Icarus Sun (WIP - Update December 27, 2016)

Oh, so that was You I was chasing down that pipe.

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That being _sa_id, that being saId.

(It’s already begun, I told you.)

Ah, whoops! Always gotta watch out for those quotation marks. Should be A-OK now, thank you!

If you want to know what kinda toolbox is right, look at the description of why the gears need a different kinda toolbox closely. :smiley:

This feels like a Scooby-Doo moment, like you’ve just ripped off the mask or something.

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Mini update announcement:

All of the paths for those who know of Miss Julie’s plan but aren’t currently involved in it and didn’t run from The City are updated and finished.

(And the code is even more convoluted than before since I had to split the sections into multiple txt files since one was too big to upload :sweat_smile:)

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Hello Everyone!

I have returned from my li’l trip, and had a lot of fun! Also some rather odd adventures. Such as seeing a bug in a bug suit, or shouting “my name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my father, prepare to die!” in a foreign language before rock, paper, scissors-ing someone to the death (it ended in me sprinting through the woods with what would be the video game equivalent of one life left while my adversary remained relatively unharmed… So I also got to learn that I’m horrible at rock, paper, scissors.), I also evoked pity from a quesadilla man at my inability to order a quesadilla correctly and had an argument with a storm because what else are you going to do when you can’t sleep at night because the lightning and rain won’t stop? (Very many logical things, and debate is most likely not one of them. But considering it was most likely around 3 am and there had been a storm the previous night as well I don’t blame my over-exhausted brain for thinking that the best course of action was to try and have an intervention with mother nature via the “we talked about this” approach).

Also I may have accidentally doomed a mosquito to slow starvation while intending to instead simply give it a quick and painless death so that it would stop sucking my own blood.
Whoops.

I am, however, very proficient in the art of swatting bugs now, however, so that’s one of the accomplishments I can proudly claim to.

But enough of that, it’s time to get back to writing! :clap::clap:

It’ll most likely take a while 'till the next update comes around, but I’m going to try and finish either a very large chunk of or the entirety of the next City section before I update. (Depends on how long it takes and how long it is, really.)

Until then, I did spend a lot of my freetime on this trip doodling in a pocket sketchbook I’d brought, and ended up making some rough sketches of my own interpretations of how everyone looks. If any of you would like to see said sketches I’d be happy to share in the meantime.

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Well, everyone always goes for rock, because it’s nice, safe, and defended. Unless you know that everyone goes for rock, in which case you go for paper, to try to trick those dumb rock users with your superior tactics. But then you have to watch out for those crazy fools who actually try to go for scissors. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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See, therein lay my problem! I went for paper, but my enemy truly was crazy enough to dare point the sharp-edged weapon at my paper.

Madman, I tell you, madman.

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I love it can’t wait for more

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Hello everyone! Long time no see!

Speaking of which, I should explain. This is not, by any means, a dead or abandoned WIP. In fact, I am very much currently working on it- a lot. As in, I’m caught in a bit of a boolean limbo with the current chapter. (So. Many. Variables.) Which, y’know, as a choose your own adventure game having a lot of variation is good, I think. Only problem is that it is slow.

Now, while I’m working on the next City chapter actively, I’m also working on the next Book chapter in tandem. Which is progressing a lot faster.

In fact, the first little section of it is pretty much done, and could be uploaded in about a week or so. (In comparison… it’s going to take a lot longer for the first part of the City chapter to be done… maybe a month, or more, if I’m being completely honest with myself.)

tl;dr So, I was wondering if you would rather I upload the first part of the next Book chapter before I upload the first part of the next City chapter (which would technically be skipping a chapter, but only temporarily, and there shouldn’t be any spoilers in the book chapter.)

  • Skip the City chapter for now, upload the Book chapter first.
  • Wait and upload the City chapter first.

0 voters

Thank you!

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I’d love an update but I really get the feeling to update it properly the City Chapter should be your focus and having an easier update after it will allow you as an author to relax a little and avoid burnout.

Whichever you do chose, the community will support you.

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Thank you for the kind words!

Makes sense (and looks like that’s where the general consensus is heading as well). I just wanted to be sure, since there’d been no new updates for two months and that was starting to feel like a really long time without me being able to put anything forth. So I felt a little guilty about not saying anything in regards to progress and just disappearing off into the void.

