in the clear! @Bjorked and I just edited it for better flow and ambiance, so let us know what you guys think~ Super excited to be more active as a part of the writing team ^^ hopefully, the change is a good one and there are no obvious gaps in writing style.
0 voters
On Foxtrot Hill WIP
The place for all the hot tracks that help inspire the game!
I know the game makes more than a few nudges at popular media of different sorts, so here’s the list for all the things that well…were fun, but not included directly in the game, or just seems fitting, etc.
Please feel free to suggest nice tunes-official when possible and as safe for work as possible-
wheew! That was a huge list, but we got way more where that came from