Mafia City- Rise of a Don [WIP] Updated(02/03/2019) Poll Added 48

dashpic
Hello, this is my first choicescript game. Am a newbie in choicescriting but a huge choice of games and hosted fan. I will gladly listen to suggestions and would love if you guys would criticize it appropriately.

I’ve begun work on my new game Mafia City. In it, you play a character who joined the Mafia with goals to investigate and avenge his father

Currently it has approximately 45000 words. It only still has a prologue which is pretty much just a character buildup, and its starting to look like its own game. If anyone has any ideas on what to add and what to remove from the game it will be addressed and appreciated. Thanks in advance
To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/3576

Changelog
  1. 12/1/2019
  • Cover art updated

  • Prologue updated

  • Chapter header added

  • Multiple stat chart added

  • Save system added( thanks again to @CJW and @Malebranche).

  1. 02/03/2019
  • Started on Chapter One

  • Still working on the stats page

After playing the game, what do you think about it?

  • I should continue with the game but it still needs minor changes
  • Stop making it cos it ain’t gonna be good
  • I still have my doubts becase I think it needs a lotta changes

0 voters

77 Likes

I love mafia related stories good luck

4 Likes

This seems a little to similar to Life of a Mobster besides the father assassination.

4 Likes

Interesting story. Waiting for more :slight_smile:
Ah, I found some pronouns errors
pronouns

2 Likes

You had me at mafia story! I’m not really a fan of stories that start off from when MC is a baby but for this story I can understand why. I enjoyed it so far but just a suggestion - would it be possible to make an option/options where Alex/Julian ask a female MC out?

4 Likes

Nice work so far

1 Like

Yeah I know, but you know that I have to get my inspirations from somewhere and I just started an planning to change a lot of things

Done, thanks for the observation

Monster? :open_mouth:

1 Like

He/She meant mobster

It’s cool I’m sure it’ll be it’s own thing.
@DontJudge fixed thanks

1 Like

I think that would make the use of MCs stat somehow useless in that case.

Excuse me but,(」゚ロ゚)」 thats how mafia works

11 Likes

Really liking the story so far keep it up

1 Like
Some errors I found

image

I’m confused here I never met an Alicia, but I’m assuming she is the beautiful girl a bumped into earlier? But when I tried to ask her out I failed so we basically never met.
image

Wow, it amazing how I just got a CC0 image for my cover art this quick. Thanks to @Jacic for his post and thanks to Pixabay for the nice image.

Is this sponsored by Mafia City?

that’s how mafia works.

16 Likes

Solved

@N1GHTMAR3 What?

A mobile game called Mafia City has launched very irritating ads and it’s become a meme.

1 Like