Either way, thank you again!

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I know that feeling all too well. Whenever I felt bad, I’d try to post some sort of “preview” of what I was working on; usually a bit of dialogue or description of the scene I was working on. Other authors would talk about influences on their writing and thoughts on characters and such…

Just throwing out some ideas you can use… just telling everyone about your triumphs in writing will inspire us. :sunrise_over_mountains:

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That’s a good idea! Thank you so much! (Again. :smile: )


Hm… well, :thinking:

Ah! One thing I can post that’s coming up: you’ll have the chance to discover a bit of the City’s History (as told by the City).

So here’s a li’l (or… long-ish) preview of that!


Many years ago, before time had records among The City’s archivists, The City was still around. The City, however, was not the watchful, warm presence as it is today. The Old City was a silent being, shuffling its sections, living out its duty as an observer of the Old City’s citizens. But the people were unhappy in The Old City. They were lost, and The Old City itself was in shambles without Children to repair it. Gears were rusted, water tasted of iron and copper, and the Farm was often stolen from by vagrants, leaving little food for the overall populace. More than that, people were dying often, for they did not have the medical miracles that are City Limbs.
The Old City was a run down place, and it knew it was so. The Old City watched, sorrowfully, as its people suffered under its unintended ambivalence. But The Old City was stuck in silence, for it did not have the City Watchers that we know and trust today. So, when one day, a woman fell to criminal violence, stabbed by a man for her money and left to bleed out on the steps of the town hall. The Old City saw her, and took pity. It knew it’d had enough. It took the woman into its care and, when saving her was impossible, offered her a second chance at life.
She became the first City Watcher.
The Old City, now free to interact with its citizens, set out to spread word of how it watched over the denizens, how it could now, with their compliance, have a more direct hand in helping them live free of such sorrow. Yet the people were skeptical, calloused from having lived without the graces of The Old City bestowed upon them.
Bereft with grief, The Old City watched with new eyes as its citizens actively turned their backs against it. The Old City tried again, and was once more met with disinterest and scorn. It was booed, and the woman’s new metal body was seen as a blemish, a freak. She was attacked, The Old City itself was attacked.
Unused to managing the fragility of flesh, The Old City failed to sufficiently protect itself, and she fell underneath the malice of the populace. But then, one soul stepped out of the mob, and calmed them.
A withered old farmer, one who knew the kind of greed and taint that came in acts of theft from the public’s food source. He proposed a deal, if The Old City truly meant to save them, then it would prove it’s good intent by saving his child. A son, but six years old, who had fallen ill and was laying on his deathbed. The Old City agreed, and took the farmer’s son into its care. When the son emerged, his torso- the infected flesh removed- was made of a gleaming copper. The farmer, sobbing with gratitude, pledged his services to The Old City. Many others, upon seeing the miracles that The Old City freely bestowed, soon joined in allegiance.
However, those that still opposed The Old City took offense to this peaceful joining. They declared war against The Old City, and acts of violence broke out among the people. While The Old City did its best to bring peace and reconciliation, it was eventually forced to fight back against the rebellion.
The Old City developed a council of those close to it. The farmer, some of the first followers, and of course itself in the body of the City Watcher. It was among the council members that the woman was named City Watcher. With The Old City at the helm, the council proclaimed a new set of laws for its followers. Through these laws, all chaos was quelled, and through the resulting society, the Old City was able to form an organized resistance against the rebellion. At first, it attempted a peaceful dealing with the dissenters. It promised a peaceful negotiation, in which it would listen to their proclamations and requirements for The Old City and the rebellion to coexist. Alas, the rebellion wished not for such a simple resolution, and would be happy with nothing less than the destruction of The Old City.
They sabotaged the peace talks, swiftly slaughtering the majority of The Old City’s council. The citizens could do nothing but look on in horror as their leaders fell, including the old farmer. But The City Watcher remain standing, for The Old City could not be killed. Upon seeing her invincibility, the cowardly rebels turned tail and fled the vicinity. The people cried, and the City Watcher, hands covered with the blood of her closest comrades, mourned in silence.
It was a dark day, and The Old City dimmed its lights in despair. It knew that it could not put any more people in such positions of danger, it could not lose any more friends as it had that day. So the council was disbanded, and The Old City was forced to shoulder the responsibility of sole ruler. Nonetheless, The Old City took care of its weeping people through the haze of grief. The Old City remembered the son of the farmer. The child, now parentless and wandering the streets, struck a cord of sympathy within The Old City. The Old City took the young boy in, and he became the first City Child.
The Old City realized that it would be able to help its people- to make those who were born weak strong, to bring those on death’s doorstep back into The City’s shelter. And so, it took in the sickly, the weak, the dying and diseased, and from them it created more City Children. Dubbed so by none other than the farmer’s son.

