The level of detail was what really made the story stand out for me. I think, if anything, keep the length at least where it is, maybe even expand it. I think you have a way of balancing reader interest with immersion and I really like it. Keep it up, I’m looking forward to reading/ playing more and seeing what you do with the rest of the story! 
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@sammyboy Yea I think that would work better, I had debated a little if it looked too odd when writing it, so I’ll change it for the next demo. Thanks so much!
@anon49824592 I’m a bit indifferent when it comes to romance, which is why I asked the question in the first place. I don’t personally have too much of an interest in it when it comes to text based adventures, but I do see that a lot of people enjoy having the option. I won’t be doing it for too many characters though I think. That’s more of an experience related thing since I don’t write in that genre much. So we’ll see how this goes lol.
@Bjorked Thanks so much! I sometimes wonder if I type too much even when replying to a comment or something. I’m glad to hear that it isn’t boring despite the length. Thanks so much for letting me know, and I’ll be sure to update when I have more out.
As of right now I’m working on more of Chapter 1. I just have a lot of work to do over the weekend so progress is a little slower than I’d like it to be. Stay tuned for more!
3 Likes
It’s ALIVEEEEE!
Sorry guys for taking forever to work on this, but I promise I have been working on it. As you’ll see with the most current update (which btw is available here and in the first post.)
Recommended save point: I’d save it right where the instructor tells you there’s an hour left to do your business as that is the major branch point of the game. This section will be getting a major addition to it when I add the time bendy feature. Ooooh time bendy!
Ignore stats at this stage, they haven’t been fully implemented.
Update List:
- Added new characters (4 mains and several sides)
- Added Courtyard scene
- Edited customisation
- Added new task (may add more)
- Edited courtyard scene - 5/22
On to do list:
- Complete rest of morning scenes
- Add some journal entries
- Finish Chapter 1
- Implement Keeper ability
- Implement tasks
- Implement stats
Opinions especially needed on: (basically tell me if you like any of these ideas or think they’re bad ideas)
- Include a brief character profile, to keep track of everyone?
- Notify you in game when stats are affected? Or no notification?
- Notify you of new journal entry or not? (Tasks are always noted.)
- Have achievements or no achievements?
- More to come soon…
Let me know what needs more tweaking or if anything seems odd or off.
I know there are lots of greyed out options, they’ll eventually be available. Any options that say (non-functional) next to it will lead to ending the scene, so click at own risk.
I’m actually currently in the middle of finals weeks so I will probably not make another post until at least Friday, but more likely not before Saturday.
With that being said, please firstly, let me know if the link just takes you the original demo I posted (for those of you that have played it) or if it actually works. Also feel free to start commenting on the new demo and especially any bugs or inconsistencies you come across. I have done quicktests and randomtests and so far they’ve come up with nothing, but it can always skip things.
I’m really tired and still need to finish studying so update more on the specifics after finals.
I’m more or less free for now. I’ll update if I’m not.
Have fun!
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The story is interesting so far, and you really put many details in this 
Anyway I stumble into this while playing might as well report it:
Your mother was at the village market gathering ingredients for dinner white your father was out hunting with some others in the nearby forest.
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I noticed you used the English spelling of “centre”, instead of the American “center”. Not an issue, I just noticed it is all.
So far, I like what you have.
[spoiler]First page
" A dagger to the throat would cause all of those, but the one emotion it doesn’t account for is the last you see in thsoe eyes. "
…those eyes.
" You compse yourself though. "
You compose yourself
In the courtyard at the pool:
" Sapphire eyes stare back at you as your {haircolour} hair sits somewhat neatly in place just as you prepared it today. "
[/spoiler]
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This is certainly interesting! Though I will say that the courtyard scene was very repetitive, which made it easy to get lost. It felt like many of the paths to walk led to the same places.
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@Vattena Thank you, I’m glad you like it! The details is part of the reason why it took a little while, but sadly (or perhaps gladly?) there’s still more to add to chapter 1. Thank you for pointing out the mistake too, by the way! I have fixed it and will update the new version with it.
@FutbolDude21586 Yeah, I know the first post is a really long one but I actually noted on there that I use UK English. Mostly because it’s what I’m more used to? I’m hoping it won’t be too much of a distraction, but I can try and fix it if it does become one later though. Thank you very much for pointing those out! I’ve fixed them and will update the version soon.
@sammyboy You know, I actually did not play through that scene fully, but now that I check it I can see what you mean. The courtyard is actually mirrored on the left and right side, with the main differences being the flower patch and the statues, so that might be why it seems repetitive. I’ll fix a few things on how it’ll read if you go back to it from the fountain or sitting down, but I’d like some opinion too on a few of the following points regarding that scene.
(If you don’t mind lol, and anyone can comment on this part too!)
