Just Like Clockwork - The Rangers Domain Rewrite - Feedback Needed


#1

Hello…again.
I’ve been having trouble coming up with new content for The Rangers Domain, and soon, I started rewriting some parts, and then, I decided to make it modern, with a main goal, to rescue the town, from…an alien invasion or something, I hadn’t work out the quirks yet.
Then it turned in to something totally different, you, rescuing your family, from a mob leader who is holding them hostage, trying to draw you to them so they can harness your magical ability…
And now, it’s this.
Some people might call it a real life simulation, but this story has what you would call a plot, it has the modern day aspect like Heroes Rise, just without the superpowers.
Mostly, right now, it’s just a rough draft, nothing to be awed at.
I know what some of you are saying, “Daisuke, don’t keep rewriting your stories! Stick to it or don’t make one at all!” thing is, sometimes I get a really good idea, and I end up rewriting the whole story, although I promise this is the last time…maybe.
I’m experimenting with a *rand function that does a few die rolls at the beginning of the game to choose the main characters you can interact with, make enemies, befriend, and date.
There will be a few guys and a few girls that are made, but for right now, there’s just one set, and I haven’t worked on the storyline for female players yet, so if your female and decide to play this, well, you’re going to be dating your own gender.
Again, this is just a rough draft, don’t be surprised if this game doesn’t look as amazing as I make it out to be, which actually, I probably didn’t.
Here’s the link, if you can, give me feedback!

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/80993229/Test/web/index.html

EDIT: Oh, almost forgot, all art in the game is made by me, if you need any artists to make characters for your game, i’m your guy. :smiley:


#2

Looks nice if a bit short on choices. How does the player know where Angel lives as she only gives you her number?

Good luck with the project :slight_smile:


#3

@Nocturnal_Stillness
Don’t worry, in the next scene he realizes he doesn’t know her address, and thanks!


#4

Note to all, this will not be a detailed story like The Rangers Domain was, and since it’s nothing like it, I may consider continuing on it.


#5

i have to ask where did you get the name evanlyn


#6

I know where it is from but I am trying to remember


#7

so… no more rangers domain? darn. this seems, interesting to say the least. there are like absolutly no choices, but im curious to whats happening with angel. Daisuke lets keep it coming, or start something new and see where that goes. either way im sure ill like what you write. =D>


#8

is it rangers apprentice @Zach ???


#9

I think so


#10

By my last post I meant that I would consider continuing The Rangers Domain, but writing two games at once and doing character art for one is quite a handful, and it could prove to be a challenge.


#11

A few corrections:
“My name’s Angel, and your Alex, correct?”
“your” changed in “you’re”.

“That’s great! Well, I got to head to the acadmey, call me later, okay?”
“acadmey” to “academy”.

The bell announcing that schools over rings, and everyone walks out.
“schools” to “the school’s”

Welcome to the stats screen, this is where you can view your characters atributes.
“characters” to “character’s”

I don’t mean any offense by those, also! It’s a “rough draft”, as you mentioned :slight_smile: .
The game overall will be nice in my opinion, in the way of interaction. Making so many people you can interact with makes it like a more-interactive “Katawa Shoujo” where you go to a normal school. Which is good!

Note: “You’re” means “You are”, and “Your” signifies possesion (again, I mean no offense with this!).

Good luck on the rest of the game! And really, you should stop changing the storylines. Not because they’d end up badly, but because I like the current one! I have to admit I wasn’t really that interested in the other games you were trying to make and always ended up rewriting them, but this is a good storyline you shouldn’t let go (in my opinion, at least)!


#12

Thanks @AlexCosarca
I’ll get right to fixing it, although it might take a bit, since i’m busy at the time.


#13

Update #1:

o Fixed Grammar Errors
o Enchanced Images
o Added Character ‘Unknown’
o Added More To Angel Scene

Note, this was a big update, you can only play as far to the point Unknown reveals himself though, but trust me, i’m working on more of the game, but since it was such a big update, Dropbox wants to take it’s sweet time uploading it, so it might take a while.

EDIT: The current image for Unknown is just a placeholder, i’m working on his avatar now.

EDIT 2: Dropbox has finished uploading! (Finally!)


#14

Are there any set varibles you can use with *rand?
Because die_roll doesn’t seem to work.


#15

No set variable for *rand. You have to declare the variable in the same way as normal.


#16

@Reaperoa
Thanks, I was confused because the tutorial for *rand said die_roll was a set variable.


#17

@Daisuke, it’s an offtopic question, but where did you learn to make those anime characters? I’d like to learn for myself, as making the game contain character images for every single NPC in the game (even for the player, perhaps) will definately make Red Moon more appealing.


#18

@Alex
I used to draw them, but I soon realized that it would not be good for a game, then I stumbled upon this:
http://khmix.sakura.ne.jp/download.shtml
It’s an anime character creator, that really helps, it’s pretty easy to use, and you don’t NEED to know jappanese to use it, you can just fiddle around with the different settings and figure it out yourself, if you need it, you might want to search for a tutorial on Youtube, you can even make your own designs or download others, you can save your character by going to the top of the application, clicking the tab on the top left, and selecting the 3rd option on the list.


#19

Update #2:

o Added a battle system
o Removed Character ‘Unknown’
o Finished the character generator (I still have to add more characters in though)


#20

Just saying, is it free to use (what I mean is, can you include textures from it in a game you will most likely sell later) ?

EDIT: Here’s what the main page says:
Somehow machine character

dress up like a machine to make the character a combination of parts.
The image you create can be safely used freely. (Size 2.9M) + default character set Ver.2.10 body character set version default Ver.1.xx (size 2.9M)
Nevermind about using them in a game you’d sell, you can (I asked this before I clicked the link).