@ChoiceofManning I didn’t think you’d actually just write it out like that… Sorry. If you don’t want spambots stealing your email you should write it as youremail at outlook dot com or something. Or if you want to just erase it too, now that I’ve seen it. 
…
Also the first thing I noticed is you have all the default scenes listed in your scene list - you don’t really need those scenes.
Did he just write out his email. 0-0
hmm I think I may have some problems with more than just your grammar.
But I might just be confused.
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Raiders are storming your kingdom. How many raiders? An army or just a small band? Did they surprise your kingdom or have you sent out an army of your own to push them back?
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One raider attacks you. Is he separate from his group and just decided to attack you because you’re the prince? Or are you on the front lines - in which case, why are you only being attacked by one raider?
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If he has a sword, does he have a shield too, or any armor? And is this a one-handed sword like a long sword or a heavier two-handed sword.
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Do you have any armor or a shield? Swords and axes are about the same weight. Unless you’re thinking of a halberd, which would be heavier. For something light and fast, you’d probably use a short sword and then you’d at least want a buckler, because your reach would be shorter. Spears give you a longer reach, but they’re not really meant for throwing. For that, you’d want a couple javelins as well as your spear.
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There’s no need to block (which would not stun the raider) & parry with your sword. If you want to disarm him, you could just parry him. Also, if the raider is stupid enough to do an overhead attack, that would leave him wide open anyway.
Your axe would not cut through a sword. And it would only shatter it if it was very low quality. But I don’t have much experience with axes.
and that’s just the start.
Wow ultra reviewers…
Smeet has a good those things do factor in greatly more so the armor and fighting styles than were ur character is at the particular moment … I think u should be able to choose what kind of armor u wear(if you wear any at all) and your armor choice (heavy ((head to toe steel plated armor)), medium((light steel chest plate leg grieves thigh armor and gauntlets optional light steel open face helmet)) , light(( leather armor head to toe optional helmet)) or no armor at all) and your armor choice should influence what kind of weapon choices u have heavy(halberd, 2 handed broad sword, optinal steel scutum shield) medium (battle axe, sword rapier, spear, optional steel heater shield ) light (sabre, javelin, daggers, unarmed, optional small wood/hide buckler shield)…
With these options it would allow a player to further customize the PC attributes and fighting style
I’m not sure how much the army comes into play during the story but after the player chooses there fighting style and armor/weapon choices the style you choose (example: light armor,sabre) should be the kingdoms most fiercest and decorated unit/regiment [example: light Calvary ((that you lead as a prince))] of the army but not the entire army’s fighting with this style puts the players army at a disadvantage if they come against a Heavy infantry type of army
Other than that everything else is almost perfect
@ChoiceofManning
If we were to fight against one kingdom, wouldn’t that leave our kingdom open to attack by the other multiply kingdoms. Just saying if I heard a kingdom that just recently joined the war and left to try and conquered another kingdom I would be so over there. Are there natural defences that hold off the other kingdoms, similar to an real life European country who’s name I cannot remember.
And what are the romances exactly? Are they political or just some people that you form attachments during the war.
Can we become an Emperor by chance if we win the war by beating the neighbouring kingdoms, and can I call myself the Black Emperor or Dragon Emperor? Since the title of Emperor is gained with the acquisition of smaller kingdoms. And I believe we are going to gain some land during this war.
As well, can you give us a situation with our ‘adorable’ little brother tries a coup d’état for our throne. I really don’t like siblings, and I think it would be a interesting scenario. Unless of course is how long the war would be for him to age to be able to do such a task. I just think that since most of these games have your siblings as your allies, it would sort of fresh. An come on, nobles will take any chance to be on top even if they have to go against their families. I don’t really by in their naivety, wait for a few years and they would be all over for your throne.
Okay guys sorry for being away for a while but I have been messing around with choice script trying to find ways to a whole bunch of complicated stuff to get you guys what you want… Unfortunately I suck at understanding the hard stuff.
However also during my break I put into some real thought the world the story is set in and what exactly is going. I have been trying to make the story fit so that the MC can walk many different paths but still reach the same goal. I have outlined the story and choices for this game and I have also come with outlines for a few others as well.
Anyways I’m still working on this game but I have more a demo that is ready to be tested now. It goes through with setting up the story and going through character stat customization. Tell me what guys think of it Ok.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/239918414/web/mygame/index.html
1 Like
@ChoiceOfManning
I think its awesome so far! Love the world building your trying to make. If you could put space after people are talking and more paragraphs instead of a long one on one page it will be perfect. Plus do you have a map of this world?
Keep up the good work!
Would we be able to form an alliance with any of the other kingdoms, I ask this because we are a neutral country and the prospect of an alliance seems sensible which could help improve our situation in the war.
@Specter no An alliance won’t be possible, your kingdom is made up of several different types of races. While the other kingdoms are made up of one race. If you formed a alliance with any of the other four nations. Then you would be forcing some of your soldiers to fight their own kind, while some of your soldiers don’t have to fight their own kind. Outwardly an alliance would ease the burdens, but it would do severe damage inwardly
@BatGirl916 thanks, and I will go back and put more spaces in when I’m editing it.
Love the story been watching for a while theirs typos here and their and a few grammatical errors but I’m not one to fly off the handle on that stuff your story is compelling and I think I want more revenge than my character does I’m going to burn Avalon and king aragons little house to ground I need not rule over a land if ashes let the vultures come to pick it clean when I am gone
@Specter I’m hoping to have this story going for about 4-5 games like ZE so you won’t be ending the war in this one, just entering into it. At the End I may input some vanity title to call yourself, if there is more demand for one. You will several diffrent romance options throughout the war. And the little brother thing probably isn’t going to happen. If you died the Elder Council would assume rule over your kingdom. And also your brother and sister are only like 15-16 yr old and your around the age of 19-20. It would be unrealistic to have your brother try and kill you during a war, so he can rule. Also your entering a war where everybody is every bodies enemy. The other nations aren’t going to risk losing too many soldiers against a non-essential threat when they have other larger enemies to worry about.
Very interesting.
Can my kingdom have like magic abilities or something? :0 i just love it if we could add some magic battles xD hehehe
Well let me say the concept is good.
As you said yourself there are many grammatical errors and the writing needs allot of polishing.
Hope to see some update soon.
I think this would be a great game, but I ain’t to picky about grammars and stuff so I cannot help you there.
How do you guys feel about the character customization with the stats. Do you feel it let’s create your own unique character?
Oh and @Xhandas I am thinking about working magic into the game but probably not the way are thinking of it
@ChoiceofManning i love having a unique character and i also would love having magic