I was quite possibly considering adding a map either at the door which is the courtyard’s entrance. Or I could have it where the map will be available to you throughout the courtyard scene in possibly the journal section or an addition to the stats page. Would you prefer having a map or some sort, or would you prefer the next option?
Renaming some of the paths to reflect exactly where they lead, rather than it just being “take the left path” or “take the path on your right”. Also, possibly getting rid of the stone formations entirely to make it less confusing as well. I do have a use for them, but if it is too confusing I’m willing to change it up.
Or both, have a map and rename some of the paths?
On another note, I am finally done with finals! I may not have too much time today to work on it, but I’d still love more feedback on the latest update, and I will also polish up the post with full update details. Thanks!
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Not a problem at all. The words “center” and “centre” are similar enough that I believe most people will understand it. Whereas we say “trash can”, the English say “rubbish bin” (or so I’m told) so a lot of Americans won’t understand that one.
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Poking around the updated demo I have one key suggestion: Trim the courtyard section - it’s huge walls of text and labyrinthine choices bog you down with no clear path to escape beyond hitting restart. Trim it down to key encounters that enhance or guide the story and cut the rest.
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@FutbolDude21586 I definitely see your point, and have thought about this before. I actually live in America now, so I’m sort of getting used to the differences here. So with that I will be trying to keep the differences to a minimum. Please feel free to let me know though if the spelling gets distracting or if I use a phrase not very common or easy to understand. I’m more than willing to change it if need be. Thank you for letting me know!
@LordOfLA Lol it took me a while to write all that out, and was I wondering if it was a bit too much. I am considering adding a map beforehand or throughout the duration of the courtyard scene so people can keep track. I also think I’ll rename the paths so that it’s not just left and right, because I think that is where most of the confusion is occurring. Finally, I think for now I’ll get rid of the choice to visit the stones as they don’t play a part at this time, and limit the statues to only two or three on each side. Do you think that would work best? (As you’ve already gone through it a little, I’d love some opinion on that change.)
I will be going ahead with those changes and put it up once I finish. Also I’m wondering if you guys would like a map of the courtyard either at the door or with you, or if you can do without? And if you do want the map, which format would you prefer, thanks!
Note: I have edited the new post with the link with full update and other info. Please check it out and let me know!
I had to scroll on a 1440p maximised browser window. You have too much descriptive fluff in the courtyard. How big is this courtyard? The content you’ve made so far make it seem like a small town rather than a courtyard surrounded by dormitories.
Really it should be something along the lines of “You step through the doorway to the courtyard [insert descriptive text] and there are [these interesting places - the gazebo and fountain for instance] which place would you like to go?”
That whole maze needs to go. I really did just look at a wall of text I had to scroll down and ended up this glazing over it and hitting next page until I could see some dialogue.
Yeah, I only ran the quicktest and randomtest for this part, so I didn’t go through it myself first before putting it up. It’s somewhat sizable but now that I’ve gone through it, I can see how massive it seems which is not my intention at all.
I’ll be taking things out and shortening it for the next one so that it’s easier to navigate and hopefully not a drag to go through. Thanks so much for the input!
As you’ll note from the title, I have put in a mini update today which has edited the courtyard scene.
Please let me know how the scene plays out now, if you like it or not. If there’s anything else you think needs adjusting.
Also please let me know if it still seems too lengthy, I did cut it down and this time went through it myself. It should be mostly clear of bugs, though I haven’t gone through every possibility, so no guarantees.
Other than that, I’m working on the rest of the morning activities and implementing stats.
Let me know your thoughts and questions, and also please check out the “opinions especially needed on” section from the last update post. Thanks!
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Hey guys, I’ve been working on the last parts for chapter 1, but I’d like some opinions from you all regarding side activities and interactions.
I know I have a lot of options, especially with what will be added next, of simple interactions with objects. I also know not everyone is always up for reading every little thing, obviously, but I want to know what makes it more fun or worth it.
I already have some side quests implemented as well as incentives as to either increase stats or even get some currency, but let me know through this poll and in the comments what you guys like to see when going through less interactive parts. Or whether you like reading every little detail for the sake of reading it. Thanks!
- Side Quests
- Getting money
- Getting items
- Getting secret items/side quests (adds more and is helpful for plot advancement, but doesn’t affect it if not found)
- Getting achievements (if they are implemented)
- Increase stats
- Just read it for the lore
- Others (please comment to specify what you like)
0 voters
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Alright, thanks guys for the responses! I’ll probably keep the poll up for one more day and then close it tomorrow night.
I’ll be implementing the results starting now, and I’m a little surprised achievements is as high up as it is lol. I figured not too many people like those, but I’ll keep that in mind and may ask more on that later.
As an aside, I have completely finished writing up all of chapter 1. The last thing left to do is add the stat changes, and now also some of what you guys like from the polls. Please bear with me as I’m trying to figure out the best way to do stats, but that’s the only reason it hasn’t been updated yet.