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It’s so gosh darn good to see you and Icarus Sun shining at the top of the forum - I’m more than a bit giddy to see you’re still up ‘n’ truckin’, honestly. Update estimations and in-universe lore snippets are simply cream-cheese icing~

Well… If the City’s saying it, then it must be true, yeah?

But… Ooh, would it be too close to spoiler territory to ask how this history’ll be delivered in-game? Will all variations of the City’s Child be able to get it, or-- wait, actually, I’m verging a bit too close to spoiler requests, methinks, so I’ll curb it there. eeee, I’m excited~

(ah, also, fwiw… please don’t feel too guilty about disappearing into the void. radio silence is needed sometimes. and you were working on it while you were gone, yeah? happiness is doing things you like at the speed which suits you. but even if you weren’t working on it… i don’t know. i’m trying to say something that’s not quite coming out, but it essentially boils down to ‘do you, we’ll be good’ and a hardy high-five.)

Also also…

Am I the only one thinking that would make an awesome band name or album title or something…?

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Of course. Why would the city ever lie to us?


Also, @RenaB, I feel that it’s completely up to you what order you release the chapters in. It’s your story, after all. :grin:

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This is a pun, isn’t it?:smiley:

Would you hate me if I admitted that I actually don’t like cream-cheese icing? (Well, any icing, really. I’ll take a muffin over a cupcake any day.)

But of course.

Well, I don’t mind spoiler requests (and it’s not a big spoiler but…)

[spoiler]Well, it depends on who you end up with by a certain point. As I’m sure most already know from the current demo, there’s a chance that Mentor will disappear, and you’ll either end up with The City or Miss Julie (or Mentor, if they didn’t poof out).

One of those three would tell you the above story, another a different, and the last a different one. (This is part of the ‘boolean limbo’ I was talking about.

So. Many. *If. Statements.)

There’s also a chance to find out more on The City’s Past and do a li’l detective work, but that comes later. With more *if statements. :sweat_smile:[/spoiler]

I appreciate both the sentiment and the hardy high-five.

Admittedly another reason it’s going at a crippled snail’s pace is also because my time to work on it has decreased exponentially.

(One reason being a creative paper… for a calculus-based study… which resulted in a big ole ‘?’ because how am I supposed to write creatively about math?)

Now that I think about it… yes… yes it would. (Probably alt. rock)

Thank you!

Honestly, I didn’t have an opinion either way, I mean, both are going to get done and get out there. I just wanted to know which order you guys preferred. :smiley:

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Yay this topic is back! What have I missed?

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Surprise is the spice of life :wink:

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Wow, okay, I just completely missed both of these and I don’t know why.

I’ve fallen back on my game.
Or some cliche like that.
Not sure how it applies here.
Anyway,

@moonwalkerdragon Nothing much so far, but hopefully more content will be updated soon. :wink:

@Pace675 That is very true. That and variety.

Okay so since I like this idea of li’l progress reports, I’ll go ahead and throw in what’s gotten done this week.

The first path of the first half of the City chapter is almost done. (Lots of firsts). So that’s good. Next up is probably gonna be for those who haven’t yet found out Miss Julie’s true intentions.

The Book chapters first scene is almost done. Once I finish that I’m going to leave it be and focus on the City chapter so that it’ll get done quicker.

Also,

[Spoiler] I may have added an unlockable RO. I didn’t really mean to and am still going back and forth on it… but every time I write his scenes the thought pops back up in my head.

So yeah, probably maybe a new secret RO will be added.

