Journey to the throne(Wip) Updated 11 April

low-fantasy
gender-choice
#22

Well, that was quite the spoiler. At least we don’t know how the MC will become one

3 Likes
#23

Good .i enjoyed it.

#24

But can we still kill someone?

#25

Yup…
You will get many chances to kill many people.

#26

Yay!!

#27

I liked it, it was really good so far. I think that as long as you continue with this quality writing it would be a good book. Just don’t cut it to short, or the even greater sin, throw in filler that doesn’t fit with the story.

One thing I would point out though, Lord can be used before either first or last name. I know that you can use the default names for context but it might be a good to have the servant address your sibling first, so that it’s obvious your deciding your first name, not your last.

1 Like
#28

Hey I loved the game and plot so far.

I feel like your ideas and details are phenomenal but they are not organized in a cohesive fashion due to typos and choppy sentences. Here are some examples:

I would love to help you proofread this game and I look forward to it’s development.
Quick question:
Will there be a romance/marriage system in the future? If so, is there a possibility of scandals, affairs, and other things that happen in medievil world?

Thanks for reading this blurb😄

3 Likes
#29

Yeah I accept that choppy sentences thing. You know I was having doubts about some lines and when I posted this I was expecting comments about these sentences. I think I know about most of them if not each one. But it will really help me if you will point them out. It will clear all my doubts.

About romance and marriage thing…yeah it will be there.

2 Likes
#30

Hazel is also a natural eye color.

2 Likes
#31

trders should be traders, other than that good

1 Like
#32

It’s a medieval game, love medieval games so this is automatically interesting but, will there be romances at all? Kind of curious. P.S. Love how we can choose what makes our town ‘special’, please keep it.

3 Likes
#33

Definitely an interesting start

2 Likes
#34

Sure. Here are some examplesPreformatted text


Run on sentence(should be a period before but)

“the army of enemy soldiers has” would sound cleaner

“you are lying in a meadow” maybe

“you turn in the direction”


Innocent

muscular body

1 Like
#35

You. I like you…

Hail Grammar!

2 Likes
#36

Thanks for your effort and about the enemy line…
How this would sound
“The Enemy army has”
or “the army of enemy has more soldiers than you”.
Because “The army of enemy soldiers has more number than you.” I don’t think this would be that good.

#37

“The opposing army has”?

#38

No… that won’t do but thanks for the effort though.

1 Like
#39

how about your enemies have you outnumbered?

2 Likes
#40

Yeah the enemy has more soldiers than you sounds good.

Happy to help

1 Like
#41

Thank u sir