Thanks! Stay tuned.
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Hey guys, I’m really sorry for not posting anything sooner. I got really sick a day ago and wasn’t able to move from bed or do much of anything. I’m still fairly under the weather, just to let you know as to why I haven’t posted anything yet. I’ll try to work on it more since I’m still trying to figure out the best way to do the stats.
I apologise again for delays, I’ll update as soon as I can.
2 Likes
Take your time and focus on getting better, we can wait. 
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Thank you very much haha!
I just feel bad since I know I’m not updating with a lot of content and not much has happened so far. I’m still trying to figure out what works in terms of how much to inc. or dec. stats by, which is where I’m mostly stuck.
2 Likes
Alright, I’m finishing up with the stats addition and seeing if there’s any issues or bugs with certain decisions here. While chapter 1 is completely written up, I haven’t yet fully implemented the character skill yet. I’m working on it since it makes a difference in your interactions by using this skill.
I do have a question so that I don’t have to repost with a second change regarding the stats where the only difference is what is displayed. I’ll keep poll open until Tuesday or Wednesday as I’m travelling tomorrow and will not be able to check or update anything then.
Do you guys like being notified of your stat changes or not?
- Notify me of all stat changes directly in text
- Notify me of vital stat changes only (HP, INT, CHA, WIS, and skill) directly in text
- Notify me of all stats subtly
- Notify me of vital stats subtly
- Don’t notify me at all
0 voters
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I know, I’m terrible and I’m sorry. However, the first chapter is finally complete! (I think…)
[details=Poll Info]
I’ve used both poll opinions when finishing this update.
A lot of the options increase stats (or dec. depends on what you pick), and I have added secret items and side quests (or tasks).
Also I’ve somewhat subtly notified you of stat changes. The only ones I don’t really notify you of are Lawful/Chaotic and Popular/Unpopular. The first pair is based on if you do the right thing or not (things like lying, stealing, helping someone who needs it, etc.), while the second pair is based on your interactions with other characters. You’ll be able to figure out from the conversations and things you do, what people think of you.
Let me know if you’d prefer for me to do the stat changes even more subtly, because I can, but I don’t want to make it too obscure either.[/details]
[details=That’s a lot of stuff…]
Yes, I know there’s a lot to do. I wanted it to be that way for the 1st chapter so you can build up some stats and just have unique experiences with the game.
Don’t worry if you can’t do everything! It won’t affect the main game, but you can miss out on some side things that are more for extra story, making it hopefully a little more re-playable. I promise the next chapters will be more streamlined.
For more info on this please read the too many things, too little time part in the comments about this update. Thanks![/details]
The link in the first post is updated, and you can assume for all future update posts that will be the case. So on with the full update log!
Recommended save point(s): One of them is the same as the previous post, where you have the options of what to do with your morning. The other for now, if you want more than one, would be at the end of the first chapter.
Update List:
-Added Room scene and activities
-Implemented stats
-Implemented Keeper ability
-Updated spellbook
-Added backpack
-Added currency
-Added 2 new tasks
-Added 3 new secret items
-Finished Chapter 1 (Finally, besides any tweaking needed)
On to do list:
-Add some more journal entries
-Add Chapter 2 content (already started but not yet implemented)
Opinions especially needed on:
-Stats, stats, stats, stats! (Please, please, please I would love it if you post the stats you have at the end of the chapter. This will help with figuring out how future choices are made and what needs to be fixed if it can’t be acquired, thank you!)
-Gender options? I am considering adding another choice for this, Would this be something you guys want or don’t want or couldn’t care about either way?
-Do you want a character profile? (Will be part of journal)
-Notify for journal entries?
-Achievements or no achievements?
-Any and all bugs and nonsense!
Comments and Notes on this Update
Regarding stats:
I have implemented all the stats that will be used for the game. However, I am still fairly new to ChoiceScript, so I really need to know how the stats are being affected in order to improve on them if needed, and be able to create a more varied game based on what can and cannot be done.
Too many things, too little time
Some spoilers ahead, I’d recommend reading after you’ve played through at least once.
So if you haven’t figure out already, you’re a Keeper of Time. This means you have the ability to manipulate it and somewhat bend it to your will. This allows you to be able to replay parts of the game you didn’t get the chance to, without restarting the game!
On the other hand, you still have a limited time and you will not be able to do everything even if you do choose to use your ability. I’d like some opinions on this. Do you want me to increase the time limit, and give you the chance to do one or two more things each run? Or is it fine as is?
Backpack and spellbook:
I’ve finally added the backpack and spellbook features. Please let me know what you think of the current formatting for both. If you think they’d look better a certain way, or if it seems too confusing.
Also please let me know if it’s not functioning properly.
All comments, questions, and concerns welcomed!
Thanks guys for being so patient with me, I apologise for taking so long on these updates. Enjoy!
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