And, if this is true, then I would genderlock one of the current ROs. (The reasoning behind this is because, as I stated in the Gay Representation in Games thread, originally all of the ROS had set sexualities, but as I paired down the amount of characters and story there became too few to effectively genderlock the remaining ROs, so I had to change their sexualities… Well, except for Icarus, he was always pansexual. That being said, I had to then alter some plot lines due to this change, mostly just add extra information to them, but still. However, if I do add this new RO, it would be enough that I could genderlock Copper back to his original sexuality (gay), and still leave two male ROs open to MCs of any gender. Effectively still keeping the balance and ability to give the player choice… which is another pull for why I want to add this new RO, since Copper’s personal storyline does mention and refer to a previous romantic interest, who, no matter whether Copper becomes genderlocked or not, remains a man. And all this would really do is save me from feeling like I’m directly lying about a character when a female or nonbinary MC inquires about this previous relation and a non-genderlocked Copper would have to clarify he’s not just interested in men.)

It would solve a personal dilemma, but if this maybe-RO is to really become an RO then I would have to flesh out his involvement in the overall story a lot more, and develop his own character arc… but I’m willing to do that, and one of the reasons he’s viable to become one is because of how he’s already pretty interwoven with the later story. So… yeah. [/spoiler]

That’s all for now! (Sorry about the long rambling. Helps me work out and keep track of my own thoughts. :stuck_out_tongue:)

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Well everybody, it’s Saturday! Which means progress report time:

  • Got the first li’l scene of the next book chapter to a good stopping point so now I can focus everything on the City Chapter.
  • Finished one possible sequence of events for those of you who wanna try and reform The City.
  • Read the “Should there be really bad endings?” thread and went back into my plotting file and looked at some of the possible “bad endings” of the game (some of which aren’t really “endings” in the fact that they’re not an ending for the MC…) and I realized the opportunity to get one of these is coming up rather soon! (Hurrah?)
  • I also made a final decision on the whole Unlockable RO thing, and the answer is… (drum roll, please)… yes.
    It makes the most sense, not just for Copper’s romance to be gender-exclusive, but for this RO to be, well, an RO. (That and it gives me an excuse to write more of him, and I really enjoy writing his character). This means I’ll have to flush out his character a bit more (and his backstory), but, hey, I have fun doing that kinda stuff and I’ll need a lot to do for NaNoWriMo, so one more thing to do and I’ll have the incentive to do it.

As a little fun thing to celebrate this character’s new status, I wanted to offer up a li’l teaser scene from part of the next book chapter. I’m curious to see if anyone can guess who he is? (It’s probably pretty obvious… but that might just be because I already know who it is, haha.)

Here it is!

“There!” A broad grin, pearly white teeth lined by cinnamon colored skin, dotted with darker spots of freckles. “What’d I say?” A cocky grin, a voice dripping with self-assured confidence. Hands extended above, palms open and up, legs crossed on the thick wooden tree branch, which bends only slightly under the ten year old’s weight. You know this face, it belongs to a name. A name…

“That ain’t it.” Another name, curly black hair done up in an elaborate ponytail, accusing green eyes narrowed, hands engulfed in the fluff of a fancy pink sundress. “An’ I’m tellin’ ya it don’t exist!” High-pitched, whining, you know the voice, it belongs to another name. Another name…

“Does too!” The first name spits on the ground, as if this could defy her. His name was Tommy, he lived in the house next to yours.

“Oh does it,” The other name rocks back on her heels, a smile slowly slithering across her porcelain face, porcelain like a doll. “Well, if it does than it sure ain’t what you said it was.” She jabs one thumb to the tree tops, “‘Cause that’s a flower.” The other name claims, Delilah, you remember her as Delilah. She went to school with you both.

“Wha-?!” Tommy’s fluffy brown haired head snaps up eyes widening as he stares at what he’d mistaken for a butterfly, a cabbage butterfly.

You are ten years old, still wingless, and searching for a cabbage butterfly, which Delilah claims doesn’t exist.

“What’re you two doing?” A third face, a third name- Georgie, emerges from the bush. He sniffs wiping one cocoa colored hand across his nose. He looks from Delilah to Tommy, pointedly ignoring you. Georgie, who was in your class, but you never seemed to be in his.

“Tell ugly duckling that white butterflies do exist!” Tommy insists, pointing towards Delilah. Her soft brown, thick baby swan wings fly out to her sides defensively.

“Hey! I said don’t call me that!” Her face contorts into anger, “I’m not a duck!”

“You look like one.” Tommy sticks his tongue out, as if this made his argument more logical. At ten years old, it probably did. The tongue meant serious business.

“Yeah? Who’s speaking?” Delilah recovers quickly, grinning wickedly, “The hummingbird who can’t even fly yet?” She doesn’t even stick her tongue out afterwards, the nerve.

“I can float!” Tommy protests.

“More like flutter…” Delilah retorts.

“Hey!”

You all turn towards the narrowed brown eyes of Georgie. His owlet wings fluffed out behind him, arms crossed. Quickly, the two of them quiet down, waiting as his glare sufficiently passes over both of them. Only for a split second do his dark eyes turn towards you, is he going to speak-

He turns back to the two of them, giving you no more attention than an annoying breeze. Even though you were not the subject of his wrath, you shrink back anyways.

“So, what’s all this about a white butterfly?” He makes a point to turn his wings towards you. Delilah and Tommy glance at each other, neither saying anything.

“They were saying-” You begin when the silence continues to reign, but Delilah speaks up, quickly cutting you out.

“Tommy thinks white butterflies exist!” She proclaims, to which Tommy huffs and stamps his foot.

“Cause they do!”

“I ain’t ever seen one.” Delilah turns her head away, curls bouncing against her shoulders.

“But I have!” Tommy insists, stomping once again. Another sign of serious trouble.

“Liar!” Delilah accuses, to which Tommy quickly gives his counter argument, a strong case of “No I ain’t!”

“Hey!” Georgie snaps and the two fall into seething silence again. “Delilah, what’s all this ‘bout white butterflies not existin’?” Delilah’s grin grows wicked again.

“Y’see Georgie, I’m an edu-ed…” She pauses to think out the word, counting the sounds- or maybe the syllables?- out on her hand, “Edu-ca-ted woman.” She takes a moment to smile and nod, praising herself on the pronunciation. “An’ I’m jus’ tryin’ to teach Tommy here a lesson, y’see? But Tommy, poor Tommy’s got the brain of ‘is bird well as its useless wings.” Her eyes glitter with mischievous malice.

“What’d you say ‘bout my wings?!” Tommy grimaces. Delilah flutters her eyelashes innocently.

“Why, I didn’t say nothin’ ‘bout your wings, Tommy.” She claims, but Tommy still seethes.

“Stop it, you two.” Georgie snaps for the third time. He looks between them, then shares a brief but quick grin with Delilah, who almost squeals in excitement, upon finding her new partner in crime.

“Now, Tommy,” Georgie turns to him, still smiling, but now in a much more honey-sweet way, “You gotta understand, white butterflies- they just- they don’t exist!” Tommy’s face falls, his shoulder sags at the information.

“But I… I- I- I saw one, Georgie!” He desperately reaches forward, but the two of them back away as if he were a mad man. “I see ‘em all the time in the park!”

“All the time!?” Delilah gasps, one hand held up to her mouth at this shocking news. Georgie shakes his head sadly, a look of pity crossing over his face.

“Tommy, you’re… you’re seeing things.” He places a comforting hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Maybe you’re sick, Tom. You might need to see a… a special doctor or something.” At this information Tommy pales. He backs away from the two like a frightened animal, mumbling indecipherable terrors under his breath.

Now, you know white butterflies exist. You even know them under a special name, cabbage butterflies. You know Tommy’s not wrong in saying that they fly in the park all the time. You know that Delilah knows this too, since she went butterfly hunting with you just a week ago, when your two families picnicked together. You also know that Georgie knows this too, he’s in the class where you learned the name of this butterfly. What you don’t know, but think, is that the two of them are being very, very much like what your mother would call ‘cruel’.

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Why can’t I like this more than once?

Just a note: I’m fine with these things as long as there is a checkpoint prior to the ending which can be returned to upon reaching said bad ending. Playing through the entire game again just to do it slightly differently is generally less fun than it sounds.

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